Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Hi Ladies,

I'm wondering how all of you have done emotionally through all this. I don't know what it really was all about but yesterday I had a melt-down - and so unexpected. I've been really strong about all this - even when there was talk of possible cancer (Thank God, there's none) - but yesterday at a family gathering there was some teasing - and the next thing I knew I was crying and just couldn't get a handle on it. I'm sure that part of this is that I've had to become so very dependent on family members these days - not a comfortable place to be - and the thought that some might think I may be taking advantage of the situation is more than I can bear. That's probably not on anyone's minds at all - my family have all been so incredibly supportive - but it's such a sensitive issue for me, I guess and I just lost it. I ended up crying myself to sleep last night - and woke up feeling so silly about it all. Feeling pretty hormonal, I guess - missing my ovaries, perhaps. I felt so bad for my family cause I know I made everyone feel bad. Another family gathering tomorrow. Lord, help me!! I'm sure everyone will be walking on Easter eggshells around me. What a mess!!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Nei Taean Hi Ladies, I'm wondering how all of you have done emotionally through all this.

Nei Taean,
Even with my ovaries still in place, I still get weepy for no reason. At first I thought it was PMS, and I did get less weepy after a bit, but I still feel pretty emotional most days. We've been through so much. The decision to have the surgery, the anxiety of it all, our bodies healing, having to rely on others so much, and just plain not feeling well. Women are usually the caregivers. I think it's hard for us to accept being cared for. It's all so much to deal with. Sounds like the good cry you had last night helped a little.

I'm sorry that your family teased you. I wish they'd been more sensitive to your feelings. I say, let 'em walk on Easter eggshells a bit. You've been through a lot and deserve to be treated like a princess.

Zephyr45: Thanks so much for your concern and the info on the DVT. Fortunately, I don't believe that's what I'm contending with. It feels more like muscles that need to be stretched. There's no pain when I pull my foot towards my head, no swelling, no redness. I actually did some leg stretches earlier this evening and it's feeling much better.

Nei Taean: I'm sorry you've had such a rough time emotionally, and it's unfortunate your family is unable to be more understanding. I, somehow, have been blessed, and haven't had to contend with mood swings, crying, etc. . . . yet!

I wound up taking a Vicodin and I'm feeling much better than I was earlier. Just when you think you are out of the woods, you're not out of the woods. I'm sure none of you ladies can relate to that though.

Well....I'm 20 days post op. I still have a lot of abdominal pain, but I am handling it well. Unfortunately I have yet another problem. This may be TMI for some...but I've been bleeding rectally after bowel movements....not just a little, but significantly. Everyone I've talked to has said hemorrhoids, but I wasn't convinced.

Then I remembered that not too long ago I was diagnosed with Diverticulosis and had actually had Diverticulitis (which was treated)...anyway....when googling "rectal bleeding" both hemorrhoids and diverticulosis came up as causes.

I don't know much more than that, but I'll definitely be calling my regular doctor on Monday morning as I've been having strange abdominal pain associated with this bleeding. Scary to me.

My new cat arrived this morning at 10:45am. She's a 3 year old girl and she's part Siamese. She's creme and tan colored. And her eyes are something out of this world. They are SKY BLUE. I've never seen eyes so incredible. But she is extremely skittish and timid and has been hiding all day. She's come out briefly for a moment or two, but she is too scared to just be at home. I hope she adjusts okay.

I cried a lot after she was dropped off. I was missing my Alex who passed on March 1st.

The hot flashes have been hell the past few days, but I've had them since January when they put me on the Lupron. Some days I can deal, others I want to rip my hair out.

I still tire very easily and I am unfortunately not looking forward to Easter at my mom's. I should be more positive, but I'm just BLAH.

Still need pain meds most days. And my depression is raging. I feel extremely irritable as I'm writing this and I'm concerned that it's quite a negative post. I apologize.

I guess I really needed to vent. Nervous about my abdominal issues/rectal bleeding....worried about the cat feeling scared....stressed about the holiday....wanting to just curl up in a ball and forget it all.

Hope you are all doing well.

Jennifer in CT

Hey Jenn:

Welcome back! You've been missed!!!!

Please call your doctor about your rectal bleeding as soon as you can. It may be nothing more serious than hemorrhoids, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time physically and emotionally. Just remember that this too shall pass. If you've been reading the posts, you'll see that others are dealing with depression too. Always remember, you're not alone.

Congratulations on your new kitty. She's going to be just fine. How could she not be with a wonderful, loving mommy like you.

Try to relax and enjoy the process if you can. Take it one day at a time. It's all any of us have.

s,

Hi Ladies, How wonderful this is to have someone to talk to! I feel I can't whinge any more in 'real life' about being in pain cos everyone is going to get fed up with it. Esp seeing as I've been whingeing about being in pain for the last year plus and not knowing why.

Oceanluvr5, I don't think you would need to worry about discharge. I am still wearing a panty liner since surgery (3weeks, 6 days), and it is the same colour and does make itself known more when I've done a lot. Today I have woken up with this horrible aching pain, which is doing my head in. It is the sort of pain that goes into my legs. Trouble is, I am abroad and had surgery done in the UK, so would have to go back to see the consultant! I was already away from my family for a month, staying with my auntie, who was wonderful, but had to leave my little one (5) here in Bahrain with her dad. Not too keen to go back just yet! I did see consultant before I left as I had bad pains when I needed the loo (cramping sort that I had to do deep breathing exercises to cope with), but that settled down after a further scan.

Crystalwrists 74, you don't need to apologize for feeling down! Good grief, I think all of us have the right to be feeling a bit sorry for ourselves in our secret moments! I do hope you get your rectal bleeding sorted and that it is nothing to worry about. Take care.

Nei Taean, thank you for saying you can't spend much time on your feet as I've been getting so worried. Waking up with the pain wasn't fun this morning. It's more often after I've got up. I'm not surprised you were weepy after being teased - that would finish me off for sure - and you've also lost your ovaries, which must make that worse. I haven't, but I woke up in the night with a wet pillow recently, where I'd been crying in my sleep.

I have to confess to having had a cry in the hosp two days after surgery as I had come round from the anaesthetic on op day and been put in my room, only to receive a phone call from a friend asking me to ring my son (I'd visited him for the weekend before surgery). He had basically scrambled his brain with drink and drugs after I'd left and I had to keep track of him by phone until the following evening, liasing with the people where he lived and even getting the police to try and find him when he disappeared, until this friend could drive down and pick him up the next evening. It's been pretty horrendous, to be honest, and will be a long hard road. He will come here to stay shortly, when he is up to travelling back here (his dad will go and collect him) but I don't know if it's for a couple of weeks or long term. Has had a horrible time with his so-called 'friends' and he is such a kind, sensitive sort of guy underneath all his problems. Not good.

Not sure why I wrote all that! Just need to download, I suppose. I think I'd been running on adrenalin since the op, and now emotionally feel a bit like I've 'crashed'. For me, St John's Wort is my saviour, but cannot advocate it as it can interfere with some meds and should be approved by doctor before taking.

Maia, I know what you mean when people ask how you are doing! The poor auntie I stayed with knows more about my bowel habits than she would ever care to! I don't seem to get constipated, so lucky there, but do worry about straining when I go as the consultant told me a million times not to strain! Also, cannot do my pelvic floor exercises as too painful in bowel area. Am worried that instead of having better muscles after this op cos of repairs, they will be non-existent!

I've only got paracetamol and ibuprofen. Did other people get different/stronger stuff from doctor/hospital?

What a horribly long post. Sorry!

Hi Jenn,

I can relate to the Blah about easter. I was fostered out when I was three and have great memories of holdiays with my foster family and others connected to that family. But my parents have past on and so have my husbands and the rest of the family members are scattered all around or dealing with other major health issues. I always feel like crying on holidays...and this is no exception....so big hug for you...

We adopted a beautiful cat from the animal shelter that they were going to put down because she would not socialize. We actually took her in to foster her for a while to try and help her become more social and fell in love with her. She hid in her cage and under the bed for two days and then it was like a little lightbulb went on in her head after listening to us interact with all our other animals and she came out for a visit. She is probably our most social cat with the others and with people...so glad we took the chance. We named her Kambo which means "must work had for everything"....suits her. Hopefully with all the love you have to share your new kitty will come around...

You have been through alot, don't be too hard on yourself...but definitely I would be talking to the doc. Monday just for peace of mind.

Take care of yourself...

Elizabeth - 46
TVH - still have ovaries
2/22

Wow, what a relief to hear about all the swellies out there. Er, I mean, a relief to know that I'm normal (unless you ask my hubby) ha ha.

Lisaleanne - Re the scar question: Ask your dr. first, but I had unbelievable success with Palmers coco butter when I was pregnant for stretch marks. I gained 60lbs (I was only 120 to begin with so I was HUUUUGE) and I don't have a single stretch mark. Perhaps this might help? The other idea I had is Maderma. A friend of mind commissioned me to purchase some while in the USA which is some sort of miracle cream for scars. I haven't used it myself, but she was putting it on a child that had a facial scar. Again, check with Dr., but it might be something to consider...

Oceanluvr - Re the wrist pain: I have been having trouble with my IV site too. The nurse missed the vein the first time and I practically passed out. She explained that there aren't any nerves inside the vein and if it is placed propertly there shouldn't be any pain. The outside of the veins are a different story. The second try was smooth sailing, but after I came home from the hospital I noticed that the missed IV site was fine but if I bend my hand downwards the skin pulls at the 2nd IV site and feels kind of numb. I had asked my hubby just the other day if it was possible to have nerve damage. Luckily it's getting better each day, so I guess it's another wait and see item.

Sighofrelief - You're in Muskoka too? Cool! Were you at OSMH for your procedure? My origional surgery was Valentines and there was some sort of meltdown that shut down the OR for a week. The new date was the 29th (LOVED the comment about the anniversary celebration every 4 years by the way) which was my DH's idea for our wedding for the same reason. We ended up marrying on the 28th, but I wasn't in a celebratory mood this year with the surgery the next day. Next year we'll make up for it!

To all the princesses out there, enjoy mounds of chocolate in honour of Easter and blame the tum on the surgery instead of the sweets! Hey, you gotta look at this whole thing positively right?

Happy Easter everyone!

Endometriosis + Heavy periods + Displasia
D&C x2, Various drug therapies, Laser x 4, Novasure Ablation
TVH kept ovaries, lost cervix

Hey dke...yep I was at OSMH....small world! Are we allowed to ask where others are located....? I am in Parry Sound...

nice and sunny here today but still so much snow left! Spring is definitely here though....

enjoy the day!

Elizabeth