frustrated!!!

I went to my OB/GYN last month for a consultation and check-up after several years of very heavy bleeding, pain, clots the size of my HEAD, and exhaustion. Family doctor discussed all the options with me and explained to me why they weren't options for my situation. AFter my ultrasound(internal as well as external YUCK) his nurse called me to inform me that I had several tumors (which I knew) and that they were in the uterun muscle. When I asked her what my options were, she said "well you know there is protocol with the insurance company that we must follow, we'll have to do a D&C first, then it will be hysterectomy, but your ovaries look good, so you'll be able to keep them". AFter 3 c-sections and a gall bladder operation on the same 8 inch vertical incision the vaginal was out as well as the laproscopic, so I was faced with yet another abdominal surgery. When I got to the follow-up appt. with the doc he said that he wanted me to take Depro-provera shots to see if that helped but in the SAME breath couldn't tell me why I was bleeding to the point of anemia, why I was passing clots so large or why my periods were lasting 2 weeks a month. I have trusted this doctor for years, he did 2 of my c-sections(only because the other was an emergency and he wasn't on call), he's always taken good care of me and my children. At the time of my last c-section I BEGGED him to tie my tubes, I just knew that I couldn't go through another pregnancy as rough as this one (I had break through bleeding and almost lost the baby due to the fibroids), this same doctor "lost" my permission slip that I had signed for him to do the tubal ligation twice, I had to sign it a third time right before going into the operating room that morning! He had always argued that I was "too young" to have them tied. NOW, I am 34 and I have been through the wringer with my periods since having my last child. After having the nurse tell me that a hysterectomy was my only option (HIS nurse at that) I was totally prepared (well you can never be totally prepared for something that drastic) for him to say "ok, let's do this thing and let you get your life back", but nooooooo, I got "you are only 34, you haven't suffered enough and your insurance company are a bunch of pigs, because of your age, they will deny you anyway, but it won't do you any good to get that hernia repaired with mesh until after the hysterectomy, so I'd wait on that too". I talked to a friend who has the same insurance company shortly after that and she said she didn't have any problems with our company and she was my age when she had hers done. My head is screaming SECOND OPINION, but part of me is so discustingly devoted to this doctor that I kinda feel like I'm betraying him by asking for my file to take to another doctor, what to do??? I just wanna feel better, my kids are only 6,8,10 and I am missing out on good stuff with them for 2 weeks out of every month, is that being selfish to want that time back with them? Maybe I'm just venting or trying to convince myself that I'll be ok and hey laying around and being cold as ice 2 weeks a month isn't so bad right? shewwww my fingers are tired and I know your head is spinning! ;-) Any suggestions?

Hello! I would d*****ately go for a second opinion. Ask some friends and co-workers who they go to and try one of them. It is always good to have a second opinion. I wonder why they would tell you that you are too young for this. I am the same age as you and I know alot of women my age getting this done. Keep us posted on the outcome, and don't feel like you are betraying your doctor. If he is truly proffessional, he will respect you for that. Not only that, have the new doctor send for your records. They can probably fax them to him/her and you won't have to see your present doctor or staff. I did the same thing, I had the same gyno for 12 years and I thought he great until I started having heavy bleeding, huge clots, bladder pressure, and lots and lots of pain! He never sent me for any ultrasound or blood work or anything for that matter. He just gave me 5 different types of bc pill in one year and I got sick having 2 heavy periods a month and just quit taking them. I found out by accident I had fibroids, and ovarian cysts. I always get a sharp shooting pain on my lower right side if I move the right way. Well my family doctor sent me for the ultrasound and that is how I found out about those. He recomended me to a new gyno who I love and is thourough. He is going to do my surgery next month and I feel totally confident in him. Well sorry to be so long winded, I hope I helped you some. Don't worry about your doctor, your feelings are more important than trying not to offend you doctors.

Oh my goodness, I would DEFINITELY go for a second opinion! Here you are missing out on half your life, and you "haven't suffered enough??" Children grow up so fast, and it must be heartwrenching to be tied up with misery so much of the time that you aren't truly available to them ::

Hi (((Missdawn)) Please listen to you head and get a second opinon. A hysterectomy is major surgery and you want to know all your options before doing this and at your relatively young age. Has you current gyn tried to treat any of your symptoms to date?
The idea of a doctor saying/thinking one has not "suffered enough" is appalling. While he may have offered you depro shots, etc. he also should be able to answer you questions. IMHO, even if a second doctor does not recommend surgery as the first option, s/he, at least, can talk to you in more depth re your current problems- including possibly hysteretomy, suggesting alternative treatments, etc.
You can ask your current gyn whom to see for a second opinon or ask a trusted friend colleague for recommendations; also many hospital have referral systems, etc. You really deserve to know all the treatments currently available to you including whether or not a hysterectomy really is the right medical option now. Please let us know how you do. Good luck.
Many and blessings, peggiesue

Hi Missdawn,
I truly understand where you are coming from. My doc. seems to be dragging her feet too. I know this is major surgery, but I've had almost a year to consider and do the research. I plan on keeping my ovaries, slightly damaged or not, I'm keeping them. I do not wish to take anymore hormones unless my life depends on it. I too am soooo ready to get my life back, try to be back to normal as possible. Some folks (ladies) think that the only benefit is no more periods, I try telling them it is more than that for most of us it's severe pain as well. Periods aren't the only problem, I could deeal with just a normal period. It's the floods, disgusting clots, and fear of leakage that is the problem. Last semester, I had two accidents at school(college), had I not had a long coat I would have died from embarrasment. I'm more than ready, bring it on. Hope you can get the ball rolling faster for you and your kids. I have three as well.

Get that second opinion. If your doctor is offended by it (most won't be), then you're better off seeing someone else, anyway. I'm a couple of years younger than you and desperately wanted more babies, but can't. At this point, I would just like to be around to enjoy the one I have, and to just get my life back. Keep fighting to have someone listen to you. It's YOUR body. They don't have to live in it 24/7 like you do, so you take the reins, and go baby go!

Five more weeks....

Get the second opinion...you'll be glad you did every Dr. has a different way of thinking...I had been going to my Dr. for 13 years delivered both my DS and I requested my ultrasounds and records went to the new Dr. within 1 month (after he did his additional tests he needed I had my hysterectomy 2 weeks later I am 3 weeks post op and I have a new doctor with my best interests in mind....wish I had done it years ago....Feel real good now..It's hard to take it easy I feel so good now....Good Luck

2nd OPINION!!2nd OPINION!!2nd OPINION!!2nd OPINION!!

follow your heart and get the 2nd Opinion, Please!! Over the last many years, I have been through many different doctors, (due to insurance changes), and I can assure you that they all think differently, and some of them will do everything that they can, including calling your insurance personally to try to make the point that you NEED this done! Good luck to you.

Dani

Thank you a million times over, and YES I AM going to get that second opinion and soon, I'm supposed to have another visit from Aunt Flo tomorrow, seems like only last week she left town, oh that's right , it WAS last week ugggggg,, I'll keep ya posted, xoxoxoxo to all my sisters!