2 pre ops today and gettin nervous

Hello , I got to my pre ops today one with my gyn and one at the hospital .. this is really starting to feel real to me the fact that Ill soon be cut open is starting to set in , along with the fear! ... and the weird thing is even tho I know that Ill never be able to have children , its like my subconcious wont let go .. I keep finding myself thiking wierd things like baby names and How I would do things when Im prego .. then its like my concoius say hey Dumb dumb none of that will ever happen ....its really starting to get to me and the only thing i have to take for stress is Vistaril wich is about like benadryl and just knocks you out .. I cant even take one today or Ill miss my apt .
I will also find out today if i get to keep my cervix and if have to do bowel prep ... ugh what a day I havent even had my first cup of coffee and Ive already been crying

p.s. is there a way to add images to the post ? Id be glad to show an example of how bloated a 10 cm tumor can make your belly
... I kept telling my mom and bf that something was wrong an my belly was way to big for my frame .. they just thouhgt I was being self concious till we found out the tumors had returned with a vengance

violentjayne dear,
I am so sorry you are going through all that! I hope that your post op - healthy life will be a wonderfull reward for all this. Please remember that you have sisters all over the world on this site that are here for you, and sending you ((((hugs)))) and lots of loving support.
Hang in there!

I never really thought of how my bloated belly could be from my fibroids, but it does make sense. Well it must be obvious to everyone else cause my own mother commented on it. She said "do think that fibroid is why you have put on so much weight? You really look big"!
Needless to say, i was speechless. I bit my tongue, but it was in my head to just say to her "do you think your old age is causing all those wrinkles"?

Hang in there...I'm in a similar boat. I had my pre-op yesterday and I did my preregistration at the hospital. I felt a little better after asking ALL 30 of my questions, haha. He just laughed, grabbed my paper, and started writing down all my answers. He's a great doctor.

I wish I could say all the nervousness is gone, but it's not. In one week I have to go on a clear liquid diet and do a bowel prep. I've had gastric bypass, so I'm restricted from magnesium citrate, so I have to do a couple of enemas....very excited. Haha. I'm going to have to take a half day off work Thursday because I refuse to do it while I'm here!!!

Anyway, I'll be thinking of you and I hope after the appointments you will get a little relief. I used to take Vistaril, but recently switched back to Buspar so that I could take it in smaller doses to go with the situation I'm in...can't drive on Vistiril!

P.S.
I never related the weight gain to this at all. I was told I have a 12 cm cyst on my right ovary and that does explain my "bloatiness" feeling. I'm so ready for this to be over!!!