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Help I really think I am losing it today Help I really think I am losing it today

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Unread 07-02-2007, 01:59 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today


Luckily I live on the northwest side of Maui and it stays pretty moist up here but it did get scary in that the phone lines were burned and the cell towers weren't working. I got a taste of how it must feel to live near the Lake Tahoe fires. My friend's house was scorched and her 10 acres were burned...but all her things were saved...three out of 140 homes were burned so it could have been worse. Today just small fires are still being contained. The road to the otherside was opened...
As far as my health with this hysterectomy business...I am visiting with a family doc who actually works with natural hormones and compound pharmacy...didn't think I'd find that here on Maui! I am so excited. I will let everyone know how it went.
Take care,
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Unread 07-02-2007, 12:06 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

who am i - I'm alternately excited to get this over with (and get the riduculous periods to stop) and scared silly about having major surgery.

It doesn't help that I'm still living with my ex (long story) until after the surgery. Stress levels can redline....but am holding up ok. I've finally gotten to a place where (for the most part) I can ignore his antics and focus on myself (not something that comes easily to me).

I've adopted Charles Schultz's philosophy - "I'm only going to dread one day at a time".
Unread 07-02-2007, 09:04 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I am so glad you are not near the fire and they almost have them contained. Yes please let us know how the appt. goes about the natural hormones. I am excited for you and I sure hope it helps...Good Luck..
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Unread 07-02-2007, 09:08 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today


I think the hardest part was just waiting for the surgery. The anxiety of the unknown is just so awful. But if you need to talk remember we are here. I hope that everything works out for you. Is your ex going to help you after the surgery? I think that would be nice if he did. Well as I said we are here if you need us.
Unread 07-03-2007, 04:14 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Everything went really well with the family practitioner doc. She listened and is very familiar with getting the hormones balanced and working with a compound pharmacy. I go back in a week for my hormone blood tests and then will get some answers. She is thinking I don't need estrogen replacement...I still have a working ovary. My complaint is the ovary is developing cysts that aren't bursting until they get very large...and that smarts! So, I may go on birthcontrol hormones to control the cyst issue...but I will let you all know how that turns out.
Unread 07-03-2007, 04:22 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I was scared to death, also....and then my surgeon said I was smiling in recovery...I was so relieved it was over, I was alive...but also, I immediately felt like a huge blockage was removed and all my other organs were relieved to have their space was weird. But I did feel an immediate happiness I wasn't expecting. What is so important is to do everything they say here at this website during your first six weeks...(my doc didn't give me all these great guidelines) I have been following them and been very good and am speeding right along. I am pretty much pain free at 5 and 1/2 weeks post op. I just am battling evening fatigue and am being told that is normal.
SO, try to not stress too much and build up your strength with exercise. That will help with your postop and preop worries,

Unread 07-04-2007, 10:02 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today


I just wanted to thank you for your words of definitely helps. You're both es. The waiting is excruciating...and the personal stress of the ex is not helping. He's taking the week of my surgery off from work...i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. When I told him that my mom and daughter wanted to come up and help out (in shifts) he got really honkerblonky and said that "maybe he should move out and just let everyone else take care of it". Needless to say, I'm not a happy camper...I'm not sure if he's trying to be controlling by not wanting anyone else around, or if he's taking their wanting to be around as a vote of "no confidence" in his ability to take care of me. I tried to talk to him about it, but his attitude did not improve (he has some anger management issues that have cropped up) so I just went to my room and shut the door. Not my personal style, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with his stuff - I have enough of my own right now!

Physically it's been a rough few days - I gave myself a couple of days to adjust to the depot luprin injection (not too bad...just fatigued/spacey) then quit my herbal meds for the upcoming procedure (on doc's advise). Hot flashes, sweats, mood swings, insomnia and fatigue/spaciness all back in a big way. I basically crashed in my room for the last couple of days...slept whenever I felt like it, watched movies and read - total slacker. Felt much better today - had a moderately productive day at work. So far no ridiculous period a good trade!

Holy cow...this is turning into a novel (and a bad one at that)...sorry! Thanks again for listening, and your support.

Unread 07-05-2007, 08:29 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Do they think they might have to take out the ovaries? I hope not. I hope everything goes well with the blood tests and keep us posted.
Unread 07-05-2007, 08:40 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Maybe is wants to be the one to take care of you. Could it be a possibility that he is still in love with you? I would just tell him that your mom and daughter want to help so they don't feel like they are leaving you down by not being there, that it isn't anything against him. Men have such issues about things that we wouldn't even think about. Like we are happy when someone offers to help us, because we see that as a sign of love and affection, where men see it as a sign that they are unable to do the job and do it correctly and that someone else is trying to take their place. My hubby went through that, He never went to the Dr. appts. with me until my mom was going to go and then he said she did not need to go that he was going. That shocked me because he never went before. And one time when I had a heart cath done my brother called my boys and told them I was okay the procedure was done and I was okay and DH got mad at him and told him not to try to fill his shoes that he was not going to take his place. It was just ridiculous but that is what happened. I sure hope things get better and always know that we are here to help you. Don't worry about rambling because the good Lord knows I do it all the time, hey when you are scared and worried and no one around wants to understand or listen I always get on here because there are good women on here that understand and help, That is how this thread got started in the first place. Have a good day.... Kim
Unread 07-05-2007, 09:14 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

who am i - I think that he probably is still in love with me...but doesn't know how to handle his feelings. Having known him as a good friend for years before we started dating, I was amazed at how emotionally immature he is. (Which didn't really come out until after he and I bought this house together - a year and a half into our relationship).

It's not that I don't want him to be here, I just find it so difficult to try to deal with him. I feel as if I can't worry about what I need/want because I have to constantly be concerned with saying things "the right way" so that he doesn't go off. He listens, forms a perception, then reacts....and if his perception isn't what I meant, I haven't been able to find a way to get past that. He focuses on why he's "right" and I'm "wrong"...and whatever I'm trying to get across to him gets I've just stopped bothering. Not an effective way to handle the problem...but a lot less frustrating. It doesn't help that tears are used in his family as a "weapon" when I'm hormonal/teary (which, as you know is often) he sees that as a manipulation on my part - not a hormonal reaction that I can't find a way to control.

At first I thought that he just needed some time to adjust to the changes (us moving in together, getting engaged, etc - and this was before the TVH came up) so I've tried to be patient and give him some time to "process". I don't think he is capable or willing to get it together...he seems to want an independent, capable woman as a partner - that will defer to him whenever there's a disagreement (which he knew was NOT me going in - so I don't know what he was thinking).

At this point, I'm just focusing on getting past the surgery...and being able to move on when I'm recovered.

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