Broken Hearted

I feel as if I am mourning.......when does it get better? My health is getting better, but what about my heart? I feel so empty right now. This changed my plans for the future, I feel lost. I know I am driving my husband crazy, but I don't feel like ME anymore. I am thankful the doctor took my sickness away, and that I wouldn't change, but now I feel as if I have to find my sense of self. Any suggestions?

I think there comes a time when we wonder if we have fulfilled all we want to do with our lives and having to have a hysterectomy seems to bring a lot of those feelings forward. I was so use to being in pain that when I wasn't, I was almost lost. It had consumed my life and I had to find something else to focuse on. My boys were grown and gone, I was ready for something but I didn't know what it was. In some ways, I'm still searching. I started taking some time for myself...... a walk around the block turned into a mile then two then three. This cleared my mind, gave me a sense of well being and a chance to think about what I had lost or had I gained? I realized that I had to cry and be sad for the loss of my womb. It was a part of me. Remember when we couldn't wait to start our period? It meant we were no longer a child.... but a woman. We stepped into a different role in life. Go ahead and cry, and if you need to seek greif counciling, then do. You are not alone in this..... it's quite normal to be lost and/or sad. Lean on us. We'll listen. You have found that truely understand.

Mamie,
AWW!!! you are not that far in your recovery hun, I felt the same way as so many of us do. Maybe you can talk to a doctor or counselor. This site is also helpful, all my sisters helped me through it. If you need to talk email me or pm me, Im here,and Im a good listener...sending 's your way...


Tracy

Hi

You are still early post op and this can be a normal part of the healing process, which is loss and grieving for many of us after this surgery.

I am sorry you are having this and I wish I could make it better for you. Unfortunately it takes time for your physical and emotional to heal and sort this all out.

I think talking about it helps as well and remember your hormones can make a difference in how you feel.

I felt this way after my surgery and it seemed to get better as I got further away from my surgery date.

Saying for you that you will feel better soon.

s

you are still a woman, I felt empty too and kind of lost, my idenity was with my uterus and it was diseased and no longer functioning...my ovaries tangled hopelessly in a mass of tissue, and adeno, causing floods at period time...all this is gone...and I am free...don't have to plan my activities around that "time" or live on painkillers and agony if I didnt take them...I feel more like myself now..I didn't at 1st...that emptiness, but I did recover, and it is eary in your recuperation, so hang in there..hon, it will feel better...and you won't believe how good you will feel in a month or even a few weeks from now..so hang in there...HUGS

((((((((Mamie))))))))))))
I am so sorry you are going through this. I have something for you to think about....I know you have always been "YOU", and you know exactly who you are, what you stand for, etc. What would make you feel whole again? What gets yer kettle boilin? as my mom would say? Any old hopes or dreams you have let by the wayside?

I ask because I felt that way. I lost my job shortly after my surgery, and that sent me for an even bigger loop, I was the position I was in. Then I remembered a dream I had at 16. One I had tried to fulfill before, but thanks to those wonderful 'I' messages, I never really tried. I gave it up as I was destined to do. When I realized that the woman I used to be was no longer, I knew I had to fulfill that dream, and to do what I always longed to do. I am going back to school at the ripe young age of 38 to become a Social Worker, and to help those who are having difficulties. Yes it will be hard, but I need to do this to complete the new and improved me!!

Dont despair, you are not lost, even though you may feel it. Find out what you need to become whole again. We are here to help you get through all the pain that comes with rebuilding a life. I looked at it like if I lost my house, what would I need to do to rebuild it again....And it worked....

Hugs to you
Kat

This is so weird cause I was feeling the same way today. I am 1 week post op had TVH and BSO and A&P and Bladder too. Anyway I was feeling that my womb should be mourned because it nourished and birthed 7 children. I thought it should have been treated with respect. Isn't that weird!!! Anyway I am moving on with my life just hoping to bypass the two wk uti's. My cousin told me about 5 dried apricots a day for constipation and boy does it work! Good luck sisters, Mary

All of you are so very kind! I just cried reading all your responses. I am taking it day by day, some better than others, and have found that I really do enjoy feeling WELL again, other than the soreness. I do miss my womb, but have accepted that this is whom I am now. I keep telling myself not to focus on the children I couldn't have, but to focus on my 2 boys I do have, and how much better I will feel, and all the things I can do with them now that I am WELL again! I do feel different, but I am starting to feel more and more like a woman again, now that I can start getting around more, and pampering myself! This surgery is hard emotionally.......I wasn't prepared for it, maybe that is why I took it so hard. I know that talking with all of you has given me a better outlook, and no longer do I feel alone in all of this. I want to thank all of you for replying to my post. A kind word is needed so badly when you are going through all of this! I hope you all are feeling well, and I send you all a Big Ol' HUG!!!!

HUGS...and I do hope you are feeling better very soon...Mamie...