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rollercoaster emotions rollercoaster emotions

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  #1  
Unread 05-12-2003, 07:27 AM
rollercoaster emotions

I am having a hysterectomy on Wednesday morning due to cervical prolape. My feelings are like a rollercoaster...great...no more prolapse..I will be able to stand up without my insides falling out...but also sad...will I be less of a woman? I know the answer is "of course not" but I can't stop obcessing that what if my DH wants another child in a few years...will he leave me? I know it is irrational but I wish my DH would have a vasectomy too. I think I must be crazy....my thoughts are all over the place. I know I am probably not making sense but I just found out today that I am not a good candidate for the uterine suspension surgry and the pessary does not work for me so it is either suffer and fall out or have a hysterectomy. My dh is military and we live overseas and the surgeon is only here this week to do the surgery...otherwise I would have to travel and be away from my family for weeks if I put it off. I am reasonably sure that I am done with my childbearing..I want to be able to enjoy the children that I have..like standing and cheering at a soccer game without worry that my cervix will come out. How do you know for sure that your last child is really your last child? How do you know when you are done? I want to make the right decision for my health and for my family but what if I make the wrong choice?
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  #2  
Unread 05-12-2003, 07:44 AM
Re: rollercoaster emotions

  Quote:
Originally posted by KD Jay
I am having a hysterectomy on Wednesday morning due to cervical prolape. My feelings are like a rollercoaster...great...no more prolapse..I will be able to stand up without my insides falling out...but also sad...will I be less of a woman? I know the answer is "of course not" but I can't stop obcessing that what if my DH wants another child in a few years...will he leave me? I know it is irrational but I wish my DH would have a vasectomy too. I think I must be crazy....my thoughts are all over the place. I know I am probably not making sense but I just found out today that I am not a good candidate for the uterine suspension surgry and the pessary does not work for me so it is either suffer and fall out or have a hysterectomy. My dh is military and we live overseas and the surgeon is only here this week to do the surgery...otherwise I would have to travel and be away from my family for weeks if I put it off. I am reasonably sure that I am done with my childbearing..I want to be able to enjoy the children that I have..like standing and cheering at a soccer game without worry that my cervix will come out. How do you know for sure that your last child is really your last child? How do you know when you are done? I want to make the right decision for my health and for my family but what if I make the wrong choice?
Hi KD Jay! Mine is Thursday morning. I go up and down too. Wondering if am doing the "right" thing, but the truth is there is no "right" for me but a "must" do, cause am also sick of prolapse, and just want to feel normal again without all the baggage down there. Being overseas is hard, my dd and sil are in Korea and I know she would have a hard time if she had to do this overseas.

You mention you have more than one child..I have four, and even when I had my tubes tied in 1994, I wondered if I wanted more kids..but realistically the 4 I had were enough..and though I still am sort of mourning my loss with this TAH/BSO Thrs, no more "even a slight chance of ever having another"..BUT I try to think of all the positive things:

A surprise baby after you have gone on with life is not fun, they are OK but the TAH will completely assure me no more.

You will feel better, not have to worry anymore. You will go to those games with kids and not have to worry about periods, prolapse, etc.

I doubt your dh would leave you because you two cannot have more kids...or you could, since you are overseas already, look into adopting as by dd and sil are doing in Korea, even though they can still have kids. She says there are SO many kids who need a home there in Korea.

Anyway, I think it is normal to seesaw. You didn't say how long it has been since you were diagnosed, and details. Is a military doc doing it? Don't get rushed by this - often military docs need to be checked out also, and you need all the emotional prep. Could you possibly wait until you get back to the states? I'd wait til then if it were me - but email me if you wish. Don't rush this, if you absolutely do not have to. I waited 1.5 years after my diagnosis to check out docs and get myself mentally ready....you need to do the same, and just because a surgeon is there only part time, no reason to rush.
  #3  
Unread 05-12-2003, 10:14 AM
rollercoaster emotions



Hi KD Jay,

Welcome to Hyster Sisters!!

I'm sorry that you are facing surgery, but am awfully glad that you found us and posted.

I also had my hyst done because of prolapses of the uterus, bladder and bowel, but like flowersam, I put it off until I was totally sure that there was no alternative.

Unless your hyst is being done for a life-threatening reason, please, please, do not rush to have it. Have you had more than one opinion? Is there any way that you can postpone until you return to the States, as flowersam suggested?

And if you do decide to go ahead with your surgery, please go back into your control panel and add your surgery date so you'll be on our calendar and will receive a special greeting from Hyster Sisters.

Please keep us posted on what you decide to do. I wish you the very best.

's
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  #4  
Unread 05-12-2003, 10:25 AM
rollercoaster emotions

I'm thinking on the positive. I too have 3 children: 19 yrs old, 17 years old, and 7 yrs old. And two step-daughters 16yrs old, and 14 yrs. old. I am only 37, but feel the same. I knew if I decided on children again. I could atleast get my tubes untied. Then my hubby said to me that we will have grand children to spoil rotten. He had once told me that if could do things over, he would of had the vasectomy instead of my tubes tied. He thinks thats why I have my moods swings like I do.

Prayers and thoughts are with you.

Denise
  #5  
Unread 05-12-2003, 12:22 PM
Mood Swings and Tube Tying

To Denise -

Just FYI.....My doctor advised me to NOT tie my tubes because of the possibility of intensified mood swings. He asked me if I had any mood swings at all (PMS) and I told him yes. He told me he has seen way too many cases of these mood swings getting worse or if you didn't have them before, after tubal ligation, you start HAVING THEM!! Yikes. He told me the better option would be for my (then) husband to have a vasectomy....and he did. That was a much wiser choice.

Have a great day!

Karen
  #6  
Unread 05-12-2003, 01:33 PM
rollercoaster emotions

Thanks for telling me that. I never felt like this before I had them tied. The doctor never told me this might me a problem. Atleast least I know what wrong with me now. Thanks!
  #7  
Unread 05-12-2003, 02:46 PM
rollercoaster emotions

Denise -

My goodness your surgery is tomorrow! Take good care of yourself and hopefully your mood swings will take a backseat after your surgery........

I'll be praying for your swift recovery...
  #8  
Unread 05-12-2003, 02:55 PM
rollercoaster emotions

Thanks Ya'll! (Okay I'm Southern) Georgia Peach.

I hope the moods swing go away completely!

Take care all of you.

Denise
  #9  
Unread 05-12-2003, 03:26 PM
thank you

I feel better about my decision today. We will be overseas for at least another three years and I just can't wait that long for relief. I started having the prolapse in December when I was 21 weeks pregnant with child number 3 and it has only gotten worse. I turn 31 soon and although this is not what I origionally planned as far as surgery, I feel as though it is the right thing to do. I don't want to miss out on the lives of my children. I want to feel better this summer and be able to go for walks on the beach. I want to be able to play hide and seek. I want to be able to run to my children when they fall down and scrape their knees. I am sure I will have regrets...I guess most people do when they have to make such a permant decision but I know from my second opinion that things are not likely to get better and may just end up worse with my whole uterus prolapsing and not just my cervix. I worry that this could happen and my DH would be deployed (military) and then what would I do? I go into the hospital tonight and will have the hysterectomy tomorrow (wednesday) morning. I can not thank all of you who repsonded enough for your support and kind words. I will try to post on here soon after I get home from the hospital.
  #10  
Unread 05-12-2003, 03:32 PM
rollercoaster emotions

Lots of prayers and hugs from Denise for you!!!!!!
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