Older Mom - just told me.. .

My mom, 78 years old in August, just told me of her need for surgery. . .so I begin my education about hyster, etc, etc just tonight. She went in for a D&C yesterday and will be informed of her surgery schedule soon. She is obviously thru menopause. . but I am very worried, as she is older and very closed mouthed about her situation.

Does anyone know the score for older, post menopausal women? I understand that normal recovery is 6-8 weeks. . my mom is not frail - she is into her deep water aerobics class, active in the church, and gets around with no trouble, but being put under, abdominal surgery - I don't know what she will need to recover - and how i can best help!! Also what kind of questions do I need to ask the dr, or what do I need to read, research ASK my mom to find out how I can best help!

thanks for any and all guidance. I am already looking for my hot pad for her. . any other great suggestions!
Thanks ladies - and have a great evening and new year!!

Heather

Since she is, as you said, closed mouthed about the whole thing, you might get her the hyster sisters guide (book). It covers all kinds of things, what's normal, what to expect, what to look out for, etc. It might let her read up on stuff she wouldn't come right out and ask. It also might help her gain a more light-hearted attitude about things - it's a very sweet, friendly, non-"medical" book, and makes it plain that hysts are common, and nothing to be shy or ashamed about.

Other than that, keep reading and asking questions. Go to the first page of this site (https://www.hystersisters.com) and at the bottom of the page you will find lots of advice on how to prepare, question to ask your doctor, why you shouldn't worry if you suddenly feel like crying at the drop of a hat after your hyst, etc. There is also a place there for "Princesses tell their stories" where women post the tales of their experiences. Those can be really helpful, too.

Heather. I can tell you're very concerned about this...I'm sure your mom is too...AND we'll be here for you and your mom.

Up at the top right there's a pull down that says "more Hyster Sisters"...go to the section of helpful hints...then go to the "Ladies in Waiting" pull down. That will give you a list of questions to ask dr...and lots of other good information you'll need to help your mom through pre-op and post-op.

She'll need you (or someone) by her side to help out. Sounds like she's in shape...which will help her with recovery...however, it will take 6 - 8 weeks for her to start feeling good again (sometimes longer...just depends).

Her mobility will be limited for several weeks. If you're going to be there to do things for her...that's great...but if not, you'll need to move things down and/or up as the case may be so she doesn't have to bend OR stretch to get items she'll need (like toilet paper for instance).

Stock up on some easy foods...like canned fruits, jello, pudding, soups, etc.

Go with her to her drs. appt (if she lets you) so you'll know exactly what needs to be done..and what the pre-op instructions are...and what restrictions will be post op.

Glad to have you with us. Ask anything...we're always here.

Maybe we can turn your mom into cyber chic Seriously, I am sure tht it is very hard for her as ladies of that generation did not talk of such things. Print out some things from here for her and just leave them for her to read in private! I am sure that she will do fine with your help, you are a good daughter Keep us posted on her progress.

My Mom had a TVH and bladder repair 2 years ago at the age of 86. I brought her home to my house for the first two of weeks of recovery. She also qualified for a nurse who came to the house a couple times a week to check on her. Although I didn't know about Hystersisters until my own TAH/BSO last year, Mom's recovery was very like my own and the experiences I read about on the boards. Mom also does not freely communicate about anything "down there" which goes along with the era in which she was raised. Her bladder had actually fallen out but she neglected to mention it to my sisters or me for many months before seeking treatment.
She has made a full recovery and is doing well. Keep reading the boards - they're full of great suggestions on helping someone through a hyster. Good luck to you both.

thanks all of you who replied. Mom has now told me that it is a tumor and all results so far are OK - I guess that means benign in reserved speak. I mentioned this site and she replied that I am much more curious about how things are going and function, etc and she is trusting the DR with whatever he says. . .alittle frustating for me.

I will try to go to her next Dr. visit with her to get some more pointers on how to prepare for pre and post - but have told her about the heating pad and it is unearthed and ready.

thank you all again- and happy new year!

Heather

The "tumor" is probably (I'm guessing) a "fibroid tumor" or leiomyoma (sp?). They all sound scary, but they are more commonly referred to as just "fibroids", and the good news is they are almost never cancerous, and being cured of them is a simple matter of removing them. That doesn't mean recovery is easy - just that the process is straightforward.

You can learns lots about fibroids on this site:
http://www.thefibroidplace.com

There's something to be said for your mom's attitude. We pay our doctors good money, they are well educated and trained... It would be nice if we could always trust them to know best. I think in many cases we can, really. But so many of us here have had bad experiences - mostly with our *former* doctors - that we educate the heck out of ourselves in self-defense. But if your mom is happy with her doctor's recommendation, and not curious about all the details ("Just fix it, and let me know when I can go home.") then more power to her. She's probably a lot less stressed than most of us.


(Unless... Some older people hear "tumor", and automatically think it's cancer, and they won't make it to next Christmas. Be sure she understands at least enough to not panic. Years ago my Grandpa had a small spot on his face - he asked the doctor, who I'm sure said casually that it may be something pre-cancerous, and that he should have it removed. Poor Grandpa was so freaked out about having *cancer* that he got lost driving home - I think he finally had to call my dad for help. So make sure Mom is at least well-informed enough to stay calm. )