Any tips re Visitors in hospital ?

Curious about experiences having friends/family visit while you were in the hospital -
I don't want to seem unappreciative, but am getting concerned re people who say they'll come to visit.
It sounds like you're pretty out-of-it, and being as hospital-phobic as I am, am thinking of course I want DH, my 2 kids (teens) & my mom, but other family & friends I'd prefer to wait til I'm back home.
I just want to focus all of myself on getting well enough to be out that door!
Any tips ?

Hi RubySue --

I ended up with more visitors than I wanted at the hospital (a friend came with her two grown daughters, while my mom and dh were also there......and they all ended up out in the hall chatting away while I laid in the bed feeling like ) by the time they all left, and my mom was the only one left (I had sent my dh home telling him he needed to take care of our dogs) I wasn't up to any company, and finally had to tell my own mother that I really couldn't keep my eyes open and needed to rest and it might be better if she came back the next day. She understood!

Possibly you can tell friends & family (the ones that you don't want to come see you at the hospital) that you'd really appreciate their visits more if they waited til you are recovering at home, when you'll be more up to company. Many people seem to feel that a visit to a friend who's in the hospital is obligatory -- hopefully if you explain it to them in a nice way, they'll understand.

Good luck!

's

Ann
TAH/BSO 1/5/01

I did not want visitors at the hospital. I told everyone I would call them after I got home and I felt up to visitors - and when I did call them I was not shy about letting people know if I needed help with something.

I gave my teen daughter a contact list of who to call when I came out of surgery, I had already told everyone she would be calling as I would probably not be up for visitors in the hospital, everyone seemed to understand. I also told all I would give them a call once I was home and settled in and I just sorta played it by ear from there. You set the pace for your recovery, just let everyone know ahead of time what your wishes are, best wishes and take care.

Hi, I wanted visitors but ppl told me I may not later and I didn't know what they meant by this as I had never been in the hospital before.
The 2nd night I was there I had a sign out on my door stating no visitors please and gave the nurses the names of 2 ppl who I didn't mind coming.
My reason for this is I did not sleep the first night and the next day had 2 and 3 at a time and it was all too much for me. I love the ppl who bothered to come but I couldn't do it any more at that point. There was also a part of me that felt I had to be upbeat for my visitors and I just couldn't do it anymore at that point when I was feeling crappy.
The 2 ppl were ones I didn't feel I had to "put on a show" for and I was comfortable with being myself. I was just feeling too bad and wanted to rest. This was just my experience and I should add my visitors were all friends, I have no family so was no family involved. I dunno if makes a difference if it is family, but it got too mch for me and I definately see why some ppl don't have visitors now.
I also ended up having to have the phone off the hook as well. I love it ppl care and were concerned, but there was definately a point I wanted to be left alone and rest....
Hang in there!!!!!

just say no. thank you. please come visit me when i am re cooping you could take me to lunch when i am ready.
jane321

Thank you ladies, for your input! As always lately, I feel better for asking!
This is my 1st time in hospital, and the thought of "visiting" w/even the most well-meaning is beyond where I am at right now in anticipating it. Will talk w/dh & kids & ask them to help "filter" - I just want to put whatever energy I have into working with my body to get healing & get home! But will be so grateful for visits later on I'm sure!

Thank you again !

PS - to share: a friend just stopped by with a lovely basket - magazines, video rental, bn, rest.takeout cards.... she must have been reading my mind!!! She said she wanted to visit now while I'm crazed & leave the hospital time for just recovery! So sweet!

im gonna make a list of people who are welcome to visit and those who i catagorically dont want to see..lol or else i think i will be speaking my mind and upsetting some folk

the way I handled it was...I would fall asleep. When I woke up, poof they were gone!! I mean it isn't like I could help myself....

I told my friends I'd kill them if they came visiting and saw me looking that way. (I think they really _appreciated_ that, since I knew they were as hospital-phobic as I am, and OK, I admit I'm a little vain, LOL) Actually, I told very few people anything at all, as in nothing. I'm self-employed & figured it would not be too good for BIZ.
On the morning OF, when I looked around the waiting room as a roomful of people were waiting to get called to the 'back', early the morning of surgery, I saw family members hovering over the soon-to-be patients, dumping their own stress all over the place, and collectively creating a STRESS TORNADO!
I was soooo glad I had no one there that morning. I was able to hold myself well in check. I was very calm, and even tried to hide my face with my newspaper because I was biting my cheek to try not to burst out laughing at some of the DRAMA scenes unfolding.
Anyway, each to their own. If you need and want people with you, make sure they are the positive types and you'll do just fine. You're going down the stretch, and you're almost to the other side!
See you there!
Be strong, my sisters.

joano