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Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas? Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

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Unread 12-18-2011, 07:43 AM
Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I too am having surgery on the 21st. Works the best with me & my hubby's work schedules. I felt the same way but I've been a bit of a emotional mess. Thought that was suppose to be after surgery? Lol! Good luck to you. Take care!
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Unread 12-20-2011, 10:58 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I'm having my surgery on 12/22. It'll be the first year without my mother in law (she passed earlier this year) I have to accept that this is what God wants to have happen. I am a total control freak and it'll be hard to watch all the Christmas activity around me, but I am totally focused on getting healthy.
Unread 12-20-2011, 11:21 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I had my surgery (TAH BSO)on the 13th....and I feel a little quilty as well!!!! The difference is my girls are 5 and 7. I am a teacher and timing surgery with Christmas break made the most sense. I was severely animeic and was in need of regular blood transfusions. They are really good kids and my husband has been awesome....just a " mothers guilt" thing I guess. I am trying to make it as festive as possible
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Unread 12-21-2011, 02:43 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I canceled our annual Thanksgiving trip to Hawaii and had mine on 11/23, released from hospital on Thanksiving. It was a tough decision before I made it, but was so obviously right in retrospect.
You being on the path to health and wellness is the biggest gift you can give your family.
Unread 12-21-2011, 10:10 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I haven't read all the responses yet so I may be repeating exactly what others have said but I'm telling you what I continually tell my mother who is 100% selfLESS to a fault.

I know for the most part we worry about and want to take care of others. We don't want to hurt them. It comes to the point where you just have to say screw it (I think I can say that here) and do what's best for YOU. I don't think you mentioned how old your son is but your daughter is an adult. She can help out with anything that needs to be done for Christmas. Several people, mainly my mom, kept trying to talk me out of a hysterectomy. I cried, I prayed, I talked to my husband. I felt so guilty because of what I felt like I was denying everyone something by having it done. I finally realized that I've been in pain for 12 years, tried every option, had 4 surgeries. I was just plain tired all the time. MY quality of life was/is more important that how other people felt. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I keep trying to reassure my mom that I'm OK. Even with menopause symptoms kicking in I'm not regretting having it done. I had a TAH on a Friday and that Monday I called my parents crying I was so happy. Even with the post op pain and constipation, only 3 days out from surgery I felt (and still feel) better than I have felt in almost 15 years. I feel like I've been given a gift and a second chance at life.
Unread 12-21-2011, 12:02 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

No you are not being selfish. You have to do what's best for you emotionally and psycially. Your family will understand. I was originally going to have mine the 27th of dec but quickly realized no one would be around to help with my kids. So at least doing it at this time you will have your family home for christmas break and have that extra help you're going to need. Good luck to you.
Unread 12-22-2011, 04:24 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I had my surgery yesterday. I thougth about having it after Christmas but I am a teacher and I wanted to take advantage of my days off for Christmas break. You are not being selfish.
Unread 12-22-2011, 07:25 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I had my surg two days before Thanksgiving and had the same second thoughts. Now on the other side, I am glad I did what I did. Life can go on quite successfully around us - and having a chance (excuse? LOL) to hang out in yoga pants and stay on the sofa is just fine. You can do more than you think you can - but should do too much, so it is a recipe for a quiet holiday! I was often alone as my husband traveled, but handled the family holiday pretty well. I was swollen and tired at the end of the day, but hung out and enjoyed the distraction. The day before and the day after, I was in bed with netflix and my remote!

Good luck to all of you!
Unread 12-23-2011, 06:41 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

No, you are not being selfish. I would imagine that you are they type that bends over backwards to adjust to what others around you need, but now it's their turn and I hope they step up to the task for you. Don't worry about what others think or say. You need to take care of YOU. It's okay to put yourself first every now and then.
Unread 12-23-2011, 02:09 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Well, I'm 7 days post op now, and on Christmas day I have a 40 minute car ride to brother in laws. I have mentioned twice to husband to please call and request they keep their jumpy dogs away so they dont' jump on my swelly belly adn rip open my sutures, he wont! My youngest son said he will stay home if I stay home, but then I feel so badly for ruining his holiday as my boys love the food made that special day over there, but I am not about to put myself at risk of injury due to dogs, that I am sure they wont put away for me, as they travel with them, let them pooop in others houses all the time, they are major "dogs are our babies" people, so ugh, I guess I can spend the day alone, but I'll def cry and be sad even though I'd normally want to not go, lol, I just guess asking one day, due to this surgery is too much to ask of others to make it about us princesses for once-I hope you all don't have any issues like this.

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