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Update/venting Update/venting

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Unread 07-12-2003, 04:52 PM

Hi Everyone,
Boy do i feel like i have been on a run away train out of control.... Many things have happened since i have last posted. In fact i feel like i have spent more time in the oncology unit and the hospital then any where ealse . At least i have found a great oncolgy nurse named "Debbie who always seams to be around when things are scary and getting to much for me and seams to know how to calm me down and i hope that she will always be around (smile).
Any way a week ago last friday i went to see my oncology doctor for what was surpose be a ruteen check up and to here the results of the Ct scan. AS i walked into his office i could see buy the look on his face that it was going top be anything but ruteen check up. He ask how i am and i tell him" apart from getting really tired easy and continuing to hemaridge out of control i am doing ok". Well he say's i have some good news and some bad news ( Now i am getting scared) The good news is that your CT Scan came back clear ( Hurayyyyy) The bad news is that the results of the last biopsy of the mass have come back ( this is the second biospy taken to determin exactly what type of lymphoma of the cervix i have and to know the exact type of chemo and amount needed to treat it ) and they where unable to find out the exact type of lymphoma due to it being but in cerlution which means that we need to make some urgent decissions here.

These decission are :- Do we try and do a third biospy of the mass and put of starting chemo treatment for at least another three weeks (taking into consideration that you are continuing to hemaridge heavely and your last blood count is 74 and should be 120 ) or do we go ahead and start chemo treatment with what we know and change chemo latter on if needed.

The doctor then said " let me share your case with another doctor and think about it and i will get back to you when you come in on tuesday the 8th to have a bone marrow biospy" ( A bone marrow biospy we had not even talk about that one ) ( now i am really scared and almost ready to wet my self)

To cut a long story short i went in on tuesday had the bone morrow biosy ( man did that hurt) and my doctor has decided to go ahead with the chemo treatment ( For which i have to have a chemo port inserted first thing tomorrow morning under general ansethic due to my vains being very deep and hard to find ) and this afternoon ( Sunday) at 4pm i am to go to hospital to have a blood transfusion as the anathesis want go near me due to my low blood count.

As i said at he begining of my post my train feels like it is running out of control and i cant handle it . I have never ever spent a night in hosptial which scares me me heaps ; I have never had a blood transfusion ( what if i catch aids or somthing); and i have to have a chemo port inserted which i really dont understand what it is or how they put it in (even though Debbie has tryed to explain it and i have tryed to find imformation on the web)

Help!!!Please tell me that it is going to be ok and that having my first chemo this friday the 18th of july is not going to be as scary as i think.
Time to go a have a strong coffee and try to calm down!! Thanks for letting me vent and for listerning to me i am sorry that it s a long post . Have a good weekend everyone .
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Unread 07-12-2003, 05:11 PM
Try to relax

Bunny, I know it's easier said than done. Just take one thing at a time.

Spending a night in the hospital should not be any big deal. I was in for four nights 13 years ago for hyst. The lumpectomy I had last December was supposed to be done on an out-patient basis. I ended up spending the night in the hospital. Didn't mind. Was kind of glad I did. I knew I would get the care I needed in the hospital as I have no family. (I am in a condo so I do have good neighbors.)

I've never had a blood transfusion so don't know much about that. Would think all blood would be carefully tested before being transfused into a patient.

Port -- well, I've never had one of those either. I'm sure it's more complicated than simply a tube inserted in your skin in which to inject / drip drugs. I did have a drain tube in me for a week after the lumpectomy to drain fluids out (as opposed to put them in). It was not a big deal.

Just take one thing at a time. It is all you can do. You'll make it fine to the other side.

Prayers and hugs, Mary D.
Unread 07-12-2003, 06:02 PM
Huge hugs Bunny

I have had a port placed in my subclavian vein, just below the collarbone. It hurt a little, probably heaps less than the bonemarrow biospy.( I heard they hurt alot).

As Mary had said, night in the hospital is no big deal, It is almost like a nite in a motel, 'cept nurses bug you every so often.

Blood transfusions, usually they are checked rechecked and checked again, so you "shouldn't" have to worry about that part.

I will Pray that everything goes well for you and you start your healing soon.
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Unread 07-12-2003, 06:39 PM

I hope everything goes well for you. i have a port in my upper arm and it was put in under local anesthesia. It took about 45 minutes and was no big deal. Having the port made the chemo much easier. I was given blood transfusions during my surgery and also blood when I was in the hospital last month after surgery, because my blood pressure dropped low. i have never had a problem from the transfusions
Unread 07-12-2003, 07:50 PM

Hi Bunny....

Your roller coaster ride will begin to slow down soon. Everything seemed to happen soo quickly to you. I know that it is easier said than done but try and take everything one step at a time and all will fall right into place.

Staying in the hospital is not totally terrible.. Think of it as a mini vacation... I did not have a port put in but do know that those that have, really did not complain. And the chemo...it is doable and definately not the worst thing .

Keep in touch.

Unread 07-12-2003, 08:09 PM

s Bunny

Ros is so right!!!! It is truly one step at a time. One day at a time. One procedure at a time. Don't try to allow your brain to encompass it all at once.
That is when it gets big and overwhelming.

I have been through many of the same procedures you have been through and are facing.
My platelets were extremely high before my surgery. Hence a bone marrow biopsy. A very strange deep hollow pain. Do you agree?
I needed a blood transfusion after surgery. I have myself convinced that it was soooo well screened. Two years later, I never give it a thought.
I had a port inserted in my chest two years ago. They used conscious sedation, but I was basically asleep. The small incision was sore for three days, but very manageable. I still have my port and it has been almost 21 months since my chemo finished. That old port is just like part of my body now.
When it comes to chemo, that too is very doable. They have great anti nausea drugs out now. Hopefully it will be much easier than you are anticipating. And we are all here to support you along the way.

Stay strong. I am confident you can handle what lies ahead.

Unread 07-12-2003, 08:52 PM

I now only have ten minutes to go before i leave for the hospital and i wanted to pop in and say a big thankyou to everyone for replying to my post . I now feel not so scared after reading everyones posts and reasurences . Thanks everyone for reasureing me . Karren I do agree with you on the bone marrow pain it is a you said a very strange deep hollow pain one though that i would definetly not want to do again........ Well i better get going finish a few last minute things off . Talk to you all latter.
Unread 07-13-2003, 09:14 AM

Dear Bunny,

You will make it! I know that you are frightened, but that is understandable right now.

You will find understanding nurses at your hospital. I remember calling for one late one night last Sept., (my first op.), and she listened, and held me, as I told her how scared I was. She was an angel. Your nurse, Debbie, sounds the same.

Also, I have a port, right under my collarbone. It went in during my TAH/BSO, and has been no problem - no pain whatsoever. My oncology sister tells me to take a deep breath when she starts the chemo, and I can not feel the stick going in at all. At first, I was a bit anxious about having a port inserted, but it turned out to be the best decision. I do not feel it at all, and just forget about it between sessions. For me, it is preferable to the alternative of finding a vein each time.

I, too, had a blood transfusion - for both ops. (I had had a metastasis first). I will be forever grateful to these unknown benefactors of mine. Blood is well checked these days. (As an aside, I like to say that I have a Chief's blood in me now; though not Native North American, I was in a First Nations Area at the time, and have great regard for the true culture - chiefs can be women, too, you know!)

You are in my thoughts and prayers, Bunny Rabbit. A BIG to you.
Unread 07-13-2003, 11:30 AM

One of my oncology nurses, Connie, sat and cried with me when I was crying one day. And this was before I started chemo. She also came to visit me in the hospital when I was in isolation, even though she works across the street. Nurses are true angels, especially those who work in oncology. I know that they will help you get throught this, Bunny.

I do not have a port, so I can't help there. But the other people who responded seem to say that it's something relatively pain-free that makes each chemo visit a little less painful.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that bone marrow biopsy (and am also sorry that Karen had to go through that as well).

Since you're starting with the chemo, can you still get the third biopsy done? Would it be possible for the doctors to switch chemo drugs if they find that they need to?

I'm so sorry that you're going through all this. Many hugs and prayers for you!

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