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LAVH/RSO - Escape From the Dungeon! LAVH/RSO - Escape From the Dungeon!

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Unread 11-21-2003, 11:12 PM
Escape From the Dungeon!

Fleet's phoso-soda + dulcolax - desitin = 2nd degree burns on anus

Be mindful of this as you read this epic adventure.

Monday 11/17 - prep
Tuesday 11/18 - surgery
Wednesday 11/19 - escape
Thursday 11/20 - goin home

After two years of progressively painful periods and sex, heavy flows and undiagnosed chronic pelvic pain, I made the choice to have a hysterectomy. After two years of searching, I was referred to a dr who listened, read the old reports, agreed with me, and recommended a hyst. The approval for a castle visit has not come easy for me, and I've been told everything from "it's all in your head," to "I just don't see anything wrong here." When the decision was made I was surfing the net to do some research and found hystersisters. The advice and information contained on this site has been more useful and easy to follow than any I found on staunch medical sites. I am also happy to have made some new buddies who help me by sharing their experiences and how they overcome obstacles to their recoveries. Some of these gals are funny as heck, and I love to laugh with other women about our discomforts in life. Okay, on to the castle...

11/17 - I was given the "most comfortable" bowel prep available. Compared to the three I had during the year of colon and intestinal exams before my castle visit, this was certainly the most aggressive; and ME WITHOUT DESITIN! Fortunately, my DH felt my pain and went to the store.

11/18 - Me poor bum still angry and buzzing the next morning, I approached the castle gate. I was brought into a curtained room and assigned a handmaiden to properly prepare me for my surgery with jolly Dr J. She gave me mesh panties and thigh-high stockings and told me they'd be snug, but to PUT THEM ON promptly. I was also given a lovely gown. To my DH's delight, I looked quite like a floozy, ready for action! He was full of glee, and announced his delight loudly. "Git 'er done!" he shouted as he slapped my sore behind. Such a supportive knight, indeed! And git 'er done they did! In fact, it was one of those "five minute" surgeries like Bruisincloud had. I was asleep and awake in what seemed like five minutes!

My DH said they were very pleased with the success of the surgery, and thought I would be ready to leave the castle the next afternoon. However I was commanded to stay in a hotel next to the castle for the following night, so I'd be close by Dr J. DH remembers that they found fibroids and removed several adhesions, and as planned removed my uterus, cervix and ovary for testing. My appendix was too smooth and beautiful to remove. I was too high on narcotic medication to ask my own questions. Next Tuesday I will know what the pathology report shows. I was given a picture of my pretty appendix for my entertainment. It was unfortunately the only picture that turned out. Shoot, with an "i!"

Surgery took about an hour, starting at 10. Recovery took the longest. Although I was not nauseated at all, I was in severe pain. I was shocked and amazed that the morphine I was given for two hours didn't seem to help at all, even though it made me behave in an undignified manner.

When I was finally assigned a room in the dungeon at 3, the head mistress arrived to give me some Percoset. Perk perk perk! By five I was high as a kite, nearly pain free and ready to take out the catheter.

The nurse and I decided to take it out and measure the flow of urine I produced on my own. I made a continually increasing amount several times throughout dinner. At 6 King J came in for a visit, and was a little miffed that the catheter was out. In fact he yelled at the nurse in charge of my care. But I showed him my accomplishment, and told him I'd have it put back in if I could not produce the required amount of gold overnight. That seemed satisfactory.

I took two walks that evening with my DH, and got my own nourishment out of the kitchen all night. About all the nurses were good for was ice water and IV changes. The surgery/oncology floor was full of growning sadness, so I just helped myself. At one time it took the nurse 45 minutes to come in with a pain pill. I decided then and there I was going to get better and go home where I would have better care.

The castle was not a restful place. My vitals were checked every two hours through the night, and my blood drawn twice. My electrolite levels were so good, they removed the IV promptly in the morning so I could shower. I drank lots of water and juice, and asked to have only soft foods. I was very tired not to be allowed to just sleep, but seemed to get enough sleep to get up and do what I needed to each time I was interrupted. I had a private room with a private toilet, and felt very spoiled.

11/19 One of my friends came to visit with me for about an hour and a half. We went downstairs to the coffee shop and drank mochas. When I got back up to my room I entertained the nurses who were chatting outside my door (and my silly DH who was in the room) with a loud explosion of gas that echoed througout the west wing of the dungeon. Expressing such a huge amount of gas (which corresponded with the expression of my opinion about the care I received) made the ride to the hotel much more comfortable. I believe espresso had something to do with that! Think about it - eSpresso, eXpresso. Set yourself free, girls!

Thankfully, the next night (after the spanish couple next to us stopped yelling at each other) I got good sleep at an expensive and somewhat skanky (I didn't say "swanky") hotel near the castle. I was quite happy to be aloud to go home Thursday morning. We stopped at Krispy Kreme for doughnuts and coffee, and I was quite content to snore all the way home (142 miles) with a full belly and empty bowels.

The moral of this story is: buy Desitin and apply it before your butt burns. Take responsibility for your own recovery, making informed choices. Do whatever your body allows you to do yourself, but DON'T OVERDO IT. Depend on the love of your life to help you, even when you want to do things yourself (and he would like you to as well). Keep after the nurses. You are paying them to do a job. It is a shame I had to take care of myself as much as I did because I could not get a prompt response from the nurses. I should pay myself instead of them! In fact, every time I left the room the nurses were out at the station chatting away about their boyfriends and the cute interns there. This was not good. I hope my "eXpression" was loud enough for them to know how I felt...if the clue was not acknowledged, they WILL know when Dr J passes on the earful I give him on Tuesday.

Bless your hearts! PM me if you have any questions about my visit.
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