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No one to help me after TAH. No one to help me after TAH.

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Unread 02-28-2002, 05:58 AM
No one to help me after TAH.

We're at a very small base so the resources are minimal. Our next move is in July to Ohio where we have some family. I could put this off until then but I have been seeing a good civilian doctor and I don't want to give him up only to start all over again. I've done that too many times as it is. My family can't help at all though they all really and sincerely wish they could and DH's mom lives overseas 6 months out of the year. DH and I talked about this last night and he said when he gets home he will help me find someone. This has been a very sad and lonely stay for me on this base and I am looking forward to moving on.

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Unread 02-28-2002, 07:04 AM
No one to help me after TAH.

Some assignments aren't the best. The best consolation is knowing that if you don't like where you are, you aren't stuck there forever! This doesn't sound like the easiest of times for you right now- keep focusing on the fresh start you hopefully are getting with surgery and the move.
Let me guess where you are headed to...Wright Patterson? The hospital there is huge. It's a teaching hospital. I wasn't wild about never seeing the same person twice, but perhaps things have changed since the 1980s. Let me know.
Being near family will help- and it will be so good for your children. Growing up without extended family is hard on them.
Where are you at right now? We're up at the AF Academy, aero department. Except for the snow (Mar/Apr are the worst) it's been decent. Very safe for the kids, good schools.
Much as I love my children, I do sympathize with you- little ones demand more out of you physically. If you ever want to vent on this site- we're here!!!
Waiting on a second opinion up in Denver- one giant fibroid is keeping me trapped to the house 3 days out of every 24. Messing with this thing for over 3 years- but wasn't able to see a gyn, just a family practice nurse. Sorry, but Motrin just didn't treat this bugger and now I am exploring my options. Some good, some not so sure... but I sure can't stay this way forever!
Go do something nice for yourself today! You deserve it. Hugs, Nina
Unread 02-28-2002, 12:57 PM
No one to help me after TAH.

We're headed to Wright Pat for AFIT then off to Offut for 3 yrs and possibly Colorodo after that. The AF wants DH to teach at the academy before he gets out. In the AF you never know where you will end up. If things went like they were supposed, to I would be at Incirlik AB right now! I am happy to move around but this place has been the pits. We had a very hard time here, the worst 3 years of our marriage actually. We are ready for a fresh start. We have made it through the worst (unless this hysterectomy is worse than I think it will be) and we are ready to start on a new, painfree future!

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Unread 03-01-2002, 09:21 AM
No one to help me after TAH.

Hello Joann-
I've never been to Incirlik but it sounds like the dream assignment compared to wherever you are right now. I bet you have that moving day starred on your calendar!
We were at AFIT, too! Which program is your DH going to be in? The master's or PhD? Fun,fun, fun... While not wild about our time there (our biggest mistake was choosing a tiny apt. in a bad area, as my DH said we could invest the money saved AND he wouldn't have to do yardwork- no place for the little one to play) we made some very dear friends through the AFIT group. That was 14 years ago...and a year ago we were fortunate to have one of those families buy a house just three blocks away!
It would make me so happy to receive an email from you later this year, telling us all that you are feeling much better than you are right now and that you are enjoying a day up at Carriage Hill Farms ( a delightful historical park with animals and much for little children to see and do) located on the north end of Dayton. And the antiques galore in Waynesville. Don't let the base housing (Pig Manure, oh, sorry, it's PAGE MANOR) scare you- I thought it was public projects for blocks until my DH said, Honey, that's the officer housing...! LOL
Some lovely,lovely neighborhoods in Dayton- if we are ever assigned there again I'd choose Oakwood or Beavercreek.
Joann- please be good to yourself in the coming few months. You have a lot on your plate, as my mother is wont to say. Please let us know how the childcare is working out.
Perhaps one day we'll end up at the same assignment!
Oh, I just thought of something else. I had a wonderful, motherly neighbor at our first assignment. She once told me that the most important words in the Bible were, "And it came to pass..." She told me that no matter whatever happened in life, whatever situation came my way, it WOULD pass, it would eventually be part of my history. By July, you'll be able to say "it came to pass" about this rough spot in your life.
In the meantime, we're always here for you! Hugs, Nina
Unread 03-01-2002, 04:15 PM
No one to help me after TAH.

I am still thinking of you. I wondered if you had a crock pot that you could have DH fill in the AM before he would leave so dinner was cared for each day? And cooking ahead is a good thing when going into something like this too.
I am extremely blessed in that my married kids live near by to help and food will be cared for. I will do the shopping this weekend and then they will cook or DH or DS will.
I know its hard work to plan several weeks of meals ahead and costly too, but I was just wondering if that might take some of the burden off of you later.

Praying that help will come to you soon!

God Bless,
Unread 03-02-2002, 05:39 AM
No one to help me after TAH.

Yes, it will all pass. That quote is keeping me going. I hope that 6 months from now I am writing about how happy and painfree I am!

We are looking at renting in Centerville. I refuse to stay in base housing again, well, at least for a while.

I plan on making some meals and freezing them and I will pull out my crocpot recipes (thans for the wonderful reminder! I forgot I had it).

DH just got home yesterday so we will work on the babysitting.

So much to do, so little time.

Unread 03-03-2002, 02:57 PM
Another Military Spouse

Just a little note to let you know that We are out here and thinking about you. Everything you have described sounds familiar. I have been there. I only have one thing to add to all the rest of the great advice that you have gotten from the other "dependents". don't go directly to your spouses CO. Make sure you go through the chain just like he would because if you don't he could receive flak later on. also the Chaplain is a great place to go, as previously stated he can do things that no one else can. I will be looking forward to hearing better news on you in later posts!
I will keep you in my prayers.
Oh, and tricare has to give you a second opinion if you request it.
Unread 03-03-2002, 04:09 PM
No one to help me after TAH.

Hi JoAnn,

I had a TAH and like you had no help when I came home for the castle. Not only did I have no help during the day but at night also. My DH works 2 full time jobs so is gona from about 8a - midnight. I have a 3 and a half yr old and a 22 month old so they are about the same age as yours. The only real problem I had was them wanting to sit on me all the time like they were used to doing. I just sat in my recliner and when I got comfy they would climb up and sit on each side of me. Another problem was lifting the baby in the crib. I have a little plastic little tykes chair that came with a desk of my DD. I put it next to his crib and he could climb in with the chair....he has been climbing out on his own a while now. Oh, bath time might be difficult also. My DH gave them a bath in the mornings cause I knew I was not going to be able to bend over the tub like that so you might want to keep that in mind as well. Other than those things I really did not have many problems. I made easy meals for the first couple of weeks. The idea of freezing meals is a good one if you want "real meals". I never thought about freezing anything pre op so I just made stuff like different kinds of sandwiches, speggetti, hamburgers, hotdogs, tuna....those sorts of things that are easy. It really went fine for me so try not to put to much energy into worrying about it. Good Luck and let us know how it goes!

Unread 03-03-2002, 06:00 PM
No one to help me after TAH.

Thinking about you as I don't know you and yet your situation as a military spouse at a not-so-great assignment is something shared. Any luck with childcare? I was thinking, perhaps an ad up at the local high school or church youth group for a mother's helper? Someone to run the vacuum, play with the children, fix a simple dinner- the teenagers here get home fairly early in the day- and one might jump at the chance for a PT daytime job.
I was talking to a friend whose husband was also at AFIT. I mentioned this website and the plight of another military spouse. We both agreed- AFIT and hysterectomies are not a good combination. You'll be so glad you had this done NOW, with a doctor you trust. W-P AFB was quite the dizzying array of doctors and med students- hopefully things have changed in the past 10 years, but having the same doctor is a good thing.
Hopefully your crockpot is ready to go- gotta love those cookers.
Nearly anything dumped in tastes good.
When all is over and done and you are happily in Centerville (my friend Denise says she loved living there) you must tell us the name of the mystery base you are at- so we don't go there ourselves (LOL) Is there a chance to come out to the Academy instead of Offut after AFIT? We have a mighty decent group of folks out here!!!
Hang in there. When are you scheduled for surgery? Take care. Nina
Unread 03-04-2002, 04:17 AM
No one to help me after TAH.

Thanks for the advice on AFIT. I am firm on getting this done now with a real GYN instead of the array of docs at a military hospital. We are at Columbus AFB, a teeny tiny pilot training base that *** no hospital, only a clinic that can handle colds and such. Everything else gets referred to a civie. DH is not a pilot and that is where my lack of support problem stems from. I don't move in the right circles I guess. Today is our big day for finding someone to help us, at least the day of surgery at a minimum. I'll let you know how it goes! Oh, my surgery is 3/13 so I have a full week to finalize things.


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