Back to surgery AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Well, where do I start? Saturday a couple of weeks ago my catheter sprung a leak and fell out. Trip to er to get another one put in. Last wednesday I started bleeding, thru catheter and vagina, thinking it would stop I waited until saturday to go to er again. They packed me and sent me home and since I already had a doctors appt for the following monday had to wear pack til then. I went to the doctor, without even looking sent me straight to hospital (do not pass go or collect $200) to get checked in and for her to take the packing out and have urologist check bladder and take a few bioposies. Well to make a long story short my fistula which was the size of a pencil line is now the size of a marble.

So now I am going back into surgery to get that fixed, I have one of three options 1) take a flap from labia or thigh and work it between the bladder and vagina (no promise of it taking and having further surgeries) 2) take a portion of small bowel make me a new bladder and hook it up to where I can pee normally (Small bowel may be too radiatied from internal radiation treatments may make that impossible) or the one the urologist is pushing -- 3) make a bladder out of large intestine and put opening in abdominal wall and self cath for the rest of my life 3X a day. I am kinda going for that one, but I will get second opinion for this one.

I am so mad, sad, angry, you name it I am it. I want to blame the Lord for this but I know in my heart of hearts that this will only make me stronger. (If it don't kill me). All I want to do is zone out or cry. Neither one is helpful. Please continue to put me in your prayers, both health-wise and spitural-wise. My faith is wavering, but still there.

Thank you and God Bless
Jane

You have been through so much--and now to face more surgery with such choices--I can just imagine all your feelings right now. It is NOT fair! Hang in there and sometimes zoning out and just crying ARE the way to go to get the tension out. I have you on my prayer list that things ease up for you soon. Ellen

Go for it! You poor thing. I feel so bad for you, I wish I could be there to hold your hand or cry with you. I know you will pull through this and indeed come out stronger. I am with you in prayers and spirit and support.

Oh Jane, I wish that your recovery went smoothly and you didn't have to have all these complications. I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you are guided to make the right decision.

You are a very strong person, you have a lot to deal with. It is okay to cry, but I know you'll beat this and I pray your surgery will soon be over and your recovery will be speedy

Keep us posted on your recovery. Hang in there and know that we are here for you

""s

Dear Jane,
I am so sorry that you are facing this now. I will be praying that you will be at peace with whatever you choose and that the doctor will know the best route for you. You are strong and will make it through this! My prayers are with you.

Rhonda
Radical hysterectomy, June 2002, cervical cancer,1b

s Jane

Darn! Darn!! Darn!!!
I am so sorry to read your latest news.
You have always been such an inspiration for everyone on CC.
Surely it is time for things to get easier for you.
The burdens in life are not evenly dealt. That is for sure!!
But if anyone can handle this latest situation, it is you.
Allow yourself some time to grieve and feel sad, and then tell yourself it is time to tackle this latest.
And be sure to get that second opinion.
You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

s karenann

about your having to go back into surgery. I haven't seen you posting in quite some time and was concerned. Guess I should have PM'ed as you have been in my thoughts. and ....always in my prayers.

Crying and zoning out sounds more than reasonable to me. You have been through so much. I remember your kind words to me when I 1st came to CC and the good info you shared. What a blessing for me !!!

Jane, i continue to hold you in thought and prayer and know you will make the best decision for you.

Hang in there and hang tough !!

Love and many blessings

Please know that we are with you. Go ahead and cry for awhile. I know that has helped me in the past.

I know you are strong, and you WILL get through this. You are always in my prayers and I think of you often.

I'm sure you will make the right choice for you, and you WILL get through this. Just remember we are all here for you.

's and ers to you always...

Jane

As the others have said, have a good cry. You deserve it and it is therapeutic.

s and s

Ruth S

Jane,

I am so sorry you are facing these choices. now more than ever hang on to your faith. God really will turn every suffering to joy, wipe every tear, but it's so hard believe that when it's one bad thing after another with no let up. The very worst thing that can possibly happen already happened when we murdered the Son of God, and instead of disaster it led to The Gift of the HolySpirit and eternal life. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.