This may be stupid but.......

I think I'm going to miss having a period. Not the horrible pain and clots and not being able to get out of bed, but the period itself. I don't know how to explain it. I am 42, started having my period when I was 8. I don't remember a time I didn't have a period.

Did any of you experience that? I know it sounds bizarre and I will be SO glad for all of this to be over. I've had endo, cysts and tumore taken out, two years later one of my ovaries and here it is three years and it's started all over. My surgery is 1/25 and I can't wait, and yet, I think it's going to be so strange not to have my period.

Ok, maybe I'm just weird, but I just keep thinking about it. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this.

NOPE! Can't say that I, even once, thought of missing my period.

All the cons out weigh the pros. Wait a minute...are there any PROS?

I am not sure why you are feeling this way. Maybe you feel that not having periods is taking away your feelings of being a woman? I can guarantee you'll still feel like a woman after all is said and done! Maybe it's a feeling of permanency - the fact that a hysterectomy is FINAL in terms of periods? Maybe it's a feeling of giving something up that was a part of you for so long? A sense of loss and mourning?

Well, sister, don't mourn too long over this. If you have been experiencing pain, embarrassment, hormonal problems and other physical and mental issues, then I think saying goodbye to periods will be more of a relief than a longing for!

Ride out these feelings and soon you will realize, I believe, that what you find you have missed is all the freedom you have not had!

Good luck to you!

Hugs,

Sarah

Hi!

I'm almost six weeks post op. I had an SAH, kept ovaries. Was diagnosed with a complex ovarian cyst on my right ovary. Had no pain but 2 days out of 7 day period were very heavy.

Anyway, I understand how you're feeling. I have a feeling of loss and sadness. I'm 47 and have 2 wonderful boys. I always longed to have one more child. (my mom always wanted me to have a girl) I am way past the age for anymore children, but I do feel a loss.

I know it was necessary to remove the cyst. The cyst ended up being simple and on my pelvis. I don't know that my uterus needed removal. I think I could have dealt with a few days of heavy periods for a few more years. I didn't have pain or any of the major problems many of the ladies here have.

I can't put my finger on the precise feeling but, I guess to me, not having my period makes me feel a loss of my youth.

However, with all the problems you are listing, I think that having this surgery will be a Godsend. Physically you will be feeling like a new person, no pain, no endo and no cysts. In time the feeling of loss will probably subside.

God Bless,
Joanne

I can relate, too. I knew I wasn't going to miss the pain or mess, but still, there was a lingering feeling that I couldn't quite describe. I knew it wasn't sadness over the loss of my uterus, although that is very common, too.

Then it suddenly hit me -- what I was afraid of wasn't missing periods, I was afraid of change -- of the unknown. It had been so long since I hadn't had to think about a monthly cycle that it had become ingrained in me. Even if it was unpleasant, at least it was dependable!

I can share that, since surgery, the only thoughts I've had related to my lack of periods have been happy, relieved thoughts, which you've heard detailed by other sisters here.

I wish you the best.

You are not being stupid, while I certainly did not miss my periods specifically, I did mourn the loss of my uterus. Some didn't understand as it gave me so much trouble. But I certainly did feel different and imcomplete for a while and then I came to terms with the fact that the uterus does not make a woman. I am who I am because of who I am.....Lord, did that make sense?..lol
I hope you find peace within yourself and I am sure you will get through this in time.

I had a bit of apprehension in the pre-op days. I was concerned that "losing" this body part (okay, I know I wasn't going to misplace it!) would cause my DH to think less of me for some reason. I even had a tearful afternoon when I broke down and told him as much.

His response was perfect. He wouldn't think less of me if I cut/colored my hair, got a tattoo, or pierced something unusual. He didn't marry my uterus.

Here at the 9 month post-op mark, I can tell you that I'm truly liberated now, because I'm no longer scheduling 1/4 of my life around mess and inconvenience. I nearly break out in a happy dance as I skip over "that aisle" in the grocery store. I can wear khaki pants whenever I want. The only drawback I can find so far is that my DH is convinced it was my uterus that let me find the tv remote. He says I had an Extra-sensorectomy.

Oh, I did spend a couple of months holding my breath. I was just sure that on the third week of the month I would have to make a mad dash to clean up and get supplies at the store. WHEW - never happened.

It's okay to be nervous, worried, sad, even afraid. It's the unknown, unpredictable future and you're facing it square on. You're about to surprise yourself with how truly strong you are. You're going to learn more about your bowel function and the importance of water than you ever wanted to know. You're going to want to party over being able to tie your own shoes again or walk around the block.

You're going to learn just what an amazing woman you ar, one small step at a time. And we'll be here to cheer you on every step of the way!

Hey, it's not stupid! Forget that...it's all valid!

I can't say that I miss all the endo pain and the other pain,as I too had a tumour and cysts as well as adenomyosis and adhesions and fibroids. I always joked it was "buy one gynae condition get them all free"...kind of thing!

I also had periods from 9, and basically have never known any different in how they could be.
I had gone for a year without them before due to the treatment I was on for the endo and hadn't missed them at all at that time.

Now, i'm 18 months post hysterectomy...do I miss all the pain, no, is the simple answer. And neither do I miss the endless circus of trips to the hospital and being poked, prodded or treated.

I don't really ever think about having a period, mainly due to the fact that for me, my body hated estrogen and the "normal" hormones it creates and made my life a living hell.

But in a curious kind of way, I "miss" the normality of being like my friends. I'm now 32, I was 30, and it's "normal" to talk about periods and having babies...I get to talk about the menopause and I can't have kids. Please read my other posts about greiving for this if it's relevant.....if it's not, lets just leave it at that it is the single most painful thing I've ever done emotionally and physically.
So if my periods had been "normal" I guess I would have missed the "normality" of them....if you know what I mean.

Anyway I wish you well with your surgery. I hope all goes well for you, and have faith that life afterwards is fantastic!!!

Hugs
Blade x

Hi Ladies,
It is a rite of passage when we are little girls, we all await our time, when we will be like everyone else, we will be women. It is so understandable to 'miss' your periods. Luckily I am one who got to keep hers, no pain, no mess to speak of, but still enough to remember that I am woman, and all woman.

Hugs
Kat

Interesting posts.

I was very fortunate in that my mother taught me that there are several rights of passage in a woman's life. One is getting her period, another is the day her period ceases.

As I went into the surgery I refected on it as a right of passage into maturity and freedom! I could travel without worry, have sex without birth control, wear white whenever I pleased, be free from pain, and all kinds of wonderful things that I can't remember just now (hey, it's late!).

I waited until almost four weeks after my surgery to part with my tampons and pads. It was the weirdest feeling to know that from that point forward I would live in a house without "supplies". Instead, I now have a nice little wooden box where I will be putting the money I would have spent on my monthly tampons, pads, Biz, Motrin, etc. It will be my mad money to spend on any crazy thing I want.

My Mom just asked me today, "So, how many periods have you missed since your hyst?"

My reply.....(after a quite puzzled look)....."Who's counting?!!"

I *honestly* NEVER think about any of it, let alone how many I have "missed."

I think al ot of feelings must have something to do with upbringings, culture, or whatever.

Good luck to you!

Reggae
LSH in Chicago, IL on 9/21