I cant make up my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello sisters......

I know some of my sisters here are suffering with the fact of really not having anyone to support them, and others that have absolutly no one around to help with anything, but here is my delema.....

I have a really supportive DH that I think any girl would feel lucky to have. He is supporting me through this whole thing. BUT.... I keep feeling like I DO NOT want him to go to the hospitla with me on the day I go for surgery..... I HAVE NO IDEA WHY..... I know I dont want to fall apart infront of him, although I have many times before about other things. He is working afternoons until May 5. He will be home with me from 2:30 am till 2:00 pm then my DS will be home at 4:00 pm from school and he will help with what ever I need... So my surgery is scheduled for next Thursday. I have to be at the hospital at 7:00 am and my Dh is leaving work at 10:00 pm on Wednesday night so he can sleep before we have to leave... He plans on staying until I am put into my room and he knows everything is ok....I told him I want to take the car and drive myself to the hospital, then his mom can pick him up and take him to pick it up in the late morning after I am done and he can check in on me and then go to work.... AM I BEING WEIRD????????? I just dont want him there for some reason....

Thanks sisters
trufrend

trufrend

I don't think you're being weird at all!

I felt exactly the same way. I didn't want DH with me at the hospital either as, having someone else around ~ probably looking extremely anxious or trying to cheer me up ~ would make me even more nervous.

He did end up taking me there, and settling me into the room, but I asked him to go immediately after that. I had a few hours to wait until surgery and just wanted to be on my own. I handle things better that way! I just felt it was something a girl had to do on her own ...

So, I understand completely and I'm sure there are others out there who feel the same ...

Wishing you all the very best for the 17th.

You are not weird at all. My hubby has seen me through many a surgery because of girly issues. This one was much different though. He took me to the hospital and sat in the waiting room like he always has done in the past. Once I was out of recovery and they moved me to my room I asked him to leave. I felt so bad that he had been sitting around all day for me and felt even worse because he was going to sit in my room and pretty much watch me sleep. Then I felt bad for asking him to leave. And for some reason I didn't want him there for long each day I was in the hospital. The second day he was there to see me get my blood bag out and help me to get up and move around. I got so dizzy and nauseated and after getting back into bed he sat with me for awhile, gave me his shoulder to cry on and then I told him he should leave. I just wanted to sleep. So I kicked him out the second day as well. The third day I was feeling much better and this was the day that he was taking me home. He sat through my Iv being taken out, my dressing being changed, etc.... He was amazing when he got me home. Just took care of me and put up with all my little quirks and mood swings. You do what is comfortable for you. I was in no mood for visitors and even told my husband to tell my mom and sisters to stay away. I didn't want anyone coming to visit or sitting by my bedside while I slept. Just weird for me to lay in a bed a be watched while I am sleeping and trying to recover.

I too understand your not wanting him there. My husband would never leave me at hosp, let alone let me drive myself there. He stayed until I was out of post-op and in my room. The only reason he left shortly after was because the hosp. I went to was an hour and a half away and it wasn't until after 6 when I was alert enough to aknowledge him. Then he had to get home for kids. He was back to get me the next day after kids got on bus. I had told him that it was o.k if he didn't stay at hosp. but like I said, there was no way he was leaving me there before surgery nor was he leaving until he knew that I was O.K. It was also nice to chat about whatever before surgery, it kept our minds off of the what iffs. In hind sight I don't think it would've been fair to insist he not be with me. It's how we are..I wouldn't leave if it was him. Everyone is different though so you have to do what you are comfortable with. Good Luck.

I don't think you are being weird at all.

I sent DH home as soon as I was settled in my room after surgery. I wanted to sleep, and I figured why should he watch me sleep when he should be working out. If he doesn't work out one hour every day, he turns into a crab and it is important for his health, as he is a diabetic.

When DH has been in the hospital, he has wanted me to sit beside him all day long. So I bring a book to read and he watches TV.

Different strokes for different folks . . .

I understand not wanting him there but maybe you should have him stay just till the op is over just in case they need some info while you are on the table my hospt. almost requires it. Good luck

Hey BKLYN,

We are surgery sisters! My date is April 23 also. What state/province are you in?
Wishing all the best!

Hugs,
Tracy

My husband took me to the hospital and went to work once I was in the prep area for my surgery. He wasn't in there with me, so I didn't see any reason for him to hang around. He had a class to teach the morning of my surgery, but he had his cell phone with him, and the surgeon called to let him know that everything went fine. If there had been any problem (which there wasn't, it was all smooth sailing), he wasn't very far away and could have been back at the hospital quickly. He came to see me a couple of hours after I was back in my room. I would have hated to think of him just hanging around in the hospital for nothing.

Hi,

I understand how you are all feeling, and everyone is different. you must do what is most comfortable for you.

I wanted my DH to be with me the whole time, and he wanted to be with me also, infact he didnt even wanted my mother to come into the prep room, but I insisted, at least for a short time before the surgery. he stayed with me the whole time and thru out the night, until the next morning we left the hospital. I dont know what I would of done without him, it was comforting to have him there,

remember there is no right or wrong answer, again, you must do what you feel is right for you and how you feel most comfortable going thru this.


good luck,
blessings,

I understand what you are saying. I would let him be there for the pre op and the op. When you are settled then he could leave. I told my DH not to bother coming the second day and he would not even listen~~~so I will just let him do what he wants . Men feel like they are there to protect you.