Just Got a Date & Not Doing Well...

One day I went for a routine pap smear and happened to mention that I had was a little bleeding one time after being post menopausal for a year. Good gosh, next thing I knew I was up in stirrups having a biopsy of the uterus (ouch!! and which was unsuccessful because my cervix would not cooperate); and then off for a couple of ultrasounds -- one with an internal probe (call me naive but I didn't see that one coming! ) Turns out I have many uteran and cervical lesions, tumors, and cysts and some that are leaking. My endremetrial stripe is also beyond 6 cm. All of which is highly suspicious for cancer. There's that "C" word!
and being I'm 53 yrs. old and, since there isn't a thing down there I need anyway, it's all on it's way out!

<taking a deep breath> Ok, well gotta do what we gotta do right? It's just, I don't do pain well and I'm the world's biggest wimp! I'm also a really big lady (around 350 lbs), have stroke-like brain seizures, severe arthritis in both knees (I'm bone-to-bone), a herniated disk in my back, (I walk with a cane) and I also have severe arthritis in both hands. This is not going to be easy! It isn't going to be like some of these younger girls who can just pull themselves up with arm strength or swing their legs because my hands, legs, and back already hurt and don't work like that.

So anyway, I'm just so overwhelmed! I requested surgery for after the holidays because I just can't deal with it until then. It seems one day I was fine and the next day my world is so different! Surgery date is Jan. 10 - doctor will try to do a vaginal with a loproscopic assist; but may have to open me up and definitely will if it is cancer. One good thing, however. We're going to do a TVT while we're at it so the middle age "drippage-whenever-you-so-much-as-sneeze" problem will be solved! Whoohoo!

I also still have a little 8 year at home; however, I'm blessed with the world's most wonderful husband in the world! I have no idea what I would do if I didn't have him to lean on right now, but he is also disabled and I hate to burden him. He's such a tenderhearted man and we've been married 33 years. I'm the one who is always the one who makes the jokes and keeps everyone else in the family up and laughing during the hard times. In spite of my other physical difficulties, I always said, well at least I didn't have some terrible disease so I'm okay! Gosh, it never occurred to me I might have some terrible disease after all.

I'm just so scared and I can't stop crying! I get to a point where I think...well, what are you going to do, this has to be done; but then it's just like this huge panic sweeps over me I just can't explain! I'm sure I'm the world's biggest baby!!! For an intelligent adult, I'm just a total idiot!! How in the world do you just accept all this and cope with the "C" scare and all? I just want to stop acting like a 2 year old and get a grip, but this all seems so big! I keep thinking thousands of women go through this, but I'm not thousands of women. It's big old me!:cry:

My situation is similar. When for the annual, mentioned the spotting ( I called them phantom periods), off to the ultrasound, they discover the fibroids. Ultrasound again with the biopsy, not successful, cause the fibroids are in the way. OK. Like you say, one day your fine and then the call comes in from the Dr.

WEll I'm sure your in panic mode because your thinking evrything is ok, and than its not. And I'm sure this info has only been given to you within the last few days. As time goes on you'll be more comfortable with what has to come, the surgery. The more questions you ask the more you read, the more you talk to people who have had the surgery the better you'll feel, information is knowledge. Be brave, there are many many women going through the same as you have and can offer support. Dont panic just yet, things will be ok. Stay positive.

Hi Mountains,

Yeah...I had a similar experience. I went in for my annual exam and my Dr. detected a large fibroid. I went in for an ultrasound a week later and there were (2) large fibroids instead. I went back to my Dr. for a consultation and she wanted to do a "TAH with a bladder sling". It was like wait a minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What is the rush?? What is happening to my life???????

I was scared to death!! At 46, I had never had major surgery. I only had normal exams and "see you next year, Dr". I even had my 22 yr. old DD in an alternative birth center because of my fear of hospitals!!

And there I was. ALONE with my hyst thoughts. Wow...you are right, Mountains. One day can change your life. My Dr. said "TAH and bladder sling" like she was ordering a hamburger with fries. Hello...I am a LIVE person over here with feelings!!

After the hyst news, I CRIED for two days straight and decided to get a 2nd opinion.

Today, I am 7 months post-op and my hyst was after all was said and done, one of the best decisions. I got my quality of life back. No more fibroid pressure, no more periods, no more b.c. And I have energy now.

Best wishes. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just collect lots of info. and we Hyster Sisters are here to help if we can.

Mary

You poor thing! I am also the world's biggest wimp. I did not have all the health issues you do but wondered what in the Heck I was doing to myself. Now 4 months later I am so happy. I had a total abdominal hyster. and bladder suspension surgery. My bladder had prolapsed and come down into my vagina. I also had to have my vaginal walls repaired. I have a very strong history of cancers in my family and have had abnormal pap smears for years. I am 46 yrs. old I had it all out including my cervix. I also decided to do hormone replacement therapy for a short term because I didn't want to go thru hot flashes etc. while recovering from surgery. I use a patch called Climara at .l mg.
I change this lx per week. My surgery went well. I had abdominal surgery with a bikini cut incision Not that I am a bikini girl anyway. My biggest problems after surgery was gas from
the surgery, bowel movements, gas and pain from the gas etc.
The worst part before surgery for me was the clean out and drinking this yucky stuff I am such a wimp and have a real easy gag reflex and then going to the bathroom and not being able to eat. You have no appetite for quite some time and all food tastes different for a week or two. Probably from the anesthesia.
Now I have a swollen stomach on occassion, my incision does ache (not always), but I really feel good. I am very glad I did this.
It was not going to go away and I wasn't getting any younger.
this site has been great and all the advice and infor is wonderful.
I hope this helps you a little. Hang in there. The waiting is the worst!! Let me know if I can help in any way.

Maryann
MarBear82

Hi Miss Mountains! Wow, do you have a lot on your plate right now or what? I can assure you, you are no "big baby". With all that you go through on a daily basis, you surely must be a very stong woman. Give yourself credit where credit is due, girl! I'd feel panic too if I had a bomb dropped on me like what just happened to you! Did they ever get any tissue to biopsy?

It does sound like the LAVH would be a good method for you because of your physical problems and mobility concerns. I hope they can take that approach, but if not ~ then the abdominal approach will have it's benefits too.

Your road to recovery may have obstacles in it, but it sounds like you are a trooper when it comes to maneuvering these. Maybe it's your humor that gets you though sometimes. (Some of that great personality shows in your post) Don't be afraid to turn to your DH for support. He'll want to be there for you when you need his TLC. My DH really felt good when I would turn to him to borrow his shoulder for a cry. I did, however, come here quite often while waiting my surgery because there is only so much family can listen to, and we have so many concerns .... This is a wonderful site. We'll be here for you.

s & s
Beth