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Fear of Death (child mentioned) Fear of Death (child mentioned)

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Unread 01-29-2012, 10:28 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

I've had previous surgeries before and I wasn't too worried, but there was still the question of "what if". I made sure all my insurance documents were easily accessible and wrote letters to family and friends with items I wanted them to have for the "just in case". It made me feel better knowing I had covered those bases.

That said, the odds of death during your surgery are very slim and the benefits are unbelievable. There comes a time when the benefits outweigh the risks and you jump.

Like arielheart, I remember little of the OR past changing beds and my next memory was of my husband standing there with a silly grin on his face and a great nurse busy settling me in to my room.

The next morning (I had a late afternoon surgery and slept most of the night) my husband greeting me with a double tall mocha - pure heaven.
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Unread 01-30-2012, 01:51 AM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

This helped me to feel better...my good friend is an O.R. Nurse and said she has never had anyone die from being under anesthesia. She said its VERY rare people even die in the O.R. ever and when on the rare occasion it does happen they were usually in a trauma situation coming in. I had the same fear you did. I was shaking going into surgery. I had my TAH 8 weeks ago and PRE op was the worst part of the whole thing. You'll do great and be recovered before you know it. 8 weeks goes by fast!
Unread 02-04-2012, 10:24 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

I had a total breakdown tonight and came to hystersisters for some calming reading. I woke up from a very rare nap and had a nightmare about me dying during surgery. I had got myself so excited about the pain, multiple trips to BJ's for supplies and fatigue would be over soon and light was at the end of the tunnel. I have everything ready to o for surgery but not once had I thought abut death. I have a 6 year old son who has aspergers and I could see him in my dream not understanding what's going in. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. It was so real. Any comforting words ladies?
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Unread 02-05-2012, 11:39 AM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

Hi Banana,
I've had some weird dreams too, but that is a scary dream you had! Are you okay now? The hardest part for me is my six year old. Dying on an OR table seems like a great way to go, you wouldn't even know it. But leaving a child is the scariest. I've been thinking about it every day and don't really have anything super comforting to say other than you are not alone in this. I've thought about this hysterectomy stuff so much I feel like my head will explode. If you weren't fearing death before the dream, is there any way you can chalk it up to a nightmare and push past it, or has it sort of opened up a can of worms? Our hyst dates are fairly close, we can muddle through together.
Unread 02-05-2012, 12:01 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

It is NOT GOING TO HAPPEN !! The Doctors and anesthesiologists are fantastic you won't even remember going to the operating room next thing you are back in your room I asked my husband if they had done my surgery yet I was in no pain. - best thing I ever did for myself
Unread 02-05-2012, 12:02 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

My surgery is on Tuesday, and I think I too will be re-reading ArielHearts post over-n-over again! Greenie1111, I pray that the next few weeks of waiting will be filled with peace with what's to come, and hope for much much better days ahead! :-)
Unread 02-05-2012, 12:31 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

Hi HysterSisters,

Hope all is feeling better. I think it is normal to have some fear, and think what if I do not wake up. Think positive, I know it is not always easy. I am 3 weeks post op from abdominal hys and I am doing wonderful with no problems since surgery, other than nausea for couple hours after surgery.
I told my doctor I was afraid and he told me thesame I am sure all doctors tell their patients things sometimes go wrong and they can not always guarantee that surgery will be successful, sometimes that alone will frighten you from having the surgery, but do not let it change your mind that is just a precaution with any surgery.
He made me feel so comfortable because he told me he is good at what he does and he is going to do whatever it takes to keep me here, because I was so doubtful and fearful as well.
The day before the surgery I took my blood pressure and my heart was racing so fast because I was nervous and scared. I asked God to help me get through this day and please let everything go well in surgery and it did. It could not have gone any better. I prayed that morning because I thought I would be nervouse and scared but I was not.
I am praying for a speedy recovery for all hystersisters. Keep the faith.
Unread 02-05-2012, 01:47 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

I am 12 weeks or 3 months post op and one of my biggest fears was not waking up after surgery, it put me to tears almost hysterical yet i kept it in only once did i tell my husband my fear, so i know exactly what you are going through although i am not a single mother i did not want to leave my family without me .....so i would sing in my head to chase the thoughts away lol i remember i was the scaredest(?) going up to surgery as they took my glasses and i am almost blind without them and hubby was not with me, i was alone with my thoughts oh my it was scary BUT when i got to the waiting area there was not time to be scared, the nurses and drs were very professional and comforting always asking questions or talking to me which never left me to my thoughts which was a good thing so even though my post may be scary i am trying to tell you that most people do feel like that and our minds can be our worst enemies....what i do remember about my surgery is the anthestist asking me to take 3 deep breaths from the mask of oxygen,

Breath one - hmmmm i feel nice like floating

Breath two - oh eyes are getting sooooo heavy

Breath three - ummm i think i went to sleep

but it was a peaceful feeling that is what i remembered as well as everything would be alright

woke up hearing the nurses talking about lunch and how one (the one next to me) did not have lunch yet because she still had one person to look after..

Me: Oh i am soooooo sorry you cant go for lunch everyone needs lunch, i am sorry you cant go because of me....etc

point being.....find a happy place whenever any negative thoughts try to come in....think about how free you will be to be able to spend time with your son....sure you may wake up with an adominal surgery but it just means different healing which is noral cause everyone heals differently....when you go under think of all the things you will be able to do now that you couldnt before, life will be better.....

happy thoughts are the mantra for the day..... happy thoughts are sending your way
Unread 02-05-2012, 06:31 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

I am scheduled for surgery the week before you are. I, too, have had the fear of death - not overwhelming, but at times it will bother me.

I have had many confirmations that surgery is the best solution to my day-to-day pain and discomfort, but the thought of backing out has crossed my mind. Then I realized that I could easily be killed in a car or other accident. I need to live life as it happens and not waste time worrying about the what ifs.

I am determined to focus on the positive aspects of the surgery. I have read great reviews of the hospital where I am going and I know my doctor is an excellent surgeon. I'm thinking about how it will enable me to spend more enjoyable times with my kids. Think about your camping trip and how great it will be with your son.

I pray all goes well with your surgery.
Unread 02-05-2012, 07:04 PM
Re: Fear of Death (child mentioned)

I had that same feeling, all the way up to the morning of surgery. I was paranoid. I have 3 kids (2 biological & 1 step) my DH and my stepdaughter been through this once before when his 1 wife passed. I've prayed night & day. I'm Catholic I even had the priest annoint me. I live here in Houston,TX and the week before my surgery there was a storyline of a woman who had a botched hysterectomy done by a resident instead of the doctor, so that put in in an even more panic mode. The advice I can give you is, let go and let GOD. Pray, pray, pray! I'm STILL fearful even after surgery. If it helps try to talk to somebody, if not professional, a dear friend. This site really calmed me down. I hope this helps. Sending (((hugs))) & prayers your way.

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