How do you deal with unsupportive people?

I've been booked for my surgery and have not been shy at all about telling my closest friends and family what will be going on in a few months. Because I'm having the surgery as a preventative measure (BCRA2 mutation), some can't seem to be supportive of my choice. Many think that I'm making a huge mistake, that I'll regret going into menopause at 39 (my surgery is the day before my birthday), and that there has to be a better alternative. Since my grandmother died of ovarian cancer 2 years ago and my mom came awfully close to dying of it 3 years ago, I've done the research, read the studies, and considered all the alternatives before making my decision. Why can't people accept that and just be supportive?

I got the same thing. I'm 38 and have no children, didn't want any, and that was a decision of my DH and myself...not grandparent-want-to-bes! By the way, I'm an only child. Not only my family but co-workers and some friends were very unsupportive. I have one friend and my DH that supported me the entire time and with this decision. My DH realized this was controlling my life and my friend has the same problems, but wants to try to have children.
When people would be negative or tell me I was making a terrible mistake, I would just ask them, "Is your good health important to you?" Most of course say, "Yes, of course." Then I would say so is mine and my overall well being is at stake here.
Bottom line, it is your body and your life. As long as you have faith that this is the best thing for YOU, then it is.
Good luck and God bless you.

I have ONE majoryly unsupportive person in my life. She has badgered me about this hysterectomy to no end. She had the nerve to tell me that I'd be sorry because I might want to have a baby with someone else. What in the world? I do not think like that, just cause she's a ** doesn't mean I am, and I have no need to please anyone else. This is for my health. I do not feel the need to explain it to anyone, especially her. So, at this time I am avoiding her.

I know it is tough. I'm dealing with it too. I just told people at work yesterday, and there was a lot of negativity. Of course, everyone seems to want to share their horror story (or one they have heard third hand). My plan is to focus on how much better I will feel. Hang in there!

I only told people who needed to know. I tend to be private and felt there was no necessity to tell anyone other than very close friends and family. Personally, I did not look for support in my decision. It was mine to make and mine to live with. Those who do not support you do have a right to their opinions and by opening the discussion to them they feel they have a right to voice them as if you are allowing them to vote on the issue. You, on the other hand, have a right to do with your body as you choose regardless of what they think. You don't have to explain yourself either. So if you are faced with this again, maybe you can say "Thank you for your opinion, but my decision is made" and end it there. wpooh1968 has the right idea on how to deal with them IMO.

I have been absolutely amazed that other than my mother real briefly (she had fibroids but they never bothered her. I TOLD her exactly what affect they were having on my life and she fairly quickly changed her tune) nobody has said at 36 I am too young or won't I regret not having kids, etc.

I am also heart struck with the out pouring of compassion from my entire staff (really it brings tears to my eyes just thikning about it) and I know I am just so so blessed.

I feel for all of those that have not found themselves with the same level of support. I am not saying there aren't difficult times with mom upset about me not stocking my own blood supply or hubby not 'getting it' that I will need support from him in the form of being there.

You have to devide people into 2 groups the ignorant and the a$$like. The ignorant might just need a bit of information and then be your best alli. The other group, well there's no reasoning with them so you might as well disregard (or eliminate where possible) their imput.

Bottom line, corny as it might sound, you have all of us and like many others I have found this site to be my rock. Night or day, the light never goes off because someone is always here to hear and chat.

Julie

I will be going in for my TAH BSO at the end of the month. I have not told anyone that I did not absolutely have to. I am afraid to tell my family and especially my DH's family. I guess I have decided that anyone that would not be supportive, doesn't need to know. I don't need it. This site has been awesome!! Good luck to you. Only you know the losses you have been through, you know what is best for you. Keep the faith.