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Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

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  #1  
Unread 08-06-2020, 06:45 PM
Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

So my surgery is on the 14th. My fiance, who is a nurse, knows that the surgery is needed, but he does not understand the necessary changes and recovery issues that may arise. Men do not seem to ever understand a woman's body. I want to have a smooth recovery, and I am looking for any help possible. Right now, I know I will not drive for at least one week and have weight restrictions for at least 6 weeks. Has anyone encountered a stubborn significant other, and if so, how did you manage?
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  #2  
Unread 08-06-2020, 07:20 PM
Re: Advice

What changes and recovery issues doesn't he understand? You could take him to your pre-op appointment and let the Dr. explain it to him. I couldn't drive for at least 2 weeks. You'll have lifting and sex restrictions probably for 6 weeks. But there's other little things that you won't be able to do well for a while. Like bending, cleaning, etc. etc. Have you explained to him that if you do those things it could jeopardize your healing? I'm really surprised since he's a nurse that he doesn't understand this.
  #3  
Unread 08-06-2020, 07:28 PM
Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

I would say that is more of a nurse with practice emotionally detaching from patients (a survival tactic of sorts). My sister is a nurse and when I talk about my fears and anxiety about surgery, she almost becomes mechanical in her response. It is also a really stressful time for everyone in healthcare. Just keep being honest about how you feel and what you need. I bought the hystermister book and emailed it to my BF. I dont know if he read it but his demeanor is more sensitive and supportive now ( not that he wasn't already supportive).


  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissa06 View Post
So my surgery is on the 14th. My fiance, who is a nurse, knows that the surgery is needed, but he does not understand the necessary changes and recovery issues that may arise. Men do not seem to ever understand a woman's body. I want to have a smooth recovery, and I am looking for any help possible. Right now, I know I will not drive for at least one week and have weight restrictions for at least 6 weeks. Has anyone encountered a stubborn significant other, and if so, how did you manage?
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  #4  
Unread 08-06-2020, 08:01 PM
Re: Advice

Hi Lissa06 -

I am surprised he is so ignorant about just how major this surgery is. I read that the only surgery that is more major is open heart surgery. I bet he would not expect a patient that had open heart surgery to jump out of bed and be 100% the next day. You will need help with cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, shopping, driving, etc. You will not be bedridden, but you will need to rest much. You will be able to do minor items around the house, but much will be left undone - like house cleaning. You will take brief but frequent walks, as these help you heal. He will need to help out to keep the household running.

I could not drive for 3 weeks. I had lifting restrictions: 10 lbs for 6 weeks and 20 lbs for 8 weeks. I was on total pelvic rest for 6 weeks: no intercourse, no outercourse, total rest. We even tried at 6 weeks and it was way too painful so we waited another 2 weeks. My DH handled all of the cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. for about 4 weeks.

Here is an article that may help provide information:
Frustrated with Non-Supportive Family and Friends before Hysterectomy


Hopefully between the doctor, this article and the embedded website in the article he will come around.

  #5  
Unread 08-06-2020, 08:03 PM
Re: Advice

Mine was extra cautious and kept telling me to stop doing things. Its difficult to understand how serious this operation is but a nurse should know, i would think? Even 8-12 weeks is still needed to recover and my doctor said 6 months i will be fully recovered.
  #6  
Unread 08-06-2020, 11:02 PM
Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

My fiance is a surgical recovery nurse, who sees patients of all sorts after their surgery. For him, however, he only sees a patient for up to 2 hours. He believes that I am overreacting when it comes to all my preparations. I do believe that once he hears from my surgeon post-op, his attitude will be changing. He works 2 jobs, and he will only be with me the day of and the day after, and then he will not be home for a few days, which will make it nice because I won't have his high expectations hanging over me. On a side note, he did buy me a grabber to use. He was unable to attend my pre-op appointment with me, but I have talked to my surgeons nurse about his lack of post-op restriction knowledge and asked if they could stress the importance of those restrictions and she will let him know.
  #7  
Unread 08-07-2020, 12:33 PM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

What kind of preparations, issues etc. are you referring to?
  #8  
Unread 08-07-2020, 04:29 PM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

  Quote:
Originally Posted by GPMS View Post
What kind of preparations, issues etc. are you referring to?
For instance, things above the counter, as to not bend over and clothes that will fit a little looser. I have been trying to make sure things are picked up and in away I do not have to do any heavy lifting. Also, since my doctor said I would not be able to drive at least one week, possibly longer, I have asked my dad to help me with that part.
  #9  
Unread 08-07-2020, 08:59 PM
Upcoming hysterectomy 8/14: Advice

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissa06 View Post
For instance, things above the counter, as to not bend over and clothes that will fit a little looser. I have been trying to make sure things are picked up and in away I do not have to do any heavy lifting. Also, since my doctor said I would not be able to drive at least one week, possibly longer, I have asked my dad to help me with that part.
I understand that surgery can be stressful and you need to be prepared, like we should be if possible, but bear in mind that recovering from a hysterectomy does not mean you’ll be disabled. I was able to function fine alone, within the few restrictions (weight limit, no bath, no sex) fine.
Things like no binding for example are not restricted for most
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