TVH: Really frustrated

My TVH/ vag vault suspension/cystocele repair/ sling is scheduled for Sept 16(mon) and my "best friend" is not acting very friend like. She is giving me all these lectures about me smoking. I know it's bad. I know I should quit. I know it will help with recovery. But enough already! I am stressed and it is very difficult to even cut back right now! I have so much to think about trying to get fmla etc and all I really need is a supportive friend and instead I get a nagging *****. Ugh! Sorry I just needed to vent. I'm a giant ball of nerves!

Luv2,

I understand, I didn't have anyone (except the docs) pressuring me to quit - I went into overdrive with smoking and food the 2 weeks prior to surgery.

I don't know your friend, but try to remember that everyone handles their nerves differently. She is probably nervous for you and this is the only thing she 'thinks' she can control.

Try to have a calm convo with her explaining that you appreciate her concern but right now you really can handle only positive thoughts and words. Hopefully!!!

I know it is not recommended but I had my last smoke walking in to the hospital. I was scared I would be dying stuck in the room without smoke but to be honest I didn't even think about them while in.

You will do great

Paper,
Thank you for sheading some light on what may be causing my friend to act this way. I really do need all the positive thoughts I can get right now because a I'm sure you can imagine my mind is running away with itself and it's long list of "what it's". Counting down now- and I'm just as nervous as I am excited to be done with the issues that got me to this point. Thanks for your support!

I agree your friend may be acting out of stress. I'm sure she's worried and this may be her way of trying to "fix" things. Of course it's not working, which makes both of you more stressed. I don't know if it would help to talk to her, probably you'll need to just ignore the comments and change the subject. I hope she will be there for you post op, maybe you could turn the talk to what you might need then? Pre op isn't a time conducive to quitting usually. I hope your friend lets up on the topic. Hang in there, not much longer. Try to stay busy with preps and maybe get a massage or something relaxing.

Dear Luv....as long as your Dr. and your anesthesiologist are comfortable.....that would be my main concern. Now is a bad time to try to quit smoking. You are under so much stress and trying to stop now would probably put you right over the top!! Who knows...you may wake up from your anesthesia and decide you don't ever want another cig the rest of your life!!! Hang in there kido!! You and I are having similar procedures ( suspension, cystocele and a few other repairs with my hyster).....I am sending you special thoughts and prayers. Gosh, I will be glad when this is over!!!!!!

Luv2,

Tell her you don't believe in "anything forced". Studies show that "pressuring" someone into doing "something" never works.

You shouldn't have to worry about her emotional issues. You have enough to worry about!!

I quit smoking 16 years ago. I HATED it when people tried to pressure me. Of course, you know it would be better to quit DUH!

The best time for you to quit is when your ready. You won't be successful because someone else is pressuring you.

Hi Luv2! My procedure is Thursday and I have gotten the same response from my kids. I too have been stressed and in overdrive trying to prepare for this. My husband, God bless him, I love him dearly but even he is pressuring me about how much pain medication I take. I have adenomyosis and endometriosis and I feel like a pin cushion inside out. I heard someone describe fibroid pain like someone trying to pull their uterus out of their rear with a blowtorch. PERFECT DESCRIPTION!!!! I'm stressing over not too many pain pills during the management phase to ward off addiction, not smoking too much because I'm scared of anesthesia, not eating too much because I already look pregnant, insurance crap, my self esteem, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS! I definitely feel you and if I have to have an outlet right now, guess I'd rather smoke. This will be over soon but everyone has got to let us take our steps through this. They don't understand what we're thinking or feeling, physically nor emotionally and because they really do care about us, they want the best. They may have a wee bit of an issue relaying that message in a less threatening way though. Good luck, hang in there and try to think good thoughts because THIS TOO SHALL PASS. ❤❤❤

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Luv2scrub My TVH/ vag vault suspension/cystocele repair/ sling is scheduled for Sept 16(mon) and my "best friend" is not acting very friend like. She is giving me all these lectures about me smoking. I know it's bad. I know I should quit. I know it will help with recovery. But enough already! I am stressed and it is very difficult to even cut back right now! I have so much to think about trying to get fmla etc and all I really need is a supportive friend and instead I get a nagging *****. Ugh! Sorry I just needed to vent. I'm a giant ball of nerves!

Well you won't die if you don't quit. My beloved 73 year old aunt just had half a lung removed due to lung cancer. Smoked all the way up to surgery & when she got out 2 weeks later (tons of complications) sparked up again.

I love her so I won't stop telling her to quit. But I can't quit for her.

It's her way of loving you. If quitting was easy, no one would smoke. It's a battle.

Hugs to you and just take care of you. And when you are ready to quit-- get help. Don't go it alone. You don't have to.

I would luv to quit but much easier said than done. Last week I was trying to cut back because surgery is so close but this weekend the pain has taken over any rational thought! Luckily my family hasn't said a word about it but i am sure if the shoe was on the other foot, I would be concerned about my loved ones. Now just isn't going to be the time to quit. It's an addiction that takes strength to overcome. If you feel like me, strength is not registering right now!

Thank you so much to everyone for your encouragement and understanding. My goal is to not light back up after surgery, but as you all seem to understand - it is an addiction an it won't be easy. But I will give it my best shot because I want to- not because someone tells me to. Thankfully my husband has been super supportive through all this.

So tomorrow is the big day and I don't know what scares me the most, anesthesia or the surgery itself.

Big hugs to all