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I thought I was ok with this.
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09-30-2019, 05:31 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: September 16th, 2019
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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I thought I was ok with this.
This is my first post. So I had a hysterectomy on September 16th due to family history of cervical cancer and precancerous cells on my cervix. I was fine with it, or so I thought. I have 2 children and had no desire to have more. Now I'm kind of losing my stuff. It's been 2 weeks and now that the option is gone it hurts. All I want to do is have a good cathartic cry but I don't seem able to. Like I've listened to songs that always make me cry and I feel the need like all the time but the tears won't come. I just feel like there's something wrong with me.
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09-30-2019, 08:42 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 264
Hysterectomy: September 23rd, 2019
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: I thought I was ok with this.
I have 6 kids and still am trying to process. We are still in the healing stage. Sometime I think we go numb when we are working through painful things. Our bodies just put it on the backburner until we can deal with it. You had to have this done. It is a season and it will pass. Taking healing time and allowed yourself to grieve or whatever you need, when you are ready. Don't push yourself right now for all of the answers. Rest,eat well, and just wait the rest will come.
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11-16-2019, 07:07 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 9
Hysterectomy: November 4th, 2019
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I thought I was ok with this.
I can relate. The decision was thought through. I have a son and a daughter. Having another would risk my babies life and mine. It wasn’t an option (especially after two previous miscarriages- I couldn’t endure further). The desire before to have children wasn’t there.
But now I am super emotional and feel like something was taken from me.
I have done some thinking on the matter and part I think is due to hormones fluctuating after a hysterectomy. And another part due to that very fact- something was taken. Even if it was gone before, there was always a ‘chance’. And even more so is the fact that we made the decision (even if there was no alternative) to have a hysterectomy and feel responsible for our own loss.
Maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but I think it may be for me.
I’m 32 years old. Had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy. Left the ovaries.
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11-17-2019, 12:09 AM
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Posts: 2
Hysterectomy: October 28th, 2019
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Re: I thought I was ok with this.
I can identify. I have had all my babies but I was still ovulating and they took my ovaries too. And now thats it. Never another child. One of my son's died 6 years ago and he's been on my mind so much.
I also feel like I need to bawl my eyes out, but can't.
Love and sympathy
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11-17-2019, 06:29 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 3
Hysterectomy: August 14th, 2003
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: I thought I was ok with this.
I know that you will eventually get over the feelings you are experiencing....I'm nearly 20 years post op having had a hysterectomy just three weeks after finding out I had cervical cancer. I wasn't yet 30, was just 9 months in to the relationship with the man of my dreams and I hadn't yet had the chance to start a family. Twenty years on we are still together, we have a great life in Scotland on our farm surrounded by our animals and dogs and I joke to people that the animals are our family...but obviously it's not the same and it's what, on blue days such as today, brings me back to this forum. Count your blessings Mums that you had the chance to have some babies. xxx
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11-17-2019, 11:19 AM
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Posts: 2
Hysterectomy: October 28th, 2019
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I thought I was ok with this.
You are so right, Gillian. That must have absolutely rocked your world on it's axis. What a shock. I'm glad you've gone on to lead such a full life. Thanks for your reality check. Love to you
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11-26-2019, 09:08 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 211
Hysterectomy: March 14th, 2018
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: I thought I was ok with this.
I’m what, 20 months post op? Ish. My youngest was 10 years old when I went in knowing I really had no choice in keeping or losing my uterus. It fell out a lot. But I felt robbed of the potential oops kid, the one more got taken away. Now, I am grateful to have the pain behind me.
At the time, I mourned the loss of a part of me I hadn’t realized I equated with my womanhood. It felt like I lost a piece of my identity. I mean, a period and pregnancy were pieces of my rites of passage as a female. It took a dear friend, a sister by choice to tell me how ridiculous, yet valid my feelings were. I definitely went through a huge perspective adjustment and came to terms with losing a literal piece of me. I’m thankful for this space to connect to so many amazing women going through the toughest things together. Hang in there. You’ll come through it.
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02-04-2020, 10:57 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 53
Hysterectomy: June 11th, 2018
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: I thought I was ok with this.
It's been a rough couple of months. I started having pain shortly after my hysterectomy that turned out to be an ovarian cyst. The cyst came out of nowhere post-hyst and grew super fast. Just 15 months after the first surgery I was back in the operating room having my left ovary and a tangerine-sized cyst removed. Now it's just me and Righty.
My husband and I went through counseling before the hysterectomy. We made intentional choices, knowing we would never have children. We were ok. But now I just seem to keep losing myself piece by piece. I see my beautiful nephew join our family and ache that I'll never have that experience. My husband tries to understand, but he just can't. I'm no longer ok with this but it can't be undone. I don't miss the pain and struggle, but I miss the possibility of experiencing my womanhood to it's fullest.
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02-08-2020, 05:46 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 115
Hysterectomy: July 16th, 2019
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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I thought I was ok with this.
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve tried to explain to other people that somehow this loss equated to sad feelings about motherhood.
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02-08-2020, 05:49 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 115
Hysterectomy: July 16th, 2019
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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I thought I was ok with this.
I truly wish that there was mandatory counseling or at least some support before and after for the emotional effects of this surgery. The emotional was much more difficult for me than the physical.
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