I promised I would come back and write..

Hello Ladies in Waiting...

I promised when I was writing here that I would come back from the other side and write about my experience from my point of great wisdom. [You can laugh, you don't have stiches yet...feel free!]

Here is what I learned:

1. It is perfectly reasonable to be completely obsessed before surgery. If you make your loved ones shop for three days for the perfect slippers that you wear once at the hospital that is perfectly sane.

2. On the post op board, you will hear a lot of women telling you to rest. They will tell you that this is the one chance to recover right. They will tell you also to walk. They are right. Do it. These are things you will not do during post op:

* Write that novel you have been putting off
* Sew your entire Spring wardrobe
* Lose that extra 20 pounds [okay, you might, but it's like water weight...phooey!]
* Be really funny, light hearted and entertaining to all your friends and family. You are recovering, not holding court.
* Actually keep working even though you are at home. Some women actually try. Then they cry and go lie down.

3. You will learn the difference between overdo and underdo. The main principle here is that women, by nature, never underdo. Try and remember that when you are crying because the only thing you did that day was roll over and switch channels. Rolling over and switching channels is appropriate on some days. Worry if that is all you are doing and you are 3 months post op. Otherwise, don't worry about it.

4. Pain is individual. Take the medication you need, and take it consistently, as directed. That is how pain pills work. If you try to tough it out, and get in a lot of pain, then it takes a few rounds before you get things under control again. We know from chronic pain studies that almost no one gets addicted from pain pills...especially for the few weeks or so you will be needing them. Cross addiction fears off your worry list.

5. It is simply okay if the kids eat cheeseburgers for three days in a row, and the laundry does not get done for two weeks. If you have a partner that does not help, that does not mean you can carry laundry or vaccuum. If it is bigger than a soup can, don't lift it for as long as your doctor says NOT TO LIFT for. See if the laundry can reach the ceiling before the dustballs do. And don't get upset about it.

6. You may be moody. Let me define moody. In exactly 30 seconds you will be able to go from meltdown to happyasalark. This may make others think you have really lost it. This may make you think you have really lost it. You have not. It is normal, and it gets better.

7. You will want to have sex again. You will be scared. Your orgasms may change, and change back to the way they were before. If your partner is pushy and you don't feel ready, you will get LOTS of support on the post op board. Actually, you can get quite trashy there and no one seems to mind! Most partners are pretty good, but if yours is not you DO have a place to whine about it!

8. It's wierd, but sometimes week three or four seems worse than week one or two. I am not sure why, but I suspect that it is because we overdo [see number3] and/or we are just tired of recovery and scared about re-entering the real world again. Again, feel free to complain and fuss. That is what is wonderful about the post op board. Lots of tea and sympathy.

9. You will overpack for the hospital. You will use three things of all the things you pack. No matter, packing keeps you busy and distracts you from the "golightly day". Who came up with THAT name????

10. Write on the post op board. You will be so glad you did. There are wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, women there and you will get a lot of compassion and advice there. Oh yeah, if you do get help, slip Kathy a few bucks. This site has saved lives....and a lot of heartache.

Finally, feel free to try and make other people with stiches laugh. Hey, it's just good clean fun! Do remember though that sitting is an activity...even sitting at your computer!

Good luck ladies....Hold hands and take the leap. I will tell you that for me, life after the hysterectomy is SO MUCH BETTER than life before the hysterectomy. Finally, after five years of anemia, I have energy. You will recover too.
You will be fine.

Take care, and all the best!

PS: My surgery was November 14th. Today I walked five miles on the treadmill. You WILL return to your normal activities....really!

Terfemme, Thanks! What a great post! Carolyn

I want to echo Carolyn - GREAT POST! They say attitude is everything and your writing reflects your genuinely positive approach to this whole thing. I plan to read your post regularly as I recover. Thanks for taking the time to encourage those of us waiting! Jane

Beautifully written terfemme!

You covered the pre & post-op experience perfectly : )

Paige
LSH/BSO
9/22/00

and I agree life is grand post-op I continue to marvel even at 4 months post-op just how good I feel!

Thanks for the post. I go to the castle on Tuesday (1/23) so it's good to hear that there will be life again!

Thanks for all the kind comments. I think coming back to the pre op board and letting people know your opinion is part of paying back from all the support I got here and on the post op board.

Oh, I did forget one TINY item. Buy your Gas-X BEFORE you go to surgery. It is not pleasant to wait for someone to go to the store. Some things I learned the really hard way.

Best wishes and prayers for all of you,

How beautifully said! That is worthy of print, and deserves to be placed in a beautiful frame. It is something all LIW and princesses need to keep on their nightstands. thanks!

Love,
Ami

Hello, I work in a "pre-op" department at a hospital. I "teach" patients what to expect pre and post op. I always thought I did a good job. Now that I have had a hyst I know I am doing a good job. I can tell patients what to expect as well as differences many people experience (thanks to all these ladies here) I am truly thankful for this site to help and to empower women while they prepare and recover from their surgeries!!! Everyone heals and recovers differently, and this range of experiences is truly helpful for women. My major bit of advice is similar to terfemme's....don't make big expectations of yourself...don't plan on reading lots of novels,updating photo books, writing letters....just concentrate on taking care of yourself........and IT IS OK to watch TV, and just hang out!!! best to everyone!!! Laurie