Husband not interested in Sex

I’m 7 weeks post op. Had my surgery 4/23. After surgery I was very interested in having sexual relations. Once I got the go ahead, I was really looking forward to having sex. I’m 41 he is 47.

Back story: Pre hysterectomy my husband and I engaged in consistent intercourse. Intercourse was always uncomfortable but for years I dealt with the pain and rarely denied him if he wanted it. The last few month prior to my auto was dealing with a lot of pain so intercourse wasn’t as often. Instead of 3 times a week, it was once every couple of weeks. I was actually grateful for the break.

Once Stay at Home orders happens I thought my husband would be bothering more often, however he didn’t bother me for weeks. Finally before my surgery I insisted we have sex because we would have a 6 week span of no sex. He didn’t seem interested but we did it.

When I called him from my dr office after my 6 week clearance I called him and said I was free to have sex, he didn’t react with any excitement. I came home and he showed no intimacy towards me.

In fact I kept asking him why for weeks he showed me no affection while I was healing. No holding my hand, reluctantly kissing me if I ask. Unfortunately my husband has never been affectionate towards me, but we always had sex and I only get affection from him when he was wanting to have sex.

He shows me nothing. So I addressed this multiple times and I get the same responses. Two days went by and still no sex. Finally I said we are doing this bc apparently I need it more then you.

It wasn’t the most pleasurable experience bc I’m so dry. Even though I have my one ovary, apparently I have no estrogen. So I’m very dry since surgery. I asked him if it felt the same as before, he said yes. I finished and then told him he better have an orgasim too.

It’s been a week and we’ve only done it once. I really want sex!! I feel free to have it. I’ve asked him multiple times and he says “I don’t want to�. I’ve asked him point blank, how do we go from you wanting to have sex pre-Surgehr, basically at times rolling me over even though you knew I was tired, and just putting it in....to now, not even touching me.

Today I said I wanted to sex. He looked at me rolled his eyes and said no.

I just don’t know what this is about. This is not about me not wanting it.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWood_2020 I’m 7 weeks post op. Had my surgery 4/23. After surgery I was very interested in having sexual relations. Once I got the go ahead, I was really looking forward to having sex. I’m 41 he is 47. Back story: Pre hysterectomy my husband and I engaged in consistent intercourse. Intercourse was always uncomfortable but for years I dealt with the pain and rarely denied him if he wanted it. The last few month prior to my auto was dealing with a lot of pain so intercourse wasn’t as often. Instead of 3 times a week, it was once every couple of weeks. I was actually grateful for the break. Once Stay at Home orders happens I thought my husband would be bothering more often, however he didn’t bother me for weeks. Finally before my surgery I insisted we have sex because we would have a 6 week span of no sex. He didn’t seem interested but we did it. When I called him from my dr office after my 6 week clearance I called him and said I was free to have sex, he didn’t react with any excitement. I came home and he showed no intimacy towards me. In fact I kept asking him why for weeks he showed me no affection while I was healing. No holding my hand, reluctantly kissing me if I ask. Unfortunately my husband has never been affectionate towards me, but we always had sex and I only get affection from him when he was wanting to have sex. He shows me nothing. So I addressed this multiple times and I get the same responses. Two days went by and still no sex. Finally I said we are doing this bc apparently I need it more then you. It wasn’t the most pleasurable experience bc I’m so dry. Even though I have my one ovary, apparently I have no estrogen. So I’m very dry since surgery. I asked him if it felt the same as before, he said yes. I finished and then told him he better have an orgasim too. It’s been a week and we’ve only done it once. I really want sex!! I feel free to have it. I’ve asked him multiple times and he says “I don’t want to�. I’ve asked him point blank, how do we go from you wanting to have sex pre-Surgehr, basically at times rolling me over even though you knew I was tired, and just putting it in....to now, not even touching me. Today I said I wanted to sex. He looked at me rolled his eyes and said no. I just don’t know what this is about. This is not about me not wanting it.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! My first thought sadly is to rule out a third party. Is it possible that he’s cheating? It’s prime “midlife crisis” age. It’s also a possibility that your hysterectomy and a fear of hurting you is affecting his desire...? We could speculate all day but the bottom line is you really need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. Let him know that sex is important to you and for your relationship and that his lack of interest is hurting you. Hope you get some answers and can resolve the issue. Good luck!

How long have you been married? The only reason I ask this, is simply bc we have been married for going on 24 yrs and each yr, as the yrs go by, the frequency is not the same. We go from 5 days to 3 days.... we haven't had sex since Sept 30th. I had such horrible cramping and severe bleeding. Not to mention our youngest wanted to stay in our room until I felt better, it was more for him bc he was scared with all the tests I had before hand.
All I would do is talk to him. Communication is so key.
I am so very sorry this is going on. I truly hope he explains his reactions in a way that is compassionate and makes you feel good.
Here for you!