i feel so sad

my surgery is on monday. I live with my husband and 2 grown up sons, i've just ceaned my whole house and scrubbed my bedroom (recovery room) ready for when i come out of hospital on my own with no help from any of them. Aought that my sons would have wanted to spend some time with me this weekend but no, i fel so upset right now. i just wish the surgery was over and done with i'm so stressed out.

mishno5

Don't be discouraged. They care more than you think. Men have a different way of acting when someone they love is going through or getting ready to go through a dramatic experience. You may want to sit them down for a couple of minutes and tell them how much you need their support. If you have friends close by, call them and let them know that you may need their help when you come home for recovery. Besides cleaning your house, go to the bookstore and get some good books, get some good movies, ones that "you" like. I bought two new nightgowns and some cool slippers to make me feel good. Get some peppermint tea, it helps settle your stomach. It may be a better idea if you have a reclinger to set up an area for you in your living room just for you and your "stuff". The bedroom will get old. Make sure you have plenty of pillows also. Keep in touch with the "sisters" let us know about your progress. One thing is very important for when you get out of the hospital. Do not do anything for the first few days. I had a TAH and you will need to stay put except to go to the bathroom.
Do not worry about the laundry, dishes, floors. It will drive you crazy, but your health is more important than anyones underware that needs to be washed. Take care of your self and treat yourself like a princes. If you have some time, cook some of your favorite things tomorrow and freeze them for yourself for when you get home. Hope this helps some.

hi monica, thank you so much for your advice. i have been so upset about whats happening to me, the dr's put me on anti-depresants.
i'm looking at it this way monday after my op i will be at the bottom of the ladder that i have to climb. But this time next year i plan to be at the top of it. it's time i looked after myself for a while instead of everyone else.

Mishno5 -

You may want to have them checkout the MisterHysterSisters site so they get a better understanding of what is going on since, as already noted, they may be uncomfortable with what is going on. Maybe they are just uncertain about things.

If you click on the "Support" tab in the upper right corner you will see a menu option "For Men"

as you are in to the last few days before surgery.

G.

Mishno, I'm sorry you are sad. People have different ways of facing something like this. I got really angry at my husband two days before surgery. It was a small matter, but added on the stress I was feeling. We went our own ways for several hours that day, then i asked him to sit down and ltak with me. I explained how fearful I was, how I would not be able to lift anything bigger than our little kitty for a while, etc.,. He had thought I wanted to have fun that weekend.
Anyway, maybe this will be a chance for your husband and two grown sons to see how much they need you. I agree about making some food, but don't worry about the house anymore. I also suggest what I did- I went out and bought some relxing CSs and a portable CD player. I am four weeks postop, and listen to some of this music frequently at night to relax me,. And come keep coming here- you feel alone, butg you are not alone- we have all been in you shoes! Best wishes!