TVH: Wish I could take my DH's advice and not worry so much......

Sigh....my name is Kathy....and I am a worrier....

I'm very fortunate....my DH has been very understanding lately about my upcoming surgery, my recovery, etc.... In the beginning though, when I first told him, he asked me if I would be off "for like a week or so"....he had no clue what was involved in my TVH or the other repairs I'm having done (cystocele/rectocele repair).

We've talked more and more about it and he's really come around. I think our men just don't want to see us in pain...it scares them....they feel out of control just like we do and don't know how to handle it....don't know what to do to help us.

Anyway, I emailed him today saying that I'm really starting to feel anxious and scared. My surgery is on March 13th. I'm worried about how I will feel when I "come to", how bad the pain will be, how I will recover, will I ever be the same in lots of different ways, etc....everything is out of my control. I told him everytime I look of my office window at work I'm looking right at the hospital....it's like it's waving at me saying, "See you soon!!".....I'm not crazy am I??

This was his respone:

"I can understand being a little bit anxious about the surgery. Like I've been saying all along though, there is just nothing to be gained by worry too much about it or being scared. There is no reason to expect anything but smooth sailing, textbook surgery and comfortable recovery. If it doesn't end up working out exactly like that, we'll just deal with it, but even if that's the case, nothing will have been gained by worrying about it in advance.

I know that's easy for me to say, but it's really the truth, and the more you can think that way the better off you'll be!"

His words are very true. I will not benefit one single bit by worrying.....so why do I worry then? Probably, because I'm a worrier by nature!!

I just want to get this over with. Then I can worry about something else!!

Thanks for listening, ladies!!

Awwwww. Kathy you are so dear.
I was /am still a worrier,
It's mind boggling how little men KNOW about this, but, who cares.
I was scared silly until today, Today I decided I am going through with this Up to now I had thoughts of cancelling.
I don't care any more,, I am going to get this done.
For me, it will be a VACATION !!!!!
(smile)
I'm 55 pre cancer, and I definately Feel heaviness, down yonder.
It's now or never,
You will be fine You will be FINE.
I have told everyone i meet about my surgery, it just pops out,
I have a wonderful family actually PRAYING for me.
I can't tell you how much that has helped.
Thier son is pre med, he knows all of the medical terminology, I just say, "what?"
and I smile.
You know what else has helped me?
Reading the Bed Time Stories, it's here under Topics I believe.
near the bottom.
They help they really do help.
This is your time, our time, people have to realize how much we DO for them, and appreciate us Right?
I know, it is scarey, but, millions of women go through this every day.
We have to remeber why we are doing it, To feel better.
Tell the Hospital, Yep, I'm ready for you !
Have the King and his Hand Maidens ready, please!
This is my first support post, (smile) all of my other ones were cries for help !!!!!

PS- I go in March 8th a week before you.
I t does feel less worrisome as the day approaches.
ugh ! lol

my fellow worriers! Your DH is very wise and what he said is true. But you will continue to worry. It's all the unknowns and everything out of our control. I worried every detail and cried a great deal. And get this: I work in the hospital that I had my surgery at! And I wanted it kept very private which was difficult to do. When I returned to work and walked by the OR for the first time, I burst into tears. That's where I last had my uterus, which I loved because it gave me my only son. But we must soldier on. Take each day at a time, keep busy preparing yourself and you family and work. Educate yourself so you know what to expect. And don't worry about waking up in pain, you will have pain meds in your IV so you'll be ok. Hang in there and keep listening to your DH!

Hi Borgster -

I'm having my surgery the day before you, and I'm exactly where you are with the worry! I had my pre-op appointments today, and I actually burst into tears in front of my doctor. Kind of embarrassing because I hate to lose my composure. I'm worried about all the unknown things: what about the general anesthesia, what if I may have a reaction to it, what if I'm not aware of myself or what's happening around me, what about infection, what if I can't pee or pass gas right away so I can't go right home, what if what if what if??? My DH tells me the same thing yours is telling you. "Worrying's not going to change anything. It's just going to stress you out, keep you from sleeping and making you even more emotional than you already are. It's going to be fine, babe, just be brave!" Easier said than done for me, but I know he's right. Like you said, our guys just want us to be better. I hope all goes uneventfully for you - and smooth sailing afterward, too. I'll be thinking of you!

Hi Borgster -

I'm having my surgery the day before you, and I'm exactly where you are with the worry! I had my pre-op appointments today, and I actually burst into tears in front of my doctor. Kind of embarrassing because I hate to lose my composure. I'm worried about all the unknown things: what about the general anesthesia, what if I may have a reaction to it, what if I'm not aware of myself or what's happening around me, what about infection, what if I can't pee or pass gas right away so I can't go right home, what if what if what if??? My DH tells me the same thing yours is telling you. "Worrying's not going to change anything. It's just going to stress you out, keep you from sleeping and making you even more emotional than you already are. It's going to be fine, babe, just be brave!" Easier said than done for me, but I know he's right. Like you said, our guys just want us to be better. I hope all goes uneventfully for you - and smooth sailing afterward, too. I'll be thinking of you!

Thanks ladies! It's just scarier as the days get closer. I just need to think of it as 6 weeks to recover and get to know the new me. The new me who won't have cramps even when I don't have my period...the new me that won't have constant lower backaches...the new me that will look forward to having sex (that one bothers me the most). I will get through this and so will all of you ladies!!

I am a worrier, too. And, like you, I was REALLY worried prior to my surgery. My mind was a constant swirl of "what if's?" and other "fun" things. In the end, though, my worries and fears were unfounded. I had my LAVH 8 months ago, and I have to say that recovery was no where NEAR as bad as I thought it was going to be. I fully expected to wake from surgery feeling as though I'd been sawed in half! But it REALLY wasn't bad! I know that our guys just don't "get it" sometimes, but in this case your hubby is right. You will do BEAUTIFULLY, and you will feel SO much better. I promise. Hang in there! And remember that we're all here for you!