TAH: 32 y/o single without kids, need support for total abdominal hysterectomy with BSO

This is my first post to this forum. I am 32 years old and have been struggling with my periods since I was 11. Unfortunately, I did not have a mom that was real involved so I didn't have anybody to go to about these problems and just suffered through them. I guess since my mom didn't talk with me about "girl stuff" then I thought that there was something wrong and shameful about it. So, I grew up not talking about my body or what was going on with it. This continued through high school and college, and as the time went by-my pain got worse. I would suffer from severe cramping, heavy bleeding and nausea/vomiting. I would miss work or school because of my monthly cycles, and it was completely not like me to miss work or school.

In 2009 I was blessed to meet a woman that could take on a motherly role in my life. It took a couple of years, but in 2011 I finally started talking about the problems that I was having. Of course, she told me what I already knew and that was that I needed to go to a gyn. As we were talking about it, I literally had a panic attack. Fortunately, I got to the point where I thought I could go and I did. It was hard, but again I was blessed with a wonderful doctor.

The first line of treatment (July 2011) that we did was a birth control pill. I guess this is where I should add that I have never been in a relationship or sexually active. The birth control pills ended up making me severely depressed, so she took me off of them. She then tried my on a drug called Lysteda (Fall 2011). It's a type of drug that makes your blood clot more so that you don't bleed as much. You only have to take it during your cycle, so it's not something I was on all of the time. After a few cycles of being on this med, I ended up having problems with my heart rate and they thought that I had either a pulmonary embolism or blood clot in my heart (Feb 2012). Luckily the symptoms resolved and nothing was found, but it meant that I could no longer take Lysteda.

After trying these meds, the gyn ended up doing a transvaginal ultrasound and that showed endometrial polyps. So in March 2012, I underwent a hysteroscopy D&C, and endometrial polypectomy. To be honest, I can't remember how well it worked, In August 2012 though, the symptoms were bad enough again to do something about them and I had a Mirena IUD inserted. The insertion was very painful and I ended up having severe cramping afterwards. It ended up that I developed an ovarian cyst within 2 weeks of having it inserted and had to have a laparoscopy to drain the cyst. During the laparoscopy, they found that I had endometriosis on my left ovary and ureter. The doctor was able to remove the endometriosis on the ovary, but had to leave the endometriosis on the ureter because it would be too dangerous to remove.

Following the laparoscopy, my symptoms dramatically improved. I felt great even though I had just had surgery. I ended up feeling good for about a year and then I started having the heavy bleeding again. I went back to the gyn in August 2013 and they did and ultrasound and it showed that the IUD had pushed itself into my cervix, therefore it was removed. The gyn was really at a loss of what to do next, so she ended up sending me to a reproductive endocrinologist. After several trips to him, we finally agreed that another laparoscopy was the best option.

In Jan. 2014, I underwent my second laparoscopy. I had multiple adhesions and an adhesive band on one of my ligaments. I had deep, penetrating endometriosis both on my tube and ovary and it was removed. Recovery from this laparoscopy was much different than the first. I was very sore. I have had two periods since that time and they are just as bad as they were before surgery.

So, that takes me to last week. I met with my gyn to discuss options and we agreed that it would be best to proceed with a TAH-BSO. In some ways, it is a relief to know that I don't have to continue to suffer, but in other ways it is really hard. My thoughts range from knowing that a TAH-BSO is not a cure for endometriosis so what if it doesn't help to feeling selfish in knowing that I am choosing my own quality of life over fertility. I do feel like though that I have tried so many different things with minimal results, so it is time to do something more definitive.

Right now, I am set to have surgery next month. My support network is pretty small, so that is why I am reaching out on this website. I would appreciate any words of encouragement or support. Thanks in advance.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Never feel guilty for wanting relief over fertility! I wasn't happy to have cancer, but was happy to never have to deal with heavy periods, fibroids, terrible PMS, etc. If you are happy about the relief, keep that in mind and stay happy! I personally never had a problem with the thought of not having children because my husband and I only ever wanted to adopt, so I can't say I understand that grief, but I know it can be upsetting for some. I wish I could say something to make it better. I hope everything goes well for you...you deserve a break!

Hon, in the end, EVERYTHING is a quality-of-life decision. You're on this Earth once, and for what ends up feeling like a fairly short time when you look back on it. There is NOTHING selfish about wanting to feel healthy enough to spend that short time effectively.

I know what your feeling...but it sounds like you have had quite the journey with this...I had a TAH Bso four days ago. I don't regret it. I have PcoS And they found uterine cancer so I had to have it removed. Im glad its gone hopefully cancer didn't spread dr says it didn't look like it. Do what is best for you. Im here if you need to ask any questions.

I had my hysterectomy March 13th, I turned 32 on the 28th and I have no kids as well. In Nov I found out I had uterine cancer, so to be on the safe side i had everything removed. My oncologist wanted to do medication therapy and lifestyle change (me to lose weight) but after research, i felt it wouldnt work and wanted the surgery. Ive always wanted children, but i felt even if meds worked and i had children..what if later on in life it came back worse..and my child would have to experience all the pain..so like you i chose life over fertility. Ive kinda comes to term with it, but it still hurts...but im thankful i caught the cancer early. I kinda thought i would feel less than a woman. It annoys me when im asked if im happy that ill never have a period again..and its bittersweet. But, as the days go by..it gets easier. I pray that you find peace and the nerves ease. We only get one life and we have to do what is best. Take care and sending you hugs!

I am 47 years old. I have never been able to get pregnant or have children. Off and on throughout my life that has bothered me or not. First of all, and most important, as your post indicates, a hysterectomy with or without oophorectomy is NOT a cure for endometriosis. It is possible that if you make the trip to see an endometriosis speecialist, you may not need a hysterectomy at all. It is not all about preserving fertility here, it is about quality of life as well, and I know how it feels to really need help as I have been there with horrible endo pain. However, a doctor, not just an ob/gyn (who specializes in delivering babies) who specializes in treating endometriosis is your best bet of getting and staying endo and pain free. It is possible without a hysterectomy! For me, I waited too long. I was 45 when I was diagnosed with endo. Even if your uterus cannot be saved, you really need to keep your ovaries as they do more than produce hormones and ova. The hormones they produce keep your body healthy. Doing HRT with endo is difficult (I've been there). I suggest you visit our Endo support forum and read all our Endometriosis Support Articles. We have come a long way from the belief that removing the female reproductive organs will keep endo away. That's actually not even a true statement. At your age, you need to seek out a specialist who may be able to save your fertility and also provide you with relief from your pain and symptoms. I wish you the very best.

Hi,
I Think Elsie pretty much said it all. I just wanted to hop on the hysterectomy is not a cure for endo bandwagon, and also to tell you my experience.

I had two lap's prior to my hysterectomy to remove endo. I also went on every BC imaginable. What I did not do, and wish I had, was go see an endo specialist. By the time I made my way to this forum/website, my hysterectomy was like a week away. A lot of ladies on here told me the same thing your hearing...but...I had already had a second opinion and that DR said go for hysterectomy and removal of both ovaries, I was desperate for relief from the awful pain, and I believed my DR's knew best. I was 29 (now I am turning 32). I always wanted children, had tried to conceive and was unable, and it was/is something I really struggled with.

About 6 months after my surgery (which was hard for me, and involved a long recovery), I started to get that old familiar pain back. I tried to deny it for a long time. Then I tried to ignore it. Then I said, well I will put off surgery as long as I possibly can. Now I have finally reached out to an endo specialist (just this week), and he has recommended another lap to take a look-see. So, I had an LAVH (lap assisted vaginal hysterectomy) & BSO, struggled through recovery, and now have all kinds of other health issues because my hormones are a mess, and I might have endo again despite all this. I might have some other issue too, I wont know until the DR gets in there (if I can afford him). But even if I don't end up having endo again, there are lots of ladies on this forum that have had to have multiple laps for endo after their hysterectomy. It's really not a fun position to be in. Please try to see an endo specialist if at all possible.