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Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas? Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

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Unread 12-14-2011, 06:07 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I will be having a Da Vinci Total on Tuesday the 21st, and I'm not feeling selfish. I'm just getting very anxious but yet excited to hopefully feel better after it is done and over with. Good luck everyone. I have read and read on here, you all are a wealth of information.
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Unread 12-14-2011, 06:24 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Had similar issues here, considering I have my very large family on Christmas Eve. (appx. 30 people) Some members kept telling me to wait until January, but I have been in such pain for the last few months, plus, I'm trying to get it done before the year end of our insurance deductible. My husband was also able to get two weeks off before the end of the year. It all fell into place for us, so I sure don't feel guilty or selfish. The rest of my family had to figure out who and where to have Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to sitting and just enjoying the night.
Unread 12-14-2011, 10:23 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I completely understand your feelings. I've been asked the same thing also-but I had to schedule mine for Dec 16, one day after my semester ends so I can enroll in the next semester. I also work full time so it's better with shorter office hours to miss work. All my DH is worried about is no sex, not that we have it anyway, but I find him and than super selfish.
Good luck and keep posting on here-I find it the ONLY place to find love and support.
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Unread 12-14-2011, 10:56 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Hi Shahlex,

My surgery is scheduled for the Dec.22 and I felt the same way you did. I made a comment to my husband about having the surgery during the Christmas holiday and his response was your health is more important than the one holiday. I have a 19 yr old and 16 yr old and I told them I'm having it around that time and they were ok with it and they understand it needs to be done. I also have a sister and 2 nieces coming to visit for Christmas and my sister understands also. So I will spend as my time as I can with them until the day of the surgery. So I really felt guilty, but I'm ok now after talking to my hubby. Best Wishes and a speedy recovery. God Bless!
Unread 12-15-2011, 06:37 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Thanks for all the responses ... my problem is I worry too much about all kinds of things ... so, I am sure I am projecting onto them with this ... I know that people are just concerned that I not miss out on anything ... I think the problem is I usually don't talk about these issues so even my close family don't know what type of discomfort I have - they don't know about things like going to work & having to run to store to get underwear because by the time I got of the train, I bled through the one's I was wearing ... or like sitting in a meeting, standing up & having blood running down my leg ... when my partner realized that I had pain during sex, he was quick to say, yeah, I need to go take care of this ...

Thanks again, I am glad I can come here with all my craziness & be understood!
Unread 12-16-2011, 04:16 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Mine is the same day... and I did it intentionally... the kids will be home for Christmas vacation and I will not have to concern myself with who missed the school bus... who needs to go to Staples for a tri fold presentation board or anything else... for this one moment its all about ME.... and they will be taking care of my needs and keeping the house clean... guilt free focused and ready to just get this over with... best of luck to you sweetie <3 See ya on the post op boards!!
Unread 12-16-2011, 07:06 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I tried to get mine scheduled before Christmas, you are NOT being selfish. I wish my hubby could be with me and that would have been the only time to do it. You can still share in the festivities. And I am sure your family will be supportive. And the benefits to you should out-way their concerns.
Unread 12-16-2011, 07:39 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Heck no you're not! I needed to wait for mine to fit into my Masters program winter break, so Christmas/Birthday time is was! I'm 8 days post-op and if Christmas were tomorrow I'd be able to enjoy it...and even laugh without horrific pain, which wasn't the case a few days ago. This year I was more on the festivities ball than ever! I had to get my shopping done early. Check! Decorated and put everything on timers! Check! Waiting, which wasn't my doctor's idea, was worked best for me. And since my surgery date was on MY time it was so much less stressful. Your family needs to be supportive and I'm sure they will be; they are probably just extra concerned with the holiday approaching. My daughter is 12 and wanted to make sure we were still having a tree, dinner, presents...ha! She's relieved to see that the stockings have been hung by the chimney with care...and she's been pretty helpful too! Best wishes to you!
Unread 12-17-2011, 01:52 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

You are not being need to do what is best for you...there will be many more holidays..iam having my surgery dec a mother of 4 lil ones...and them being so lil they even understand iam sick and need this surgery to get better...they are looking forward to taking care of me ...(they are ages 10,9,8 and 3)...and my husbabs has 2 weeks of paid vaca he needs to its working out great....good luck hun ••Happy Holidays and healing••
Unread 12-17-2011, 02:26 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I do not think you are being selfish. I really wanted mine done right before the holidays but the only December date my Doctor had was early December when we where on vacation. Having booked the vacation a year ago I was not about to change the vacation, so January it is for me. I just think the time frame would have been easier with children in school, people home, time off from work, etc, etc. So no worries, your the patient and it has to work best for you.

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