Thanks to the sisters; just need to vent.

Hey sisters....just wanted to give a special thanks to all of you, as well as the founders/moderators of this site.

I am SO tired of friends who say "oh my, are you sure, aren't there alternatives, aren't you rushing into this". I know they mean well, but they're not helping.
And I am equally tired of those who insist on telling me what to expect, and what to do -- when their surgeries were many many years ago. No, I'm not going to go forward with autologous blood donations, without talking to my doctor; no, I'm not going to take the whole summer off like she did (Hey, what part of self-employed do you not understand); no, I'm not going to insist my doc switch to a VH from her planned AH (I think I'll assume that a medical degree and years of practice are worth something).

GRRRR

somehow -- I'm not quite sure how -- the founders/moderators of this site have created an environment that is supportive, and informative, rather than one where people challenge your decision, or think they're entitled to tell you how to do things.
and especially those who've gone through this should understand that with frequent periods, and hormones all akilter...DON'T PUSH ME!!
and THEN..... when I mention how wonderful hystersisters are, 'they' have the nerve to challenge the validity of this group!!

DOUBLE GRRRRRR

and now I feel much much better, and can go back to the outside world!!!!
thank you for being here, sisters.
(4 1/2 weeks to go)

Hi Laurie ~ we're glad you're here too. This site has been a lifesaver for so many of us. It's an amazing place to come and connect with other women who understand what you're going through. Best wishes to you!

I decided early on now to pay attention to "them". "They" weren't doctors, or my family, or the friends who know me well, or even people who've been through what I went through. "They" were merely people with opinions who gave them unsolicited and, as such, did not merit my concern or consideration. I relied on my doctors and my own research for my answers and never for a moment considered taking any of "their" advice. Were "they" going to take care of me if I didn't have my TAH: clean my house, buy my groceries, cook my meals, mop up my bleeding, follow me around with a bag of pads and tampons and a change of clothes everywhere I went? No, "they" were merely going to tell me how to live my life and forget about me thereafter, so I told "them" where they could go, and it wasn't to the hospital with me. :burning:

Hi Laurie -
I hear what you are saying and can relate to all the friend's un-needed advice. People who do not have these same, very personal and stressful, problems cannot relate at all!!!

However, now I am going to try give you some advice, and I hope it is OK since this is current and legitimate and factual...

Please, please, please, if you have not already done so - be sure to get a 2nd opinion about the surgery to see if you are a candidate for a TVH or LAVH. The only reason I say this is because my dr wanted to do a TAH, and she said I was not really a viable candidate for a less invasive procedure. But my family and friends pushed me hard to get a 2nd opinion, and I finally did (just 2 weeks prior to my surgery). THe new doctor said he could try the LAVH, and if the fibroids were too big, or endo to invasive, he would switch to the TAH. In the end, he was successful, and based on the recovery stories I am hearing, I shaved at least 3 or 4 weeks off of my recovery and had little to no pain.

You really owe it to yourself to get a 2nd opinion if you have not already done so.

My original Dr had been in practice for a long time and I am sure she would have done a wonderful job at the TAH, but she did not recommend anything different because she did not have the skill to do it and didn't want to lose a patient. As a matter of fact, she got quite aggitated with me for seeking a 2nd opinion, which I found very unprofessional.

I know it is really hard to change course in the middle of the stream, especially with all of the emotional stress attached to this, but in the end it might make a huge difference in your recovery. And as a fellow hystersister who has gone through all of this just a few months ago, I hope you will not be offended.

(I am ducking now.... ) :-)

I agree with Karen on the 2nd opinion.

I had a TAH. I got 2 opinions. I was blessed with a male and female set of s that worked together to get the best plan for me.

I value both of them and was completely at ease at the time of my surgery.

Blessings on you ....

Laurie....hugs to you! I'm sorry that you have friends who are being a pain.

I have to say that no one around me said anything negative. I told those who needed to know what I was doing and they were all supportive...even my boss. It was hard for me to tell him as he and his wife had been going though major fertility issues (they spent in excess of $500k to get pregnant). He was still very cool about it, even though I knew that it caused some hesitation in his mind. He made sure to tell me that he would support me in anyway he could and even called the day after surgery to tell me that he would come by with lunch or dinner if I wanted him to. He lives in another city, yet was willing to travel to bring me food! Tres cool

The only person who said anything negative was one of our other sales reps...and she was only joking. She called me one day and called me the witch with a B name.....her period started that morning and she envied me. LOL! Of course, she called me that in jest as we are bestest buds....heck I am STILL giving her my left over tampons as I found some last week in the trunk of my car! LOL!!!

Hi Ladies,

This is my first post on this wonderful site. I have only just come across this site whilst surfing after being told by my gyn about two weeks ago that I needed a hysterectomy. I have suspected adenomyosis (MRI confirmed diagnosis). It was almost a relief to find the answer after numerous tests and to see an end in sight.

I have also been seeing a gastroenterologist as I have had other symptoms - diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, nausea, stomach cramps to name just a few. She has been sending me for other tests - CT scan, sigmoidoscopy, stool samples, blood tests etc. I have a small bowel follow-through scheduled for next week. Now, after reading various posts here I see that a lot, if not all, of my symptoms can relate to adenomyosis and may disappear after surgery - yeh!!!

I am meeting with my gyn on Tuesday to talk about the surgery so I will bear all your comments in mind. I will be taking a list of questions for him when my DH and I visit him.

This site is an inspiration to all women going through this - I have gained so much strength through reading about others already.

Please excuse the length of this but I really felt compelled to write tonight.

God Bless everyone.

Wendy
Laparoscopy and D&C - April 2007

Hi there! We're so glad you've found us here.

I completely understand the well-meaning friends and relatives who insist that they have late-breaking news for you. I had the same thing happen to me.

I learned early on to listen and then say, "Thanks so much for the information. You know, I'm pretty squeamish about talking about these medical details with anyone but my doctor. Say, how about this weather we're having?"

Your situation is yours alone. That friend who insists you can have a vaginal surgery doesn't have your body or your issues. The one who says you should plan to take the summer off -- well, you may actually have to if you don't heal well ..... but time will tell that. You'll make the decision which is best for you at the time.

It's always a good policy to get a second (or third, or fifth) opinion before having major surgery. But I'm one of those who didn't. I knew I had issues and after a very thorough exam, my doctor went through every possible treatment and then asked me what I wanted to do. I said, "Well, I'd like to have a hysterectomy...." and he heaved a sigh of relief because then he went on to explain why I was a poor candidate for the other treatments.

After having the surgery, we all saw the reality that only a hysterectomy would have fixed my problems. The doctors were ambiguous as to the number of my fibroids because there were some which were completely embedded in the uterine wall, causing it to be boggy. They told me that it probably never contracted down after the birth of my ds in 2000, leading to potentially life-threatening bleeding. So I'm like you. I trusted my doctors, and it just all "felt right" to me.

Even though the surgery did fix my fibroid issues, I still have lingering pain and other problems. A hysterectomy is best done when it's the final (and best) resort for your particular situation. But it sounds to me like you already know that and you've worked through all of this.

As for the type of procedure, that's a whole different issue. There are (((sisters))) who will insist that the LSH (or TVH, or LAVH) has a faster recovery period. Actually, while those procedures don't involve an external incision, it's still a major surgery, involving the removal of organs.

The initial recovery period for a hysterectomy is 6-8 weeks. No matter what type of surgery you have, you'll have hundreds of internal stitches which will need stress-free time to heal properly. The difference, I think, is that many (((sisters))) who have lap or vaginal procedures tend to "feel better" sooner because they don't have the incision to deal with. On the other hand, some of those (((sisters))) also tend to do too much too soon . Even so, they still have lifting and other activity restrictions for several weeks.

In the end, it's a decision you need to make along with the counsel of your medical team, but it's a very good idea to see if you're a candidate for a less-invasive surgery, if only because dealing with an incision is just one more thing to do during recovery.

The key is that your surgery type should be the best one for *you*, not done because someone else had it and had a good experience! In the end, the call is yours and your medical team's.

We're here for you whenever you need us. to you as you go through this journey.

HI laurie!!! I am so happy that you found this site!! It has been my god send!!! Everyone around me is supportive.. I suppose, as much as they can be with being unknowing of the facts of this. My mother is emotional, I feel like I need to console her about all of this!!! my sister is wishing it was her (please ), just so she would never get another period, did I mention she has 3 children. (my husband & I have 0!!) My friends are compairing my TAH to their C section, and gallbladder surgerys!!! At some point I think I am loosing it, but I get on this site and I hear that I am not alone!!! SO I think what you are hearing is normal ( if there is a normal) for people that really don't know what to say. This is a very stressful time for us and I am so thankful for my sisters!!! I have found that I can always find a shoulder to cry on, or a ear to scream into right here on my computer!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Tooth-Fairy !) My friends are compairing my TAH to their C section, and gallbladder surgerys!!!

I am betting that those gallbladder chicks didn't have theirs as I did...the OLD way....major surgery, seven days in the hospital. LOL