Emotion Hider

Yes, that's me. I hide emotions. I'm like the tough chick from "Grease." I've always been a tough cookie. Oh yeah, and I hide pain. Give me a pair of sunglasses and some ear-buds with music and I'm good (just ask my dentist).
I'm right at less than a month till the big day, and last night I was a blubbering mess. I have no idea what came over me. I was like WTH! I'm not the crying type. I truly have to be upset or in pain to cry like last night. I thought I had an ok day, aside from my "blonde moments" at work, hehe. Nothing was upsetting me that I could tell.

Three years ago I had a hysteroscopy (sp) and a laparoscopy (sp) to see if my dr could locate the pain I've been having. (no luck by the way). When I woke up I was balling and asking for my husband and my mom. Hoping it was just the meds I was on that was making me cry.

After the big event, what were your emotions like from the first few days up until now?

It is good that you are crying now. I am like you and tend to hide my emotions. I found out about and scheduled my surgery about a month out. I was a mess the first two weeks and I let myself experience all of the fear and grief. I am glad I did that because it has helped me to be stronger through this process. I have been fine up until now 9 days post-op. I am so glad I grieved when I did, I really think it has helped my healing because I couldn't imagine having all of those emotions right now. I am sure there will be another round of sadness coming up, but I think focusing on how much better I am feeling will help. Good luck and keep allowing yourself these moments of crying, this is a major change in your life that you experiencing.