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Will I feel empty? Will I feel empty?

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  #1  
Unread 10-08-2000, 09:08 AM
Will I feel empty?

Well, I am 5 days away....I am 35 years old, I have a 10 year old daughter (who will hopefully never have to go through what I have been through!). I was diagnosed with endo at 18 years old...I have gone through countless laporoscopies, lost two babies and now it's all come down to this. My uterus is hardening. I cant pronounce the medical term for it (much less spell it). All I can say is that it hurts...all the time...everyday....during sex, after sex, before, during and after a bowel movement, before I urinate, after I urinate...I can't sit for long periods of time because my lower back hurts all the time, etc...some days are worse than others. I am scheduled to have it removed this coming friday the 13th (no jokes please ) I refuse to let them take my ovaries, unless they are full of cancer or something serious like that. After all that I have been through, it's not the actual surgery itself that I am afraid of. It's the long term after-affects. Will I feel empty? Will I still be able to feel sexy sometimes and enjoy sex? Will I feel less of a woman? I wake up some mornings and cry at the thought of how final this is. I realize that it all boils down to the quality of my life...I'm still scared though, because I feel out of control and Trasey doesn't like not being in control! lol...any uplifting thoughts would be soooooooo appreciated!
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  #2  
Unread 10-08-2000, 09:50 AM
Will I feel empty?

Trasey, at five and half weeks postop, I can say unequivically that I do not feel in the least empty! I'm much more comfortable than I have felt in years! You won't miss the pain, and trust me, there is no hollowed out feeling.

All the very best,

love, sallyh
  #3  
Unread 10-08-2000, 09:53 AM
Will I feel empty?

Uplifting ... ummm... well ... I don't know how many of those I have .. but ! Your story is very much like mine. I've had pain in my left ovary since before my first period (11) I was diagnosed with endo at 21 (after years of hounding dr after dr and insisting that there WAS something wrong with me)

Oh I'm 31 now- have a 10 year old too - who has already been crying in her bed with cramps more than once.

I told myself that when my daily life got worse than what a hysterctomy would be THEN I would do it ! And boy ! It is ! There are people here 2 weeks post op doing SO much better than I am !

And as far as sex (don't get me wrong- I want to have some !)I figure it won't be worse than it is NOW ! I'm bleeding all the time and if I'm not bleeding long enough to have sex I really just want to get it over with so I can curl up in a ball ! How could sex not be better for me a couple months from now that it is now !

when you've done everything else and this is your only option left - you have no choice but to cling to it like hope !

Friday the 13th is the luckiest day of the year !! I'm on the 11th. Oh and about the ovaries- TALK to your dr. I was also very attached to my ovaries when I chose hysterectomy but there are times when it is sometimes better to let them go. But the dr probably won't have a crystal clear idea of that until he is inside.

I don't know how you will feel. I've done all the emotions many times over in the last couple weeks. I think there must be a normal grieving process that everyone goes through. I really am SO sure that I will feel better though and wish it had been done sooner !
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  #4  
Unread 10-08-2000, 09:59 AM
Will I feel empty?

Trasey,
I think your fears are perfectly normal and I'll bet there are several sisters out there that will tell you their stories on how they came to terms with surgery.

Your question, " Will I still be able to feel sexy sometimes and enjoy sex? Will I feel less of a woman?" personally I haven't felt this feminine in a long time! You wouldn't believe how great sex is when you're not in pain or uncomfortable.

I ran into a couple of male friends I hadn't seen on 6 mo-1 yr on Friday. One commented on how great I looked, how I looked truly happy. I smiled, gave him a hug and thanked him. What I was thinking was... here I am feeling good for the 1st time in months and hormonally balanced to boot!

Before surgery I was so uncomfortable and in order not to be in pain had started compensating how I did ordinary things in life. Which for me was no way to live.

Post-op...I have my life back and feel fantastic!

Do I feel feminine, yes 100%. Am I still feminine--you'd better believe it- Comfortable and confident in my femininity : )

Hugs,
Paige
SLH BSO
9/22/00
  #5  
Unread 10-08-2000, 10:07 AM
Will I feel empty?

Trasey-
I guess I can't quite identify with what you are feeling. I don't equate my uterus with my sexuality or my womanhood. I had 3 c-sections and the last one, the Dr. asked me if I wanted to try to deliver natural, so I would "feel like a woman" (get real!) Male DR. of course. I felt totally like a woman cuz no man could ever deal with the pain of c-section, lol.
Sexuality is 90% attitude. From the pain you've been going through, my question would be, how sexy do you feel these days when you are hurting all the time? Anything should be better than what you have had to endure.
Imagine actually looking forward to sex with your husband, instead of that nagging question in the back of your mind about how much it is going to hurt.
Because you feel the way you feel, give yourself time to morn the loss of your reproductive organs, but also realize that they do not define who you are.
Hope this helped.
  #6  
Unread 10-08-2000, 11:45 AM
Will I feel empty?

Am I reading about myself in your story Kim, or what? You are so right about daily life...ARGH! I am so tired of feeling yucky all the time. Friday the 13th has always been a lucky day for me...strange to those who are superstitious...but not for me. You're going on the 11th? I look forward to sharing our experiences and it feels sooooooo good knowing I am not alone!!!!!!!! Thank you!
  #7  
Unread 10-08-2000, 11:52 AM
Will I feel empty?

Paigee, I loved your story about running into a couple of male friends...that must've felt so good. You make a lot of sense about feeling more feminine. How can you feel sexy when you're in pain all the time..so true...I really don't know what it's like to NOT feel uncomfortable and in pain. It must be sort of like not knowing you need glasses and then when you get them, you can't believe how well you can see and that you went so long without them. I also find myself compensating everyday tasks. Finally, I am beginning to look forward to getting this done. Thank you for your words of wisdom. <a great big hug back to you
  #8  
Unread 10-08-2000, 11:57 AM
Will I feel empty?

Oh Kat2u....Sounds like a real sensitive doc you encountered! (rolling eyes) I had a c-section too and I agree-no man could handle the pain of a c-section or any of these things we as woman inevitably face. Hmmm...painless sex...now there's a concept! I am anxious to find out about that. I don't remember ever having sex, when it didn't hurt! You are 1000% right-sex IS 90% attitude. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if my attitude about EVERYTHING improved after this...can you tell your response is helping? Thank you!
  #9  
Unread 10-08-2000, 11:59 AM
Will I feel empty?

Thank you Sallyh! And the very best to you too!
  #10  
Unread 10-08-2000, 06:53 PM
Will I feel empty?

Trasey you will probably find yourself in a LOT of stories here !! The sisters here understand how you have to hurry home from the store since you started bleeding - doesn't matter if you have a pad on "in case" or not you know you have to get home ASAP and get on another couple ! (Happened to me last week )

Yes and the pain all the time. Only sometimes it is WORSE.

I am seriously ready to do anything to end it !! You can only live with so much before you get DESPERATE !
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