Sad...should I be??

Good evening all...My Dr. has been telling me for the past several years that I need to have a hystorectomey done and for the past several years I have said no or been determined that things would get better and that I wouldn't need to have it done. Well...I went to my GYN Monday and after two years have been told that I can wait no longer. My surgery is scheduled for this Friday...August 8th. I knew that the day was coming but I was praying that it would be after I got married and after I had another child. I am getting married in March of 09 and my fiance wants to have a child with me. After many teers he is "okay" with the fact that if we want any children that we will have to adopt one. Don't get me wrong...there are many members of my family that are adopted and I love them all very much....I am sad that I won't be having anymore children...and in all honesty I don't know how to handle this. The day that my surgery was scheduled and every day since then I have cried about this and can't look at a baby or even a pregnant lady without crying. This is one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to deal with...Does it get any easier??? I feel like I am to young and that there should be another answer. But I have been on every medicine known and have had surgeries and nothing has worked. I know physically that I am doing the best thing but my heart is saying something completely different.

This is a very hard thing to deal with and a place I went to for support was Aching Hearts here at HysterSisters.

I, too, was going through the sad emotions of never to have another child. What did help me was knowing that in doing the surgery now I was giving myself the opportunity to start truly living life and having the much needed energy for my family. In being proactive in gaining my quality of life back then I am being proactive in giving quality of me to my family and closest friends.

I am now 5wks post op and although I'm not 100% better yet, I feel so much better than have in 15yrs. That has meant so much to my children because already they see a change in me, for the better.

I'm so sorry for your upcoming surgery. I truly wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

Your feelings are perfectly normal, though. I'm sure in your situation (getting married soon), it makes it even harder, but just remember that your fiance is marrying you "for better or for worse, in sickness or in health." I'm sure that as much as he would love to have a child, he would probably rather have you healthy.

When I found out that I had to have my hysterectomy, I was in the middle of really bad baby fever, and it was a hard pill to swallow. I cried and cried and felt like the mourning might go on forever, BUT after the surgery was over with, it was like the faucet turned off and I was able to accept what had happened. It does get easier. That's certainly not to say that you will never think about it again, because that's not the case. Right now, my neighbors on both sides of me are both pregnant, and it has been hard to sit there and smile while they talk about their growing bellies. But I try to remind myself to be thankful for my health and for what I do have.

My heart goes out to you, and I certainly wish you the best of everything, not only for your surgery, but also for your future with your new husband to be.

Hi - I want you to know that I understand your grief. It's perfectly normal and and although the idea of never having a child with your new husband may never go away completely, the sting will lighten up over time. And remember the idea of "time" is subjective. It's different for eveyone.

I'm 45 and have been married for 26 years. I've had six miscarriages. I have severe PCOS and last July at my yearly physical my endo. biopsy came back positive. My TAH/BSO was August/07 and my cancer was stage 1A. I was lucky, no radiation and no chemo. One would think that this would make everything great. I'm alive, healthy and supported by a great husband.

However, the one thing that still hurts almost daily is the fact that I was never a mother. I've tried to be happy and more a part of my small nephews lives, but it's not the same. Most days the thoughts are fleeting and I'm fine, but this has been the hardest thing to overcome. And what I've learned is that letting myself cry and grieve is the best medicine. In the end I'm blessed.

You'll have better days. Good luck with your surgery and I'm here to talk if you want. And a big congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I hope you have a lovely day and that all of your expectations and desires for the day come true.