Losing my mind

Ever since I met with the Gyn/Onc on Thursday I've been going out of my mind. I don't want to talk to any of my friends, their questions annoy me. I had one friend ask if I wanted to go to a BBQ on 10/4, I reminded her that I would either be in the hospital or recovering from surgery. Waiting for the surgery date is making me nuts. Knowing that there's cancer in my body and there's nothing I can do about it is really making me nuts. I'm so scared about what they're going to find, I just want to crawl under a rock. I don't even care about having a hysterectomy, I've never wanted kids so for me it's not a big deal, not having to deal with my period ever again is great. It's the unknown that's making me crazy, that and the waiting. I can't wait for this to all be over, and I pray that after the surgery that it is all over.

Hi Mare,

The waiting is the hardset part and nothing I can say will really help. I had to wait 3 months from the time my tumor was discovered until surgery. Nothing since has been as hard as that first wait, and itnwill soon be over for you and I hope with the best of news. You are in my prayers and definitely not alone

Three months! That must have been terrible! If I had to wait three months I'd have no friends left at the end of the them. I've even had dreams about returning to work and getting the same stupid questions there.

Thank you for the encouragement, if I don't hear from my gyn with a date by this afternoon I'm calling him and letting him know how freaked out I am and that he needs to get the ball rolling.

I have to agree the waiting is the hardest part. I also know what you mean about knowing there is cancer in your body and there is nothing you can do about it. I've also been waiting for 3 months for my surgery... it has been the longest 3 months of my life!

Hang in there!!! love...Becka

As everyone else said, Waiting Is Hard. You are in good hands with a gyne/onc and soon you will have your date. Hang in there. Please write & vent anytime you need to.



Ruth S

It is very hard to wait. I was lucky that I found out the extent of my cancer on a Friday and went into surgery on Tuesday. It helped having lots to do, too. I knew that I wouldn't feel up to any housework, laundry, big projects, etc. for a long while, so I did as much as I could during those 4 days.

The one thing that I did while I was waiting was to arrange my bedroom so that everything that I would need during my surgical recovery and chemotherapy was very handy. I moved the furniture so that I could get out of bed and walk right to the bathroom. I arranged the TV so that I could see it well from my side of the bed, and hung a little basket on the wall where I could reach it for the remote controls. I put a VCR in my room and put all of my favorite movies within reach. I also cleared out the drawers of the nightstand and filled it with stationery, pens, books, quilting supplies (Of Course!!! Big Necessity for Me!!), prayer books, little water bottles, crackers, etc.

I'm so glad that I made those arrangements because it really helped to have everything handy.

Maybe you could fill your time finishing up any little projects that you might have (if you feel up to it.)

S to you...hang in there. We are here for you...

I was dx with endometrial cancer a year ago at the age of 44. I was told that I was much too young and didn't fit the profile for this type of cancer. Fortunately it was found at stage 1a.....This type of cancer is typically slow growing and non agressive. I coorespond with another lady from the site that had this at the age of 29. She is taking hrt. My gyn has recommended that I wait at least 2 years post op to use hrt.
I know this is a very scary time for you.
If you have any questions please ask or you can email me directly.

Thanks again to everyone for your support.

My mom died from liver cancer 10 years ago, at the time I was so distraught that a lot of what was going on was a blur, but I do remember someone talking about not being sure where the cancer started. For some reason I think it was in her reproductive organs. I'm glad that I went to the doc, and I'm glad they found the cancer and I am so scared that they didn't find it soon enough and that I might end up in the same situation as her. It's funny, before I met the gyn/onc I was more optimistic. My gyno made me feel like it was caught really early and that everything should be ok (since they only found a small amount of the fibroid had any cancer cells.) But after meeting the oncologist everything has kinda hit home and now I'm just so **** scared. I'm still trying my best to be optimistic, and for the most part I am, but having cancer is just so frightening. I appreciate having all of you ladies to talk to about this, it's been a huge help to me. Thank you again.

How was your cancer found?? Mine was discovered through a d and c to remove what the gyn thought was a benign polyp in the uterus. The pathology from the d and c showed a well defined cell which means it is slow growing.
I may be wrong but I don't think the liver is a site that they are usually concerned about in the case of recurrence or spread. I am sure it can go there but probably not typically. Do you think your mom could have had colon cancer? Colon cancer typically will go to the liver. My dad had colon cancer (cured)and my gyn said that they are now finding a link between colon cancer and uterine cancer..not that the link will make you get colon cancer but if you have the gene you are more suseptible to uterine cancer..I had a ct scan, colonoscopy chest xray and loads of blood work done before my hyst.....all were fine.
Your feelings are very normal for where you are at right now. I worried about everything....every little ache or pain.....I would imagine to be something terrible (still do it occasionally)...I think once you have heard those words that you have cancer, no matter how curable or slow growing....the worries happen.....it gets better but never totally goes away.

MareSINY-

I think we have more in common than two women should. My mom is currently being treated for liver cancer (primary site unknown).

And I am battling a case of severe dysplasia that they still don't know the size of (3 months after bad pap, I had a cone biopsy last week and just got the news yesterday that they did not get all of the dysplasia and that my doctor will let me know on Thursday what my options are).

I understand what it's like to wait and wonder and worry. I did that for my Mom when she was diagnosed this past January. Now I have been waiting for myself for three months to figure out if I have to tell my parents that I might have cancer too.

I told my husband yesterday that I just want them to take it all out and to do it as soon as possible. I feel like I've had enough biopsies and waiting and tests and who knows how fast this stuff is growing and mutating inside of me.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that I have had no pain and no side effects and barely have had periods at all for most of my life (due to the pill). But I don't feel very lucky right now.

Please know that my thoughts are with you. Keep us updated on your progress, please. I am very interested to know how you are doing.