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No more children......is he sure?
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06-09-2005, 11:08 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: June 20th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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No more children......is he sure?
I have 2 children. One with and one before my husband. I'm 36, my husband is 34, how did your spouse handle knowing that the two of you will never have children together? I know in my heart that I don't want anymore but I worry that my husband will want another even though he has told me more then enough times that he doesn't. I feel it's one thing to "not" want anymore but something entirely different when you "can't" have anymore. The closer I get to my surgery date (June 20th) the more I think about it.
Kim
TAH-BSO
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06-09-2005, 11:52 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 584
Hysterectomy: June 21st, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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No more children......is he sure?
Kim;
I am 45; our decision to not have any more children was made 16 years ago when my tubes were tied after our youngest was born.
And I agree with you it is totally different after the surgery. The feeling of " I don't want anymore" to " I can't have anymore" is different.
Even to this day my husband brings it up that another child would be nice. On these occassions of dilusion of grandure he has I remind myself of the diapers, illnesses, bottles, mess kids make, etc etc etc and then look at our life now and know I made the right decission years ago.
Ces.
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06-09-2005, 12:10 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 194
Hysterectomy: January 24th, 2005
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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No more children......is he sure?
I am 40 and my husband is 35. I had 2 children when we met and we have 1 together. My husband had a vasectomy after the birth of our son so the hysterectomy wasn't an issue. But we had to have this discussion when he had his vas. It was a hard decision but we have never regretted it. Hope you can come to a place of peace about this.
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06-09-2005, 01:06 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 247
Hysterectomy: June 13th, 2005
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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No more children......is he sure?
This is a tough one and you are right there is a definate difference between can't and don't. I had a tubal ligation 8 years ago when I was 24 and even though it was a choice that I made I still went through a period of depression just knowing I no longer could have children.
I think you need to give your spouse credit though, if he is telling you he is okay with this decision you need to trust that he is telling you the truth, chances are he would rather have you and your health anyday and is perfectly happy to cherish the children that you already have. Just a hunch that I have
Peace to you!
Aimee
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06-10-2005, 06:52 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 60
Hysterectomy: June 14th, 2005
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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No more children......is he sure?
I know it is a hard decision. We had to have the "talk" about 5 years ago after our second dd was born. See I have high blood pressure and had to be taken off the pill. My dh said that he was done after 2 and it was me who had to come to grips with it.
Well, after I had to be put on blood pressure medicine at 31, I came home and told my dh that I had to go off the pill and he said ok, I guess I have to make an appointment. It hurt but I realized that I can not have any more because of my health and if I go off the meds I am at stroke level within a few days.
I finally prayed about it and decided that I have two beatiful and healthy kids that God gave me. Which is more than some people.
Now that my surgery is less than a week away, I look at moms with little ones and say Thank You, I do not have to worry about strollers, diapers, etc any more. My cousins are still having little ones so I get my "fix" that way and I am happy that I am not "chasing" mine any more.
I am always tring to look at the bright side, plus now I do not will not have to worry about planning my schedule around "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH" .
Good Luck! I know it is hard just pray about it. That always helps me.
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