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What age to explain Birds and Bees? What age to explain Birds and Bees?

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Unread 06-04-2003, 07:31 AM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

Hi there,

I have 2 daughters, 5 and 7 and am wondering when they should start to learn about the 'birds and the bees' end of things. With young girls getting their periods younger and younger and also developing younger these days - I don't think it's wise to wait until they are 12 like my mom did! I was also in the dark around a lot of my friends in grade school who had older brothers and sisters to 'fill them in' on this kind of stuff. I don't want my kids to go through the embarrassment that I did.

Any suggestions on how to explain - I had some pamphlets from the health nurse given to me and was told - 'let me know if you have any questions' ! How in depth should you go with them at certain ages? I am being bombarded with questions from my 5 yo lately about why ladies where those things (pads) and how come I don't have to anymore (since surg.)

I want to be as open with my girls as possible. We want them to know that they can come to us for anything, anytime.

Thanks for any tips, tricks and info!
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Unread 06-04-2003, 08:05 AM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

It is a tough question, isn't it?

You made me laugh, though, remembering talking with my dd.
When my dd, who is now a teen, was much younger, I began telling her about such things. I guess I went too far because she brought the back of her hand up over her eyes, threw herself back on the bed, held the other arm straight up in a "halt" motion and said "Stop, stop! You're making me sick!" She was dead serious.

Too much, too soon!

Guess my point is this: let the girls guide you as to how far to go. You could do small introductory things like let them see you buy fem hygiene products (if you still do!) and give a very brief, matter of fact explanation if you are asked.

Go to the library & check out books. We used one, among others, that was just called Period, I think. I had that one home for my ds because, the poor thing, I made him learn about these matters too! But now he's almost 20 & not freaked out by that stuff.

Anyway, I'm thinking yours are a little young yet, but some girls do start having changes by about the age 9, so not too much longer.

I like the idea of having them just grow up aware of the fact that women's bodies naturally have these functions. Seeing the stuff in the house, whatever, so they see it is normal & not so scary. Do they ever ask about commercials on tv? That could be an opening.

Could you use your surgery as a springboard? VERY basically explaining that the changes you've had mean whatever...I don't know what you had done, but you get the idea.
If nothing more, you could introduce some terminology that way. They will have heard the word "period" etc so that later on, the ideas will connect for them easier.

Or just do what I still do with many different topics, check out some books on the subject, leave them out and see what happens. Anyone interested? Then, there you go.

Remember my mistake with dd & don't go too far too soon!
It was a long time before she wanted to approach THAT subject again!

Of course, you know your kids best. They are pretty little yet, but maybe they would be ready for a little discussion.

Good luck, sister. Not an easy one, for sure!

I wish I could be more helpful! Sorry about that! I guess my message is just take it in baby steps.
Then when they get to the age when you must explain in more detail, at least it's not a foreign & frightening idea!
They'll have a built-in comfort level re the subject.
Unread 06-16-2003, 04:15 PM
Talking - What age to explain Birds and Bees? What age to explain Birds and Bees?

I have two boys that are 22 & 19 now but I do remember that my oldest started asking me questions after they started learning about puberty in school, I think he was nine or ten years old. One of his first questions was in the car, just him and me and he was so embarassed. Finally, he got up the nerve and wanted to know if girls could feel it when their breasts grew. I held back the chuckle and of course told him no, then I asked him if he could feel it when he got taller or when his feet and hands got bigger, that seemed to answer it for him.

After that more questions came so I sat him down ready to read a child's book I had purchased called, "So this is how I was born?" with cartoon illustrations, when his younger brother who was six or seven insisted on being present, he did not want to be left out. So we all sat and I read the book and they asked questions and I would take a deep breath and then answer them. I didn't make things too complicated or detailed, just what I thought they could handle. I always left the door open for them to come to me and ask me anything and they always have. To this day we share a very special relationship where they are comfortable coming to me and asking questions or sharing their thoughts. Good Luck!
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Unread 06-30-2003, 11:50 AM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

My dh and I started explaining to our 7 y/o dd because I was PG. We used pictures of the PG from Lenoard Nillson's book.

Because my first dd had a friend who knew alot, we explained to her at about 10 years of age. (we wanted her finding out from us- not someone else) We used real words and very basic info. We also let her know that if she EVER had any questions, that it was OK to ask, the door of communication has always been open.

I have always been an advocate of using real words... there is nothing wrong with those words, but remind them that perhaps they shouldn't go using them in everyday conversation

I hope this helped a little

Lamb and Lion
Unread 07-01-2003, 02:28 PM
great book

My daughter is 9. I bought her a book by the American Girls Library. It is awesome. It is written in cartoons and easy to read. Very informative about growing up, but on their level. "how to buy a bra", pimples, periods and more. We read it together and she asked questions, the book made it easy to answer. The book is called "The Care and Keeping of You". The isbn # is 1-56247-666-. I bought mine @ Target. Barnes and Noble should have it or they can order it in. Here's a link to the book on half.com, where you can save some $$$ (just copy and paste in your address box)

Good luck
Unread 07-04-2003, 09:03 PM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

I have a teenage son. I can't remember when I actually told him, but over the years we've had various discussions relating to the topic. (As a single mom we are alone alot in the car and that seems to be where we do our most talking). As unfortunate as it is you should explain certain things to your children at a early age. I was told to explain body parts to him at 3 by a social worker who was concerned about 'stranger danger'. I had bought him a book, but like xenapw it was too much information. You have to be very careful though because I found out he was learning way too much wrong information on the playground at school. Actually it turned into a good thing because I was then able to explain the truth and that made him more comfortable to ask me other things. I've always been very honest with him in an age appropriate way. And I think that is the key--age appropriate. You want to get to them before their friends fill them with horror stories but not so complicated they have no idea what your talking about.
Isn't parenthood wonderful!!! Love being a mom.
Unread 07-06-2003, 08:22 PM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

My kids are DD -almost 8, DS-6 and DS-almost 4.

I managed to escape too many questions when I was pregnant with my last. I guess they were too young to care.

When it came time for my TVH, I had a little explaining to do, because all the talk of surgery and such had them very scared.
So...I told them gently about the booboo in my tummy and how I would go to the hospital and they would give me very special medicine to put me to sleep and they would take out the boo-boo. Etc....
For my DS's this was enough.. but DD wanted to know ALL about the booboo. So we had a talk about menstruation. DH took the boys out for the afternoon and DD and I had our talk. The extent of the sex part of it was simply that a uterus is where babies grow before they are born and she didnt ask any more questions about that aspect.
The most important thing is to make sure your DD completely understands.. but keep it age appropriate. I asked my DD if she had any questions.. and regardless of what they were.. I answered them honestly and I made sure she understood.
Shes almost 8 and already starting to show signs of developing.. so I am not sorry we had the talk a few months ago. She now knows all about periods.. and that she wont bleed to death.. and how to keep it from getting on her clothes(her biggest worry) and that its something every girl goes through. I was completely ignorant and thought for sure I was dying when I got my first period. I didnt want that to happen to her.

I plan on letting her know how babies are made very soon. If she asks.. I will inform her. Otherwise.. I think its important to hear the facts from someone willing to be honest like mom or dad, rather than gathering info from magazines, tv, and friends like I did. Also.. preventing pregnancy is an issue once periods start! I know we hate to think our little angels would do such a thing.. but I want to make absolutely sure mine knows NOT to do it and why. And once shes older and feels ready for sex.. we'll discuss birthcontrol.:cry:
I just hope we can have an open and honest relationship and prevent anything drastic! Gosh its tough to have little girls!
Unread 07-13-2003, 12:39 AM
birds and bees

My son will be 6 in 2 weeks, we have never spoken to him using kid words. Our thought is when he asks a direct question we give him a direct answer. Your kids will let you know how much information they want and how much they can understand, take you ques from them and you will do just fine. My son knows what pads are for and knows I will be in the hospital getting the broken parts of my tummy removed "the baby making things" as he calls them. My nephew on the other hand will be 8 soon and has no interest in finding out how the body works, he knows his 11 yr old sister is getting bumps in her shirt but that is her problem. Kids are funny that way, they either want to know everything or nothing. You will be fine, don't stress yourself out just be honest and open and they will always thank you for it in the end.

Good luck,

Unread 08-03-2003, 09:45 PM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

This is JUST my 2 cents....

I think when they start being curious.
Once they start asking questions- they are opening up a door for you to explain without preaching...

Just my opinion

Unread 10-10-2003, 07:40 PM
What age to explain Birds and Bees?

My son is 2 and he recently became intrested in my scar. I just tell him that is where he came from. He smiled. He loved seeing hs baby pictures from when he was born. We talked about all the maachaines and wires. He si a 29 wwek premie That is all he needs to know. I don't think it is ever too early, just make sure it is age appropriate.Be honest.

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