Looking for Support - would love to hear from women who had to undergo this surgery before having children

Greetings my Sisters,

I am in the Atlanta metro area and had a complete abdominal hysterectomy 2 weeks ago. I am 43 years old and have never had children biologically. I’m looking to find a support group of women who have had to undergo this surgery before having children. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I am 40, had my surgery age 39 and am in surgical menopause. I never had children. My surgery was laparoscopic tho, no large abdominal cuts. Let us know what type of suggestions or answers you are seeking : - )

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Originally Posted by lswright357 Greetings my Sisters, I am in the Atlanta metro area and had a complete abdominal hysterectomy 2 weeks ago. I am 43 years old and have never had children biologically. I’m looking to find a support group of women who have had to undergo this surgery before having children. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

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Originally Posted by cjarbell I am 40, had my surgery age 39 and am in surgical menopause. I never had children. My surgery was laparoscopic tho, no large abdominal cuts. Let us know what type of suggestions or answers you are seeking : - )

Thank you so much for your reply. I am having some issues coping emotionally. Even though I’m in therapy, I would love to be a part of a support group of women who have experienced the same.

Hello,
I'm new here... I'm 42! Had 3 miscarriages and my last miscarriage literally destroyed me! We found out we were pregnant at 12 weeks, baby stopped growing at 9. I have a cantaloupe size fibroid that was growing along side of our baby and we were told after numerous tests, that was the cause.. I had gastric sleeve surgery in January hoping the drastic weight loss would help reduce If not cure the fibroid. Had repeat test to find out it's now 18cm and needs to be removed! November 2021 is my surgical date and I'm petrified.. So many thoughts to process.. I'm here if you ever want to talk..

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Originally Posted by lswright357 Thank you so much for your reply. I am having some issues coping emotionally. Even though I’m in therapy, I would love to be a part of a support group of women who have experienced the same.

Girl. I’m in the same boat. 35 never had kids. Depressed and very down. I’m looking for a support group as well. Just want to learn to be OKwith my new normal.

Mcooper813, I'm sorry for your losses. When I had my surgery, I was 48, single, childless, and dealing with a grapefruit sized fibroid pressing on my bladder; I was already facing the prospect of never having children, and this made it final. I hit a wall of depression after my 6 week checkup, when my emotions surrounding the surgery stirred up unresolved grief surrounding my mother's death in 2013. Thanks to the caring support of the sisters in this forum and two wonderful therapists, I was able to process my feelings and move forward with my life. This forum has a wonderful article filled with suggestions on commemorating the lives that were taken too soon, and the lives that will never be; I belong to a knitters group, where one of my ongoing projects is making tiny hats and blankets for parents who have had miscarriages or stillborn babies, so that they can have something tangible to memorialize the lives they've lost. Sending you all my warmest hugs, and best wishes for continued health and healing!

Hey girl! I’m 35 and single and no kids. Had a complete hysterectomy last week. My heart is shattered. I’m actually on antidepressants. First time in my life and I’m not even sure that’s the right step to take. In fact I even just posted a thread before I saw yours because I’m not sure how to properly grieve this. I’m not sure if I should even be on medication. Like maybe I should just feel the grief, you know? It’s painful. It hurts. I was laying in bed the other night thinking about one day being pregnant and I had to remind myself that that’s not an option anymore.

I will turn 40 on 12/11 and my total hysterectomy surgery is scheduled for 12/21. I’m grieving the loss of not having any children. I never wanted kids and, until I was faced with the option being taken away I was ok. It’s not just the loss of the ability to conceive it’s also the loss of a part of my being. I’ve carried this uterus for a long time, it’s what we’re told physiologically makes us a woman. What’s helped me is allowing myself to grieve both of these losses. I let myself cry, and remind myself I’m no less of who I was before, and although I’m not biologically a mother, I’m still a mother to my nieces and nephew, to my younger friends who need loving care if their mother doesn't have the capacity. Hope this and helps, and I’m willing to listen to anyone who just needs a shoulder to cry on. Sending love!-Maggie

Hi All,

WOW...I wish this group existed back when I had my surgery in 2019, it was exactly what I was looking for!

I don't have children, and I always wanted them. When I was first told that I would eventually need to have a hysterectomy, I was 36 years old and single at the time. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt robbed. I was told that if I chose to wait until I "completed my family", I could do the watch and wait approach. That meant PAP, HPV and ECC biopsies every 6 months at the Colposcopy Clinic. I was assured I would be very closely monitored, however eventually I would need to have the surgery.

I decided to hold out, and did the watch and wait approach for awhile. I did 2.5 years, and started having other issues (fibroids) that caused me to bleed for 9 months straight. That, along with the stress of the biopsies every 6 months, I was just done. I booked my surgery and that was that.

I had a lot of fears, thinking that after I woke up I would panic, and have a lot of issues coming to terms with the finality of it all.

I have been in therapy, and it helps. But there definitely haven't been many people to talk to that are in the same situation.

You're not alone, that's for sure.

Hi there, all! I'm single, 41, childless. It's been 11 days since my hysterectomy (due to fibroid larger than a cantaloupe). I had never fully made up my mind whether or not I wanted children and now that I'm no longer able to I just feel devastated.

I was surrounded by children in my pre-op waiting area and had to sign the form saying I understand I can no longer have babies listening to the sounds of young children. I'm skipping spending the holidays with my family this year because both of my younger sisters have children and I know that I'm just not ready to face that. My heart hurts. My belly hurts.

If there's a support group, I'd really love to join. .