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Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas? Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

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Unread 12-23-2011, 03:36 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I agree with all the other ladies. The family ought to be pleased to look after you for a change, after all the years you have done everything.
I am sure they will rally round over the Christmas holiday and help.
It will all fall in to place.
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Unread 12-24-2011, 12:41 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I had my SAH here in L.A. on 12/15. I cancelled my surgery twice -- once in March and the other in June because it wasn't the right time in terms of coordination & logistics. I live with a roommate, so I wanted her to be away on holiday as she would undoubtedly have felt responsible for my care had she been here (she herself having had a TAH two years ago). I also knew I would have more friends available the last two weeks of the year to check on me or simply, come visit me! As women -- single, married, with families or not, we're constantly trying to juggle scheduling and convenience for others than ourselves. So, no -- don't feel guilty.

Not to get existential here, but this year started off with my gyno problems, also the year in which my daughter became estranged from me, sadly. So pretty ironic that the C-section incision that produced my 9.5 bouncing baby girl nearly 30 years ago is the same one in which my doctors went in to remove the organ that helped create her! On a happier note, she came to see me when I was released from the hospital and I believe she may be visiting right after the new year as well.

Thank goodness for my gal and guy friends and my source of inner strength, otherwise this holiday season would be really challenging. Happy holidays hyster sis's!
Unread 12-24-2011, 07:41 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I am self employed, so December made the most sense in terms of work. This is the quietest time at work during the whole year. I was very busy up until the Friday before my hysterectomy 5 Dec. I was too tired to do anything productive that weekend which is part of the reason for the hyst (lack of energy). It was only this week leading up to Christmas that I realised that Christmas was maybe not the best time of year in terms of family and it being our summer holidays... my housekeeper is on annual Christmas leave, buying presents was impossible and having summer fun at the beach, going out with friends, traveling, etc. is very limited. LOL, it doesn't matter though, I am saving a lot of money because I really have been unable to shop. I just hope everyone understands on Christmas day . Thankfully, I buy presents all through the year (at the sales), so my cupboards yielded a good stash of presents.
However, with hindsight, if I had to have surgery with a six week recovery period again, I will do it during the winter holidays. The season is significant to me, I now realise. I will definitely do it when my husband and children are on holiday (as they are now) because it is less stressful for the whole family than if my children were at school. It would put my husband under undue pressure if he was working... caring for me, our children and doing all the shopping, cooking and driving. Winter is also a great season for lots of sleeping and reading under the covers.
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Unread 12-24-2011, 07:46 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter re estrangement. I hope this will not last long.
Unread 12-24-2011, 11:10 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Thank you, Niee, I too hope this ends sooner than later. Merry Christmas to you!
Unread 12-26-2011, 01:21 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

I do not think you are selfish, I had mine on dec 21, 2011. I tried to get mine pushed back to after the first of the year but my doctor said "NO". They wanted to do mine on the 16th, but my college graduation ceremony was the 17th so the doctor pushed mine back to the 21st. I will admit it has been a rough few days, but with it being Christmas all my family have been really supportive and helping me out. especially since my two young children (8,5) are out of school.

This is something your doctor felt was needed and by that you should not feel selfish at all holidays or not. I hope you have a speedy recovery I can probably say I know what your going through.

Unread 12-27-2011, 07:57 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

Hi: I had my left ovary removed on December 19th. I knew I couldn't wrestle with a turkey and full dinner, but I still made seafood gumbo and brownies on Christmas day. I should have rested all day. I wore myself out so much I slept till noon the next day. I underestimated how tired I would be. I haven't cooked anything since. But I didn't want my guy or my son (grown, but not married) to have to find somewhere else to eat. Plus we all enjoyed the football game after dinner. I'm off till after the new year which is good because I was launched into surgical menopause and the symptoms are exhausting. I didn't realize having my last ovary removed would make such a big difference. Either way I understand why you did your surgery around the holidays and hope you are able to get some much needed rest.
Unread 12-27-2011, 08:45 AM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

OMG you are not being selfish!!! Mine was on the 12th and I am so glad it is done and I'm on the road to recovery. I usually host Christmas but gave it up this year. I didn't bring a thing except the grandkids and boy that was NICE! I scheduled this surgery back on July for December for many reasons. I teach so I could use Winter Break to heal, my yearly deductible is paid up, and I'm a runner--and I train the least in January/February so that gives me lots of healing time. The 2 weeks before the surgery was really stressful so I'm glad it was done a couple weeks before Christmas. I had all my shopping done, house cleaned (don't ask about the house now, UGH, but I don't care--my goal is to rest and heal) and I actually really enjoyed the Christmas season this year. So don't feel selfish, I'm sure we will be back on the "giving" wagon again but this time feeling so much better!!!
Unread 12-27-2011, 12:04 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?


By now you have had your surgery. I hope your recovery is going smoothly. I also had family ask me why I had my surgery before the holidays and why not wait until after the New Year arrived. I agree with you, I knew that I could not stand the thought of another painful period with heavy bleeding. I had to weigh the wishes of others with what I needed.

So, no, I don't think that you are selfish at all. Everyone's pain level and experience are not exactly the same.

I wish you the very best for the New Year!!!
Unread 12-27-2011, 07:59 PM
Re: Am I selfish for having surgery before Christmas?

If you are selfish, so am I!! I had my surgery on the 20th of December......hoping to miss as little work as possible. I work at a high school and hated to be away from the kids too long! This seemed to be the most sensible way to do things!

Been a bit frustrating, as I have pretty much been on my own the entire time!! Everyone here at my house pretty much just does their own thing! Thankfully, I had planned ahead and made sure I had water bottles and all my meds set up right next to the couch.

Broke most of the rules, went grocery shopping (I forget a few things for Christmas dinner) and knew if I didn't go, we wouldn't have dinner! Food was good and we have lots of left overs! Still really tired.......not looking forward to being back at work in a week, as much as I am anxious to see "my kids"!!

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