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Courage needed for last treatment Courage needed for last treatment

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  #1  
Unread 10-10-2003, 02:21 PM
Courage needed for last treatment

Hi Ladies
I feel like not keeping my last cancer treatment but I know I will regret it. Has anyone felt this way? My treatments I'm sure are different from yours and yours are much worse then mine so I'm even ashamed for complaining.

I receive BCG treatments (Live virus given through cather to bladder to have immune system discourage tumors from growing on bladder) After I had my surgery for superficial bladder cancer I received 6 treatments once aweekgot rather sick for two days after each treatment but seemed to be able to handle it. Needless to say it did not work, surgery was needed during hyst for removal of two more polyps, tumors whatever. Now I have had to receive only three treatments well the last two I got really rotton reactions and sick. With eachtreatment the reaction will be more intense so I'm not sure what to expect from the last one. I know many of you have been thru chemo and radiation and that is so much worse.

I am so afraid I am not going to keep my appointment on Tuesday. I just want to feel better again. I don't want the cance back and these treatments are no guarantee, but I've come so far, I am sorry I feel like I have no backbone right now and am discouraged.

Please know my prayers are with all of you and I admire your courage.
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  #2  
Unread 10-10-2003, 02:29 PM
Courage needed for last treatment

Mariann,

I just want to encourage you to go for that last treatment, you're family is worth that. I lost my husband to cancer last year and I watched him go thru all of his treatments and I know how painful they can be, but it's something you have to do. You've made it this far so don't stop now, it could be the most important thing you do.

I wish you the best, be strong... Robin
  #3  
Unread 10-10-2003, 04:25 PM
Courage needed for last treatment

Dear Mariann,

I echo Robin's sentiments. Please try to make it through your last treatment. I also wanted to quit. But . . then again, I wanted to do two more treatments. (Couldn't, because of low white counts.) Even though I've made it through the "standard of care" treatment of 6 cycles, I'm doing weekly chemo. I want this thing to be gone! FOREVER! And it will be. It's uncomfortable, and I do not enjoy chemo or feeling poorly. But . . . it's my life, and I want it to continue for a long time.

Please pray about it. I will go to chemo Monday. And you can go to treatment Tuesday. And we can both think about each other and send encouragement from afar just by holding good thoughts for one another.

I'm so sorry that your treatment is so uncomfortable. But if you come out of this happy and healthy, it will be worth it!

You're almost at the !

Don't miss out on the chance to do the NED dance!

s!
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  #4  
Unread 10-10-2003, 05:24 PM
I Know It's Hard

but it's one last treatment...one...the one that will blast any cancer cells daring to lurk to smithereens. It's hard to go to chemo sometimes. I've dragged myself many times when I couldn't go because I knew what was coming and did the treatment. Yes, those awful days came, but then I'd be better and out and about normally. Just one more...one...we can all get through one. Big
  #5  
Unread 10-10-2003, 06:04 PM
What About Wednesday?

Mariann,

I know after I went through my radical hysterectomy and five weeks of daily radiation, I really didn't relish the thought of a couple of days in isolation for my internal radiation treatment for endometrial cancer. However, I knew my very smart gynecologic oncologist felt I needed that last treatment, so I bit the bullet and just did what I had to do to kick cancer's butt!

I would suspect your doctors believe that you need this last treatment to give you the best possible odds to fully and completely rid yourself of all traces of the cancer. Do you want to wake up Wednesday morning and realize that you failed to do something that might be crucial to ensuring your future good health? I hope not!

Wishing you good luck with your treatment on Tuesday.

MoeKay
  #6  
Unread 10-10-2003, 06:52 PM
You've been so brave!!

Mariann, it always seems so tough at the end. You've been through so much and you're so tired; you just want all this to be over and we all understand that.

Of course, you're can't do anything about how you feel, but you are responsible for what you do. So, it's really great that you let us all know what you're feeling. Now those nasty thoughts have no more power over you.

When Tuesday comes, I believe you'll do the right thing and keep your appointment. This, too, shall pass and you'll feel better just knowing you did the right thing.

Thank you so much, Mariann, for sharing yourself with us today. God bless you.
  #7  
Unread 10-10-2003, 08:15 PM
you can do this

Dear Mariann,

You really can do this! I read that you said you were ashamed of complaining......... DUHH

After a dx of cancer and going thru treatment who wouldn't have a down day. And being at the end of treatment....last radiation /or last chemo (tho I wouldn't know about that 1 )is a scary thing.........now what ?????

how can you think that your cancer is less than my cancer ??? or that any cancer is more important than what you are fighting?How strong and brave that you shared your fears. You can do your last tx and CELEBRATE your achievment...have a party.ice cream.chocolate........I will think of you on Tuesday and see only good things.
  #8  
Unread 10-10-2003, 09:24 PM
Courage needed for last treatment

Hi Mariann,

My thoughts are with you. You have taken a long, hard journey and you are so close to the end of these awful treatments. I know you can do it!

Beth
  #9  
Unread 10-11-2003, 09:09 AM
Courage needed for last treatment

And my prayers and good thoughts for you, too. You will do it! And, after Tuesday, it will then be Wednesday, and your last treatment will be over with. And, feel that sense of accomplishment, knowing that you have been strong.

A few days before each of my chemos, I have noticed that I get a bit out of sorts, so now that I see that this pattern has emerged for me, I know how to deal with feeling this way a bit better.

And, you are not alone in your feelings. I 'taxi' down to the hospital for my chemos, and on the way for the last one that I had, when the taxi driver asked where I wanted to go, I felt like saying, "To the airport". !!! But, then thought to myself, "Well, where was I going to be going then?" So, went along with the scheduled program.

So, all the best to you this Tuesday.

big
  #10  
Unread 10-11-2003, 09:20 AM
Thank You All

Hi ""

Thank you all for being here for me and your words of encouragement. I was doing so good thinking I handled it this far but I guess I hit a slump and was tired.

I have read all your pep talks and know that they have all come from your hearts, I am going to embrace today and DH is taking me for a ride out of state to enjoy the sunshine.

I have come this far and I'm not going to give in, I will keep my appointment there is a lot to be grateful for.

My prayers are with all of you, next week at this time it will be behind me and when I get my treatment on Tuesday you will all be right there with me.

Thanks for taking the time

""s ""s
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