Hurtful comment from boyfriend about not having kids

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Originally Posted by LadyT39 Thank you all for your responses and advice. Seems like every since he said this all i can think about is “the hysterectomy” and it makes me want to blame myself for doing it but what do i have to blame myself for i’d been having troubled periods and problems for years and i know i’m not a selfish person whether i have kids or not. But maybe he wanted me to blame myself they say “hurt people hurt people.” At least i got some good news this week, went for my yearly exam and it went well and my hormones are still At normal levels.

First, GREAT NEWS!!!! So happy your healthy, cheers to that.
Not having kids is never a selfish choice. Who ever thinks that is a flippin jerk. Never blame yourself for this choice. It's your body and you only know you. I was myself, concentrating on if I can't have a normal orgasm when we get the green light. I started to "regret it", until I remember, with free will, there is a plan. DO NOT let anyone make you feel guilty for choicing YOU first. I know that doesn't apply to every situation in life, but personal health, a heck'ya!
Maybe it is time to let him go if he makes you feel this way. The worst is, you will hold onto that stinking sentence forever over what ever anyone tells you for now on.
*YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, HEALTHY WOMEN*

Congrats on your exam. That's really good news! Hope you're feeling better about everything. None of us would choose a hysterectomy if it wasn't necessary. Taking care of our body isn't selfish. I went through wondering if I did the right thing afterwards myself. It's all part of the grieving process. My body is so much better now that I have healed...I am healthier and enjoying this life God has given me, even with it's challenges. I see now surgery was definitely the right choice for me. I hope you can also come to the place of acceptance.
Whether you have or don't have children doesn't change who you are. Remember, you are a precious person...a one of a kind uniquely you woman. You have your own gifts to bring to this world to make it a better and more loving place. Don't let anyone tear your down or shame you. You are worth so much more than that.
Take care! You're worth it

PS you have a right to make your own choices without criticism from anyone else...especially when that person hasn't walked in your shoes. Did your boyfriend have outrageous periods and pain to contend with? How could he ever judge rightly? He can't!!!
Sister hugs!

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Originally Posted by Magu Congrats on your exam. That's really good news! Hope you're feeling better about everything. None of us would choose a hysterectomy if it wasn't necessary. Taking care of our body isn't selfish. I went through wondering if I did the right thing afterwards myself. It's all part of the grieving process. My body is so much better now that I have healed...I am healthier and enjoying this life God has given me, even with it's challenges. I see now surgery was definitely the right choice for me. I hope you can also come to the place of acceptance. Whether you have or don't have children doesn't change who you are. Remember, you are a precious person...a one of a kind uniquely you woman. You have your own gifts to bring to this world to make it a better and more loving place. Don't let anyone tear your down or shame you. You are worth so much more than that. Take care! You're worth it

Thank you! All of you are beautiful and courageous! Hysterectomy is always hard no matter what. It is definitely grief and i never really looked at it that way but even my therapist and pre op nurse 2 years ago said its GRIEF. I was in tears when i had my pre op 2 days before my surgery and My pre op nurse helped me a lot she also had an amazing story she said “you are going to feel so much better” and she said she’d had a hysterectomy with no children but she and her husband adopted 2 children and she said God always has a plan. I honestly do feel better physically and sex greatly improved and I don’t have to plan my life around the flow and pain of my periods. I had missed countless trips and get togethers due to my periods staying at home mad because I couldn’t go anywhere. Now i can go somewhere anytime. So the emotional part is my only obstacle.