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I chickened out last minute... I chickened out last minute...

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  #1  
Unread 07-08-2020, 09:48 AM
I chickened out last minute...

I couldn't go through with it. I was scheduled for a TAH today. I got hooked up to my IV and everything. But, I was alone because of Covid, facing two nights alone in the hospital. I know so many have done this, but I have such bad health anxiety and did not realize how bad being alone in pre-op would be.

I cried from the moment I walked into the hospital (which is even worse with a mask on!). My surgeon came in to go over things. He mentioned that he would be out of town tomorrow and Friday doing surgeries in another part of the state. That added to my anxiety because my trust in him was the number one thing keeping me going. I didn't like the idea that he'd not be there in the coming days if I had complications.

At that point I burst into tears and said I don't know if I can do this. He immediately sat down with me and said we should postpone if I'm not ready. He said it's elective (my giant fibroids) and I should wait if I was unsure. He said we should talk in a few weeks and find a time when he'll be there the entire time and when my husband can be with me. He thinks visitors will be allowed in the coming months.

Honestly, I still don't know if it was the right choice. I'm so tired if these fibroids, but the surgery was my idea, no one pushed me to it. With Covid I feel like I didn't spend as much time preparing. I haven't had ant imagine since last summer, I didn't get any other opinion (though my surgeon is one of the best in the country and I'd almost certain pick him in the end), and I never even had another visit with him after my original consult in January.

The timing was so bad. I finally felt ready to schedule surgery the second week of January (for May when my school finished) and then Covid hit a few weeks later.

I'm blabbing on, but this was a really hard day. Did anyone else back out last minute? It just didn't feel right being alone. Ugh.
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  #2  
Unread 07-08-2020, 10:57 AM
Re: I chickened out last minute...

Yup I backed out 2 weeks before my scheduled surgery. I was unsure about it and I was needed at home with very little help during the summer months. I had to pay a $200.00 cancellation fee and go see the Dr for a consultation before it was cancelled. My symptoms seemed to be a lot less from the fibroids in terms of bleeding non stop before. She assured me I would be back so tentatively scheduled me for Jan 2020. By November I was back at her office and confirming that yes indeed the symptoms were back and I was now ready to go ahead with it. All went well in Jan 2020 and I am sooooo glad I waited the first time to just make sure I needed it and was ready for it. Good Luck and don't feel guilty!!
  #3  
Unread 07-08-2020, 11:05 AM
I chickened out last minute...

Thank you! I think everything kind of rushed along because of Covid. I felt ready when I scheduled. I schedule way in advance because of the sugeon I wanted but planned to spend the intervening months getting healthier and even maybe getting additional opinions but then Covid happened. So, I didn't see any other doctors or get any new scans, etc... And I spent the months stressed out balancing work, law school, and homeschooling my kindergartner... Plus being overwhelmed with general stress and sadness from the pandemic!

I didn't realize what a bad mental place I was in until I got there today.
  #4  
Unread 07-08-2020, 12:42 PM
Re: I chickened out last minute...

Take it one day at a time and unless it is urgent things are not really going to change to much in a few months. Work through one problem at a time and then you can make that final decision whether it be a go or not at all. DO NOT feel guilty it is your life, mental health, your circumstances and ultimately your choice!
  #5  
Unread 07-08-2020, 01:41 PM
Re: I chickened out last minute...

I almost backed out but I knew I really need the surgery. I had never had any medical issues before, not even stitches or a broken bone. I had my surgery at a surgical center so its just 2 nurses and 2 surgeons and a few office staff. Very quiet and calm. Anyway, i had to go in alone, my mom dropped me off but couldnt walk me inside. I cried from the moment I went up the elevator to the moment where I remember nothing. My surgeon held my hand as I cried. They took 30 minutes to get an IV in me, I was about ready to say stop its not working. But I didnt. Finally they got it in. I have teeny tiny veins so its a tricky job with me.

The worst part of the whole thing was taking my clothes off and putting on this paper gown and a hospital cap on my head and the non slip socks. I knew that this was it, no turning back. Things were real!

When I woke up it was the best feeling of my life! I was alive! They let my mom come in to see me. That was a nice surprise!

I am so happy I did it!! The best decision of my life. Mine wasnt elective, I really need it to almost an emergency point because my ovaries could have twisted and I was in a lot of pain with every period. When the pain started to be there continuously even when i wasnt on my period, I knew something was wrong.

I could have backed out but I chose not to and I am really happy that I went through with it. I hope that me being as scared as you are helps you feel that you are not alone.
  #6  
Unread 07-08-2020, 07:12 PM
Re: I chickened out last minute...

Hi erinkc -

You made exactly the right move. If you are not ready, you are not ready and that is okay. Take some time, relax, get back to your life and do not worry about it. You will know when the time is right for you.

We will be here when you want to have your surgery.

  #7  
Unread 07-08-2020, 10:14 PM
Re: I chickened out last minute...

I'm sorry for how this played out for you. I would have been quite alarmed if my surgeon told me minutes before the operation that he wouldn't be in town to follow up with me. I think you made the right decision. If you do end up rescheduling you'll know it's the best thing for you at that time.
  #8  
Unread 07-09-2020, 04:25 AM
Re: I chickened out last minute...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by erinkc View Post
I couldn't go through with it. I was scheduled for a TAH today. I got hooked up to my IV and everything. But, I was alone because of Covid, facing two nights alone in the hospital. I know so many have done this, but I have such bad health anxiety and did not realize how bad being alone in pre-op would be.

I cried from the moment I walked into the hospital (which is even worse with a mask on!). My surgeon came in to go over things. He mentioned that he would be out of town tomorrow and Friday doing surgeries in another part of the state. That added to my anxiety because my trust in him was the number one thing keeping me going. I didn't like the idea that he'd not be there in the coming days if I had complications.

At that point I burst into tears and said I don't know if I can do this. He immediately sat down with me and said we should postpone if I'm not ready. He said it's elective (my giant fibroids) and I should wait if I was unsure. He said we should talk in a few weeks and find a time when he'll be there the entire time and when my husband can be with me. He thinks visitors will be allowed in the coming months.

Honestly, I still don't know if it was the right choice. I'm so tired if these fibroids, but the surgery was my idea, no one pushed me to it. With Covid I feel like I didn't spend as much time preparing. I haven't had ant imagine since last summer, I didn't get any other opinion (though my surgeon is one of the best in the country and I'd almost certain pick him in the end), and I never even had another visit with him after my original consult in January.

The timing was so bad. I finally felt ready to schedule surgery the second week of January (for May when my school finished) and then Covid hit a few weeks later.

I'm blabbing on, but this was a really hard day. Did anyone else back out last minute? It just didn't feel right being alone. Ugh.
It is always your body and your choice. If your situation was bad enough, you probably would have gone through with it. I hope I may be able to ease your mind when your decide to go ahead some some in the future. I was so scared out of my mind leading up to my surgery. I have never been so terrified in all my life, never having any surgery at 65. I was scared of the procedure, not waking up, the recovery, the pain - so may things. In the end, mine was to save my life because of a cancer diognosis. There were no other options for me. I am happy to say everything has been so easy with very little pain or any other symptoms during my recovery. When I was unsure if things were normal, the Hyster sisters assured me everything was going fine and I even made some new friends in my recovery group. It was not always comfortable but now I am cancer free and relieved. I know we all heal differently and at different rates but many have said it was no where near as scary as our imagination lets us believe. I have another major surgery coming up in a few months and am no longer scared like I would have been although the next one may not be as easy as this one was but if I had not had this done, I would not even have been considered for this next one. Good luck with whatever decision you make. Dont load yourself up with guilt and try to find ways to help you relax when you become stressed.
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