It is official. I have lost it. LONG VENT

s to you Belles3, I know how hard it is when you're facing something huge and hubby is focusing on tiny things as if they are the most important thing in the world!! I know with my hubby and those of my close girlfriends that they often do this when something is scary to them....Especially if it involves their wives...this scary thing is happening to the person they love and need most of all and THEY CAN'T FIX OR CHANGE IT!!! So...they focus on something they can do something about! They need to feel useful and in control....the problem is, this ends up leaving us feeling shut out or neglected! Try telling him that you know he's scared, that you are too...and then say "here's some things that you could do for me that would make all of this so much better and easier for me....I really need you to,...." and then give him a few very concrete and doable things he can do that will really help you. And then make a big deal of whatever he does in the right direction! Hope this helps...and remember, your sisters are here to listen to you and help with all the talky-touchy-feely stuff!!!!
Blessings to you,
Janice

My dh tends to be obsessive compulsive about our cars. He rags on us about drinking coffee in the car or eating in the car. I drive between 500 and 800km per week with kids in the car a lot of the time. There is no way there is going to be no coffee and no snacks in the cars. We compromised and I make sure the garbage is taken out of the car each time we come home and that any spills are cleaned up. So most of the time, it is good...but he does have his days. He cares about the cars, like I care about the house. The cars are his "baby". If they get scratched or dented, he gets upset.

As for there not being any good men out there? I would not trade my dh for any other man in the galaxy. He is not perfect, but he is 99.9% of the time supportive and the .1% of the time that he is not, I can usually explain to him what I need and he will be there for me. Over the last 11 years, he has been through h*ll with me while I have been dealing with childhood abuse issues. This hysterectomy seems a minor matter in comparison.

I hope things calm down and he comes around.

99% of the time I would not trade my dh for anything either. i think that he is just really stressed. I know I am making excuses for him but really he is a great man. Just Saturday he pampered me made me reservations at the spa for me and a girlfriend, had lunch sent in for us and everything. I think he was truely just having a bad day.

I agree with just about everyone here....I'm sure he's under alot of stress with your surgery as well. Just be patient, I'm sure he'll come around. Most men just don't understand, then they act like they don't care, but we know better....they're just as frightened as we are. I know my DH was scared for me to go into surgery...he made the comment "I'll be darned if you're going to leave me alone with 3 girls!" lol....like I would do that to my kids...lol...j/k.

I hope for your sake, he comes around and I'm sure he will.

Best of luck to you hun!