Have to make decision...and I know it's the wrong one

Oh, June. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles, but I hope you can find a way to have the surgery. Like the others, I in no way want to discount your concerns. But imagine what happens if you don't get the surgery. It sounds like you are headed down a slippery slope with your health. I would just hate to see you in a situation where you had to have and emergency hysterectomy instead of a scheduled one. Especially with a special needs child at home.

I wish I could just pack up and come to help you myself. Do you have a day-care? Or a teacher of your older child that you trust? That might be a place to start looking for help with your 3 yr. old.

Many hugs to you. I pray you will be able to have the operation and that your husband and oldest child will care for you properly.

It seems like your family depends on you,but plz take a deep breath and think before you cancel. Your family needs you to be healthy, but you also deserve to be healthy. We moms tend to put ourselves in the back burner and sooner or later we learn our lesson. It is time you learn how to delegate to others and help them believe in themselves and their abilities of becoming a great team. Be strong! Talk to your insurance for any help you may qualify for. LAVH is a great procedure I bounced back easily. Is less invasive and less painful.
LAVH 4/22/2008
Endo, Enlarged uterus,anemia due to bleeding, precancer cell in the endometrium

(((June2008)))

I hope you can work something out and still be able to go thru with the surgery. Will be thinking of you!

Jessica-
take a deep breath and think about the oxygen mask theory (adults need to put on their mask FIRST- then they can save everybody!!)
Let's come up with solutions- I was going to suggest contacting a church also- I think that's a good place to start. (I love the don't have to believe to receive--it's true!!). There are lots of good people all around us. As for strangers in the house- could your husband or older child take your 3 year old to the park or a walk around the block while someone is there? Bribe if you have to- but you need to take care of yourself or you could have much bigger problems later.

I am so sorry for you. I cannot imagine the stress...

I really would do as the other ladies have said and talk with your doc. She/he may have dealt with situations like this before and be able to help!

You really sound like you need this surgery.

Wishing you the best and praying for you.
Lizzy

Nope, he doesn't nap. *sigh*

Too much. This is all just too much for me to take. My mother just turned the entire situation around and made it about her. Then she even said God will punish me. Yeah, that's supportive. Very supportive.

DH is stepping up tonight. He's trying to get the entire house back in order, including getting all the laundry done (over 25 loads) so that I do not need to worry about tripping over any thing. I just hate how angry I've had to become before something gets started. He is still telling me that I need to keep my schedule and he will do whatever he needs to in order to make it easier on me.

I can't believe my mom said that. Punish me? Because I said don't call me right now? Because I need some space for Myself? Yeah, that really hurts. Especially when what I've been living with hasn't apparently been "punishment" enough. Ok, going to go lay back down and cry.

(((June2008)))

I don't understand you moms comment either, sorry she said something like that to you.

I am glad to read that your dh is helping you out more now. Hang in there..

Jessica - we are all praying for you ... for your strength and courage, and for your family, that they will also have the strength to do their part for the good of the family ... sounds like it's working a little, kudos to DH for jamming thru the laundry! perhaps he's a little scared, too ... he's obviously been relying on you for a long time, so he hasn't had to make the decisions, maybe he's afraid of making the wrong one ... reassure him that whatever he does is great, even if it's not as good as you would do ... and reassure him that you're going to do everything you have to do (per doc's orders) to get thru the surgery and recovery with the best results! and all the other suggestions about looking to your community for help are all great ... can you put on a movie in your room and cuddle with your little ones in bed while someone else is there to do your laundry, dishes, etc. ... that way, your son won't be upset with the 'strangers' ... and if DH can only manage cereal and scrambled eggs for 2 weeks, who cares? they're not going to starve, maybe they'll think of it as camping! and forgive the bluntness, but it's time for a come-to-Jesus-meeting with your teenager ... needs take off the tiara and join the real world! i have two adult DD's, and have had that conversation MANY times! kind of 'tough love' but not that nice!

stay strong - you're almost there!

Jessica - I can't add much to what everyone has already said but don't cancel the surgery. It sounds like you really need it. And it is so important that you take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. As hard as it might be you have to do this. Sounds like your husband is trying. I would also tell your dd a thing or two and that she has to get up and do things or she won't eat or have clean clothes. I was also going to suggest as someone did to be in another room with your little ones with the door closed while someone comes in to help. I also thought asking about a less invasive procedure was a great idea. Reach out to your community, whether it is a church the local red cross, college students, etc. you need to be able to recuperate from your surgery without hurting yourself. Good luck with everything and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Sending you lots of hugs.

Hallo Jessica
Isn't free will and choice a bummer sometimes? Sometimes it would be nice if someone could just tell us what to do and not leave it up to us to decide as we weigh the pros and cons.

But consider this, why don't you go over your postings and think about your quality of life as it is right now. It was only 3 days ago that you said you were in the worst pain of your life. You were agonising about holding your 1 year old during your recovery, but how many times have you been able to hold your child through your illness?
I did the calculations before I opted for surgery. I'm 41 now, which I figured meant about another 15 years of periods or 180 periods. If I was in pain and agony for even 2 days of each month, that would be 360 days of pain or about a year of my life. I figured that recovery couldn't take that long. Finally, really bad pain in May sent me to the phone to make that appointment.

You said you have an appointment on June 23 with your doctor. Go over your fears with him/her and consider the rainbow on the other side.

I know there are no easy answers. But there are a lot of hystersisters rooting for you. Hold on to positive vibrations and if all else fails, give it over to a higher power and trying praying on it.