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How to Dilate....questons How to Dilate....questons

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Unread 10-01-2003, 05:21 AM
How to Dilate....questons

Ladies, I have been searching and searching on the net for information on this. I understand the general idea, so no problem there. I hate to ask this very personal question, but am hoping that those of you who have experienced vaginal hypoplasia will write to me. (either here or at my private email) I’m just going crazy on this. I’m having a terrible time now that my canal has shorterned so much. I have tried dilating at home, but don’t seem to get anywhere with it. Never can get further than about 3”.

The research I have done states that dilation for a problem such as mine should be done for about 20-30 minutes, twice a day. It also mentioned putting pressure and pushing on the area. Hmmm... not an easy task at all. Obviously laying down is not going to help here. I did read about an interesting chair that you sit on. (sounds kinky but if it works, perhaps I can find a handy man... Oh gosh I’m blushing here!) I read this information at a site that was for women who are born without any visible canal other than a dimple, so I figured its a good one.

Please, oh please, oh please, if anyone out there has had experience with this condition, a shortened canal and has managed to dilate, please tell me how it’s done. I know it’s a realy personal question but I’m just going crazy and getting really depressed on this one.

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Unread 10-01-2003, 09:33 AM
How to Dilate....questons

I have no idea whether it would help as i really haven't any experience of them, but I wondered if a vibrator would help???? I see you live in Holland (I have too, three times!) and so I'm sure you could find a various types of vibrators there.... Don't know if this would help, just an idea. Best of luck. Debby
Unread 10-01-2003, 10:10 AM
How to Dilate....questons

How intersting that you lived here... yes, holland has all kinds of vibrators. But I'm not even ready for that. Thanks anyway
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Unread 10-01-2003, 10:50 AM
How to Dilate....questons

HI Maria,
I found this site

and I checked for the shipping....Holland isn't on the list, but Italy was and it said 2.50 (pounds, so about 4 euros) to ship to Italy.

There is also a telephone number to call for shipping outside the UK.

My heart goes out to you sweetie, you are having such a rough time.

I hope this helps a little bit.
sending you tons of hugs,
Unread 10-01-2003, 11:28 AM

Maria, hope there is someone who can be of more specific help than me.
I didn't seem to have much shortening but was told to use a dilator twice a day after internal radiation to prevent
" things sticking together".
I used a lot of KY jelly and found using it in the bath worked well.
Can you get advice from your radiologist???

Good Luck! Maggie .
Unread 10-01-2003, 08:39 PM
How to Dilate....questons


Be patient--this isn't going to suddenly become normal over night. As I've mentioned before, mine was surgical scar tissue (not from radiation), but it took me months to get everything close to back to size.

A question about vibrators--are you not ready for them because you are not physically ready, or not mentally/emotionally ready? I used a series of vibrators. I did not put in batteries because I didn't want the vibrating, only the stretching. My first vibrator was only 3/4-inch wide. It was pretty small. And it felt absolutely huge to me at the time. Once that was comfortable, then I moved up to the next size, but always started the stretching session with the small one (my "warm-up") and then switched to the bigger one. Then I moved up one more size, always starting a session one size down to warm-up" before moving onto the bigger one. It was a long process. Early on it was painful, but that gradually disappeared as well.

Anyway, as far as position, could you squat down against a wall? Part of the reason this position is helpful is because your pelvic floor muscles are put into a more relaxed position, and it allows things to open up a bit more. Then you also have some control over how much pressure you are able to exert and the direction in which you apply the pressure. If you're lying down, your pelvis can move around too much and you won't necessarily get the angle right.

Astroglide is also a good lubricant to use. I actually like it better than the KY.

Good luck!
Unread 10-01-2003, 09:21 PM
No such thing as a dumb/ personal question

Hi Maria,
so sorry to hear of your problem with dilation............. I would follow Maggie's suggestion about a warm bath. Her advice REALLY helped me. My DH is an RN and he saw what a rough time I was having and brought home some Lidocaine 2% jelly and it numbed things up quite a bit and I was able to make some progress. But I think the warm bath helped the most.

Being married for almost 30 yrs I guess I always took our sex life for granted. After this dx and hyster, treatment, and now trying to "normalize " my life...I think my sex drive drove off !!!! Thankfully my DH is very understanding and he goes fishing alot so I can have time to sort this out myself. I feel at times I have lost so much ( my womb and tubes and ovaries, my energy and sometimes even my enthusiasium for the things I used to enjoy )
But I have found my VOICE and am more able now to speak the truth more than ever before ! Really irks some folks but what the hay..........anyway I guess I"m rambling.
I really hope you can get things resolved.I have always enoyed your sense of humor and your honesty...
Be well
Unread 10-02-2003, 12:01 AM
thank you ladies

I really appreciate your input. Yesterday was an especially hard day for me. I tried to call the dr but she does not take calls after a certain time. You can't even leave a message. Plus my GP is on vacation. I shall get back to my normal self soon, I think too I have some really strange depression with my hormones being out of wack. I took a hormone pill yesterday and ended up tossing and turning all night and my leg is really hurting me.

I have a good idea of what I need to do it's just that I'm trying to figure out how in the world to keep the dilator in so I can use pressure little by little. Ya know, something to hold it in place so I don't have to turn my knuckles white trying to keep the pressure on. Jeanine -- thanks for the idea about squatting, that's a good one. It's funny, I was even looking in a kuma satra book trying to find a good position for me and my trusty friend. Ah yes... a romantic evening at home, just me and my dilating device... I never had children, I wonder if that's why I'm tighter....
Unread 10-03-2003, 10:30 PM
How to Dilate....questons

I am confused by this. It sounds like we need to increase the diameter of the vagina again, but is it possible to also stretch the lenght also??

How long does this process need to go on? Is it just until things seem back to normal--are they ever going to feel that way? Or is this now an on-going project?

My husband and I are calling our attempts at sex our "science project" because it feels so experimental.

Thanks for all the good information.

Unread 10-04-2003, 07:42 AM
How to Dilate....questons

Yes, in most cases, length and width are both able to be increased.

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