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What do you say to people who do not understand? What do you say to people who do not understand?

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  #1  
Unread 06-19-2003, 02:06 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

HI
I just got off the phone with my "friend"
Her twin sister had a hyst TAH like me about 6 months ago. I am only 5 weeks today post-op. Everyone at work had bets going on that I would "spring back" quickly and there is no way I would need 6-8 weeks. She works with me too (have for many years).
Her comment was "Gee Deb, my sister was back at work at 3 weeks post, but she is strong".
What ? Now I am not strong? Does everyone think I am milking this thing? I do stuff during the day. I clean lightly, walk the dog, cook dinner, do laundry. I am not allowed to work until my DR says so and I don't see her until June 30th. I am bored and want to return to work, but I sure do not need to hear that. I don't think she meant it to be cruel, just ignorant. The old saying sure applies now. "walk a mile in my shoes" I would like to change it to say "walk a mile in my shoes with swelly belly"
Thanks I feel better .
Anyone else have these kinds of comments?
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  #2  
Unread 06-19-2003, 02:26 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

(((Debs)))))),

Alot of ladies get dumb remarks. The best thing to do is just ignore them. If they don't get *it *,they never will and you need to focus on you and your recovery. When they try to compare you say well that's great, I am following my DR.'s orders. I want to heal right and not mess up my wonderful future by rushing things now. Then smile huge !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best wishes ,

Pamcat
  #3  
Unread 06-19-2003, 02:52 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

Well you can be like me. I just started my 3rd week post op and I over did it. Doctor has me back to doing absolutely nothing. I am not to lift anything over 3 pounds. I do home daycare and take care of 4 month old twins. My 13 year old daughter is doing all the lifting and really taking care of them. If I am not better by next week they are talking about having to put me back in hospital. They think i have hurt something inside from doing to much to soon. I got a real chewing out. Believe me I have done nothing since then. So ignore everyone and take your time to heal. Its like I have seen in many post You only have one time to heal so make the most of it. I myself did not listen and now I am paying the price. Everyone heals at their own pace the other lady might of had different problems than you. So don't let people make you feel like you are weak or exacterateing the pain this stuff really hurts.
Take care of yourself and good luck and God Bless.
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  #4  
Unread 06-19-2003, 03:25 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

hi I just had to reply to your message, I am only 1 week post op and in terrible pain. But my mother in law had a hyst 2 years ago and said that she had no pain after she got home from the hospital, she slept the entirwe time she was there. I was begging to be knocked out at the hospital! I already want to go back to work also. I couldent of course but would love to. everyone recovers at their own pace. hang in there.
  #5  
Unread 06-19-2003, 04:02 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

Boy! Some people can sure be dorks can't they?! At a resent family BBQ, my mother-in-law just HAD to tell me (3 weeks after my TAH) about her gallbladder surgery 20 years ago, and how she went swimming 3 days after her surgery!!!(whatever!) She said to me "Well, they tell you not to have sex for 6 weeks after you've had a baby too, and we did it the next day!" (ouch!) THEN, she said to me, "Are you telling me that you haven't had sex in 3 weeks!!!" As you can probably tell, we are not very close........ My point is that some people just wear their ignorance out on their sleeves. They just can't help themselves! It's hard, but I usually just smile and let it roll off my back. Everyone within ear shot of her story later came to tell me what a idiot they thought she was for talking to me that way. Speaking up at the time would have been futile anyway, I find that these types of bores only listen toTHEMSELVES talk. Just remember, you only have one chance to heal properly from this surgery. Now that you are over the worst of it, you don't want to go back, do you? Listen to your Dr. He/she has preformed this surgery before and therefore has the benefit of ACTUALLY KNOWING what is best for you. Only YOU know how you feel, and you don't need to make any excuses or appologies for not healing faster or for whatever........ Like you would have any control over that anyway! Do only what your Dr. tells you you can and just smile and ignore everyone elses advice!

Good luck and good wishes to you!
  #6  
Unread 06-19-2003, 04:06 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

Hi,
I am 6 weeks post op and have been visiting this website since right before my surgery. From what I have read, my experience is similar to a lot of other women's experiences. Around the 3rd or 4th week we get a false sense of being completely healed. It really is a false sense. There is a lot of healing taking place in our bodies. Anyway, we start feeling better and feel like we can return to normal activity. That is not reality. My guess would be that your friend (the one that returned to work after 3 weeks) probably regretted her decision but had to stick with it.
I was lucky. I haven't taken any pain medication since my third day post op. But....just because I wasn't having any pain doesn't mean I was healed in three days!
Take your time. Be a Princess. Let your body heal. And please ignore ignorant comments.

I wish every Hystersister a perfect healing and recovery.
  #7  
Unread 06-19-2003, 05:21 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

((((((((DEBS)))))))))))),
Honey dont you dare let them get you down. I have the same problems here. The only one that truly understands is my best friend. I thought I wasn't doing enough and guess what I have overdone it big time! I have to go get a cat scan now because I did too much and we have to see what damage I did. Each person is differnt and we all heal differntly. You take care of yourself and dont worry what others think.(I know eaiser said than done) I had to learn my lesson the hard way. I still get down at times, that I cant do this and why cant I? I hate myself for the little things I cant do, but, I know if I do it I will regret it later.

You take it easy and listen to your body, If it says that hurts or dont do that THEN DONT!!!!!! Please dont! I dont wish my pain now on anyone.

Take care honey!
Lori
  #8  
Unread 06-19-2003, 05:27 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

My dh just 1 week post op told me, "if you lay down with things like this, you will never get better"!
Well, I heard a lot of neg comments from various family members,[most taking cues from dh] and my dark side come out,[I am completely without hormones awaiting a compound druggest to complete my bio identical hormones] [excuse]so I added a stool softener to dh's med box twice and he came to me and said "I am 56 years old and have never in my life woke up at 3am to have a bm" and wanted to know if I knew anything about it.....well, I busted out laughing almost to the point of hurting my belly, and told him that if he did not get nicer and allow me enough time to heal that the next one would be exlax!!! He actually smiled and has been nicer!!
  #9  
Unread 06-19-2003, 07:23 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

My boss kept telling me she was back to work in 4 days. I think she mentioned it about 10 times. Ugh!!!!!
  #10  
Unread 06-19-2003, 07:26 PM
What do you say to people who do not understand?

JGBF... To your boss I would look at her and say... "sure you were".

Junie..... You gave me the best laugh since surgery... I laughed so hard it hurt. Thank you!
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