Hubbies Have Questions too

My 57 yr old princess in undergoing DiVinci Robotic surgery right now, today. I'm sitting in the hospital waiting for her to hit the recovery room in the next 2 hours. I can't help but to think if there is something I haven't thought of to help her out both emotionally and physically when she comes home. I expect to bring her home tomorrow. I've read this site extensively and other than the normal things on this web site for Misters such as having a room ready, preparing for her return home, food pantry full(and I know how to cook), meds (pain killers, stool softeners, gas-X) on hand, etc, is there anything else that would make her recovery at home easier. I'm open to any suggestions that will make her feel better.

While she's in recovery, she may have a wolloping sore throat from the respirator tube- if so, that's normal and gargling with warm salt water will help ease the swelling... and go down to the gift shop or a nearby drugstore for lip balm if she did not bring any- trust me, her lips will be quite dry.
Some things I was glad I brought with me to the hospital was a container of Charmin Freshmates, some cotton balls and a bottle of Rosewater facial toner- I was absolutely not up for a shower but being able to freshen up a little while I was in bed was wonderful.

When you're preparing meals, avoid anything too peppery- her stomach will probably be more sensitive than usual for a few weeks.
I found rice-based meals easiest on my system, especially Japanese food.

When you ask her if she wants anything, if she says no, follow up with some choices- like "Are you sure? Water? Crackers? Tea? Anything?"- it can be really hard for some women to be "waited on" and you can make it easier (on both of you) by being very, very clear that you *want* to be helpful and fuss over her.

If I thing of anything else, I'll be back... I hope her surgery and recovery are as trouble free as my own.

Delia DeLyon, great tips! Thanks. I'll make sure i have those things for her from the gift shop before she wakes, and I'll remember the follow-up questions too. Very helpful. Thanks.

One thing my hubbie did that I loved was make me fruit jelly (jello) with little bits of chopped fresh fruit in it (different fruits) - he made about 4 at a time in little bowls and put them to set in the fridge. They were so refreshing after dinner, and gave me a sugar boost plus fibre and vitamins from the fruit. I couldn't stomach salad or whole fruit for some reason, felt too dry and icky, but the jelly was really nice!

Awkward as it is she may need some help pulling her socks and undies on for a while, shaving her legs (men are quite bad at this!) and cutting her toenails. And don't make her giggle if she fluffs a lot cos laughing REALLY hurts!! My hubbie had to leave the room a few times cos he was really making me laugh - the rotter!!

Keep reminding her in the first week that it is better to go to bed and try and have an afternoon sleep even if you don't really feel like it, it's surprising how easily you fall asleep for an hour or so, and it makes you feel so much better. Tiredness seems to be the biggest cause of emotional breakdown!

oh and a nice pair of strong arms are great for help to get out chairs and in and out of bed!!

That's all i can think of! My hubby was a total angel, it makes such a difference to have that support, my recovery went so well.

Hope she has a speedy recovery x

She will likely get bored when she gets home because after the first few days you get tired of sitting around. At that point your only activities are getting up and walking around a bit. Maybe you could get her some crossword puzzles, work finds, magazine or maybe a book. My boyfriend bought me a nook right before my surgery and it has been a god send. I love it! I have magazines, books, solitaire, etc plus the internet all at the tip of my fingers. Plus it is very easy to operate. I am not a huge computer person.

I think it is wonderful that you are being so supportive and have gotten online to do research. I know she will appreciate it. My boyfriend has been wonderful to me through this experience and it has been so much easier having him to lean on. Hope she feels better soon!

If you don't already have one, get a grab bar for the tub or shower- if you don't want to install it permanently, they have some very safe suction cup models.
Don't ask if she wants it- pride or the wish not to be a bother might make her say no and the first few weeks, she may become a bit faint or dizzy at kind of random moments. A stable grab bar will greatly contribute to her being able to bathe safely. We already had one for my mom and I was VERY glad it was there my first few showers.

Dear Mr. Denbar,

You are to be commended on your commitment to make your wife's recovery easier. While it's important for men to support their women too, this is a women's website so we ask that men not register or post in order to be sensitive to the intimate female nature of this website. Understanding the theme of this "women helping women" website, I'm closing this thread.

Thank you for your understanding.