Nobody will help me.

Not as in you guys, you are always helpful and there for any advice or questions, but as far as the Dr's go.

I have been suffering silently for a few years now, but
I have been dealing with the worsening pain, since August and I had a Dr Appointment yesterday to get my hysterectomy scheduled.

......fast forward to my appt. I consulted with yet another Gyn Dr. (makes the 3rd one.) and was ready to set up a date for my surgery to get done. She starts talking to me and then flips through my chart. I only started coming to them since Nov. because, for one, I needed my yearly pap done, and 2 my family MD wanted to have me see a gyn specialist regarding my pain.

So anywho, she states "Well, looking back at your chart, you've only been having pain since Nov. and this seems like an acute onset. I don't think you will find a dr here in Albuquerque who will want to do this hysterectomy on you." Then she goes on to say that I'm WAY TOO YOUNG to get one and that she doesn't even think a hyst would help me!!!!

I then pleaded my case and told her that I have been having pain alot longer than Nov, it's just that I wasn't referred to this clinic until later. I also told her that my life has gone drastically downhill and that my pain has been so debilitating that I am no longer able to do the things that I love most. I also told her that having this pain has caused a ton of frustration and depression because it is not being controlled in any way, and that I'm having depression due to the pain, rather than having pain due to depression.

My words must've fell short because she then told me we could try other medical options like Depo-Lupron, and I told her No Way!!! There are way too many negative side-effects and I've heard a whole lot more horror stories than success stories about it. Then she said, "well we can do repeat laps, and if I see anything I can cauterize it." I just about gave up and said whatever.

Before she wrapped up the appt with me, i asked her what to do for my pain because there are more times than not, when it's unmanageable. She said nothing about it. Not important, pain isn't as bad as I think I guess. She said stick to the pain management appt. (It's not until the end of February.) Just suffer I guess.

I am soooooo frustrated and am crying my butt off over here. I've already made an appt to see the surgeon here in my town, and I am praying that he will help me. I see him this afternoon at 2:45.

Please girls, I could use your prayers. I just want to see an end in sight, and I want to put all this pain and disease behind me.

Thank you for reading.

Wow, that's awful - you're making me glad I don't live in the Duke City.

What a disappointment for you that you're an hour on the road each way to go to an appointment where they're not helpful! I'm guessing you're making that trip because of the provider list for your insurance??



I wish Santa Fe wouldn't be such an additional travel burden for you! The docs here are great.

You're in my thoughts and prayers that you can find supportive medical care to address your pain and physical problems.

I certainly empathize with how you are feeling - it is immensely frustrating when you feel you aren't being listened to. After all, you are paying for that doctor's time and assume you'll be taken seriously!

That being said, I can understand why the doctor(s) would be very reluctant to do a hysterectomy on a woman of your age. I can see why they'd want a longer history before such a drastic solution was selected. After all, there's no turning back once your uterus is gone, and it is wise to take all the alternatives into consideration first.

However, what I don't get is not addressing your pain issues. To me, that is almost unforgiveable. I would think they'd at least give you something in the interim to tide you over until your more formal pain management appointment.

I'm not sure what to recommend, other than keep talking to doctors until you find one that really listens to you. This is not the same as doing what you want! But a good doctor, even if they recommend differently from what you had in mind, will leave you feeling as though you feelings and physical issues are valid and have been heard.

Good luck to you and hang in there.

I appreciate your responses, and I am thankful that my sisters are here to give me their input and prayers.

Ellie, I understand what you are saying about this being an irreversible surgery and that I should do whatever else I can before resorting to the hyst, but I have gone through alot in the past 4 years and am very fortunate to have my children, so therefore my childbearing is done. My whole family is being very supportive, but they too want me to get my life back from this disease. I would never even consider a hysterectomy if I weren't informed about it in every way. My Mom had very similar problems as I did, and after so many years of suffering and misunderstanding, she too had a TAH-BSO at the age of 27.

All I'm saying is that I had a glimmer of hope that I would get my life back, and this Dr just dashed it away from me. This surgeon that I'm seeing today is aware of my background and history, so I will again plead my case and hope that I will get a happy ending.

Kristy,
I don't know whether or not you will find a doctor to understand your pain, but don't accept what your doctor said about "I don't think you will find a dr here in Albuquerque who will want to do this hysterectomy on you." Given your level of pain and how long you've been suffering and your mother's history, it sounds like it may be a possibility for you. (Of course, I'm not a doctor, but this is just my "take" on the situation.) Some women get "pushed" into surgeries that they later regret, while others are not taken seriously when they experience pain like this. As for your being too young, if you've already had your children and can deal with not having any more, then this is YOUR decision, not your doctor's. . . . I don't have any real answers. Keep doing what you can to get your pain resolved -- even if you have to beat on peoples' heads. Take care.

Barbara

It is very maddening when the doctor won't listen to you. I hope that this surgeon will listen to every word you are saying and take into account everything you have been putting up with as well as your family history......because yes, that does make a difference!.....and gets you the surgery you want. Be sure to talk to him about pain management as well until the surgery is scheduled.

I have been waiting for my surgery and hopefully I will have it sometime in April if we can get the insurance to continue to cooperate with us. I have been on so many pain meds it isn't funny so I know what you are going through. I can't wait for the day I don't have to take anything for pain.

Good luck!!

BTW....... I am 32 and have all the kids I want as well!

I have had a lot of Dr. bouncing, as I call it, also. I am finally having my surgery Friday. It is very frustrating and I am sorry that yet another person has to suffer because we obviously have no clue about what our bodies are doing. I would keep looking until you find someone who will listen. I know that's harder said than done, but think of the alternatives. By the way, I'm only 27. Keep your chin up.

Believe me, I know how frustrating it is to not be taken seriously! It has taken me 10 years to get someone to take notice of my pain and DO something...I also had years of 'It's your age'...OK...so maybe NOW, at 43, that's true...but I've had serious pain all my life!

I figured that it was all part of being a woman...but then when I started havin 17-20 periods a year...and more recently cycles of 10-23 days...each and every one of them with full-blown cramps, nausea, dizziness, heaviness....[fill in the blanks]....etc, I got to the end of my tether! I got to such a state that I simply couldn't go through it anymore.

My Dr is great....went to see her for the first time in November...with a handful of dates when I'd had a period (I think it was 9 since the middle of July)...and stated that I did NOT want HRT...I did NOT want ablation...I just wanted it to be OVER...pure and simple.

It's a shame that your doctor is not too understanding...but some of them are...and there IS one that will take you seriously! I know this sounds trite, but it really is true...keep pushing for the result that YOU want.....no.....the one that you NEED!!!

i am so sorry to here this. i just had a tah 01 /05 /05 at 31 yeah!!!!!!!!! but i went 5 years with horrible pain a period every 2 weeks,large cyst on ovaries so on.after my 2nd child i had my tubes tied,we have 9 years between r kids 2 was all we wanted. i was 25 at that time,never went back 4 my 6 week check up about 3 months after is when my periods startedto go bad!so i tried to get a appt. w dr. who delivered but had 2 wait 26days so i called around till i found a gyno who would see me fast serious pain i new something was wrong. went 2 him strarted pill 2 see if it would help 6 months with that didnt help, tryed the depo shot next didnt help, lapo next doc ended up cuting somthing he had 2 stop almost bleed to death he said it was my fault i wanted lapo duh??i new i would need a hyst.,but was willing 2 try everything first . ok after that did lupron 4 shots took a year dr was big jerk very insencitive thru this whole process after all that my dh lost job, which ment loss insuranceso for 2 years had 2 deal w/this alone it was sooooo horrible i affected every aspect of my life i never wwent more than 3 weeks w/out a period cramps started a week before and lasted through it.i literally had 1 week a month i felt normal.anyhow got insurance back went into afffect 11/26/04 first gyno w/ new dr.on 12/7/04 went through every thing she said she would get all reports from past host.sent me for a pelvic said 2 prepare for a hyster.which i have been wanting to here those wonderful word 4 so long. went back 2 her 1 1/2 weeks later schedualed hyster for 1/ 05/05.i had been sooooo scared she was going to make me go through all kinds of test again but no need ,so dont let them tell u no dr. wil do anything you just need to find the right dr. who will listen and care about you.sorry this is so long but i had a lot to get out .
i would also like 2 say a couple mor thing real quick i found this site the day i new for sure i was having a hyster i has been a godsent. i have been wanting to post but didnt till now so thanks 2 every out there 4 there storys and ?'s as i said before i had a tah took right ovary i am one week and 1 day ouy of surgery and feel graet!!!!!!very little pain already cooked and cleaned house (carefully)and slowly no i didnt have 2 hot a great hubby mom and sis who will wait on me hand and foot if i wanted but i think i was so mentally ready that it is helping me heal fast.
lots of love to all the sisters and future
sisters thanks w/all my heart

I thank God that we have friends in high places. It is sad to say, but a Doctor is not your friend, they see too many people a day to really put thier heart into thier work, If you have one, then blessings to you, as you know they are a dime a dozen. I had to talk to my father in laws friend who is now a teacher and surgern in this field, at my dad in laws surprise birthday party, we had run out of options and felt we had no other choice but to corner this man and let him hear what I had to say, because he is a family friend I knew that he would listen to us and sympathise with us and help us. I am still thanking God that my hubby pushed me into speaking to him!
After waiting for years, dr to dr, our friend went in with a laproscopy and couldnt believe how I could function with a mess like that inside me. Couldnt do anything during that procedure to relieve any pain but was right on my tail to get it out. I am a weak and a day away from freedom, I am 30.
I will say that when it is in front of you your emotions and feelings change, you start to second guess, mourn, cry you name it, you think you found your answer but got alot of questions in return....
I have posted a few messages on these boards to see if I was the only one losing my mind, I found out I wasnt, I still have a lot more to ask before next week, everyday is so different, it comes in waves and it can be terrifying!
I hope that you find the peace that passes all understanding!
God Speed,
Jill3399