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How do I explain? How do I explain?

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Unread 03-27-2002, 05:55 AM
How do I explain?

Hi ladies!

My 11 y/o stepson will be coming to visit us over his easter break. He has not been aware that I have been having problems and will be getting the hyst I didnt want to tell him over the phone feel it is better to discuss this face to face. But I am not sure how exactly to explain the surgery to him. Should I say they are taking out the parts that help a woman make a baby? Should I tell him anything? I dont want him to worry he has lost his uncle and his grandmother and grandfather over the past two years and it was hard for him his uncle was the same age as me. I dont want him to think something will happen to me too. Any ideas??? Thank you ladies!

Love and hugs,
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Unread 03-27-2002, 06:32 AM
How do I explain?

You can just tell him the baby-making part inside is causing you the problems and you're having it removed so you can be healthy again. You don't need to go into a lot of details. Answer his questions honestly and clearly, but an 11-year-old won't understand all the parts involved.

I know a lot of schools are starting to include sex ed earlier now, so you may also find a book written for kids that may be helpful.
Unread 03-27-2002, 06:50 AM
How do I explain?

How about wording it differently instead of saying parts that are involved in baby making, you could say the uterus where a baby grows has to come out? Initially I just said to my 5 year old dd that the dr. was taking out an organ that was causing me some problems with pain. She saw me going to the bathroom alot and she said to me with a curious worried look on her face "mom is the dr. taking out your bladder"? She had an experience with a bladder infection that caused her pain, before I could tell her exactly what was taken out. I explained to her that it was where a baby grows inside a mom and I didn't have to go into all the "making" process. I also made her aware that I am unable to carry anymore babies after it was out. Since he's 11 he's probably heard about periods and sex but you don't have to go into to much detail.
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Unread 03-27-2002, 07:15 AM
Just a thought...

Regarding his being concerned about you being ok following surgery...
you might want to show him, or mention this HysterSister site to him and point out how all the ladies who had the same surgery get online and write to each other letting everyone know how well it went and that they are ok. That way he will see that others have been thru the same thing and did fine. It reassures children - and even teens - to know that many others did something and what the results where....
Good luck!
Unread 03-27-2002, 12:35 PM

I just told my 5 year old grandson that the doctor had to fix an owie my tummy. Nuff said. I think if they want to know more they will ask.
He did know I was in the hospital and then went to my mom's to get better.
Perhaps if we don't make a big deal about it they won't become overly concerned either.
I did show him my scar as it is looking pretty good. Just a little pink line. (He has a big scar on his leg from an accident last year, so I thought he would like to see mine.) Well he wasn't at all impressed. OH, well.
Just reassure him that you will be good as new, in fact better!
Unread 03-27-2002, 01:33 PM
How do I explain?

Hi , I just wanted to add that I told my 11 yr old son and 8 yr old daughter that the part being taken out was a part that I didn't need and could live without it just like tonsils and the appendix.
I think that helped them to realize that mom would still be ok.
Best Wishes to you !!
Unread 03-27-2002, 03:35 PM
How do I explain?

What the other sisters have replied are all great suggestions. I have a 5 year old so it's not the same, but he did have a concern because daddy had been in the hospital for a very long time at one point. I did say that it was the uterus where babies grow and that I didn't need it anymore and it was making me feel bad. I also said I would be fine afterward and not to worry.
Hope that helps a bit!

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