TAH: pre op appointment tomorrow

Ok I'm nervous Ill admit it. Through alot of hard work on the office girl of my primary care doctor. I got a referral to gyn/onc at loma linda. I have total faith in his abilities as a surgeon but after speaking to him on the phone I have serious doubts about his willingness to do what I want him to do, which is only removing the 12.2 cm cyst and most likely my left ovary. He has made comments to the tune of "if I see the other ovary is diseased" ( the cannot be seen but requires pathology of the cyst) which only 2% of dermoids are cancerous. "Cancer of the ovaries and uterus are not hereditary" and you have a few days to think this over this was said with a condescending tone.
I have no other problems other than pain from cyst mushing things periods are normal no pain during sex etc.all blood work is normal.I'm exhausted but believe this is the cyst only causing this it has been there growing for at least 8 yearsgaunung size to cause mobility issues in the last year like I'm six months pregnant basically. I know he is going to continue insisting I have TAH tomorrow I am completely against this as I do not see the point in removing healthy parts as a preventive measure I am 41 yrs old and married to my husband for only 2.5 years I am not willing to give up my quality of life to appease the doctor in his ease of surgery or monetary compensation I don't want to have to look for another Dr at this point as getting the refferal approved with the ins. Co. But if I have any doubt he is going to do more than I ask. I really have no choice but to find a different Dr. He is older and a professor set in his ways type but I don't understand why he is so ****ed insistant on a total hysterectomy when there is no basis for me needing it. Any thoughts or advise you may be able to give Mr would be appreciated greatly.

If you are certain that he is going to attempt a removal of the uterus and/or both ovaries, I would definitely bring it up to him, during your visit. Do you have a cell phone? If you do, you may have a recording program on your phone, and you could record your conversation with your physician, just let him know that you are recording questions and answers so you don't forget anything.
In my opinion, I would definitely make certain that he understands that he is only giving permission to treat one ovary with the probability of removing that ovary. That you have had no menstrual problems that would require removing your uterus, and that you are concerned he would attempt removing healthy tissue and organs, without you being able to say/do anything to prevent it (at the time of the surgery)
I would be very adamant that you do NOT want a total hysterectomy! This IS your decision, please don't feel as if he is pushing you into something as final as a hysterectomy. If he will not back off of it, maybe it would be best to get another opinion from a different doctor?

I have pre-op today, too. I wish you much luck!

My thoughtsexactly even considered writing it on my stomach with a Sharpie before surgery which my regular doc thought was positively hilariousand a great idea he said. Thank You for the conformation it is si difficult to get people to understand the effects of hysterectomy and I am old schooldont talk about girl stuff kind of person really had to drop thatfor a min When I explained the after effects to my husband who suddenly remembered someone he went out with as a friend years earlier who explained to him she had absolutely no desires not even to kiss anyone let alone anything else due to her surgery and the poor girl was only 25 I can't even imagine that really. Needless to say the Did will get nowhere if he attempts to recruit my husband to pressure me into anything.
My thoughts are with you as well that everything goes well for you and Thank-you again

A couple of thoughts:

If I were you, I'd definitely ask why the need for a hysterectomy and I would make sure he explained it thoroughly. As I've heard on here many times, why remove healthy organs? There are doctors who may do things like that as a matter of procedure, but if it doesn't feel right for you and your body, definitely question it, and take some time to think about it if you can and see what decision "feels" right to you. Getting an opinion from another doctor too sounds like a really good idea. I know we're not really supposed to mention doctors on here, but you may see if there is a healthcare system near you affiliated with a medical school. They will tend to be more up-to-date on the latest techniques, especially less invasive ones. Most likely they will be less inclined to do procedures "because it's time" or "because you won't really need that organ". If treatments are experimental, your insurance may not cover. FYI.

I know what you mean about older male doctors and the way they act towards patients. I know not all are like this but... I used to see a gyno. who would examine me and then we would meet in his office during my appointment. He sat behind his tremendous desk and I sat in a tiny little chair for the followup discussion. I was in college then. Some doctors think that's just how things are done but you can do things to feel less intimidated in that situation. Having questions written down helps, so does having an "advocate" with you: a good friend, your husband, a family member: someone who understands your concerns and maybe can talk about them more easily than you. It was really hard for me to ask about sexual repercussions, but I did. I remember reading somewhere also to dress professionally for dr. appointments: not comfy workout clothes but something you might wear if you worked in an office setting because that shows the doc that you take your health seriously. Some have suggested that tape recording the appointment is helpful for letting the doctor know you are serious and also so you can review and have anything not remembered/written down during your visit. All of these things can help you be a stronger advocate for yourself when dealing with someone who might have an intimidating influence on you.

Good luck finding care that is good for you!