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dealing with teenage boy's dealing with teenage boy's

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  #1  
Unread 10-28-2003, 04:27 PM
dealing with teenage boy's

Hi all,
I am a mum of three boy's the eldest being 13. Any ideas on how to cope with his mood swings? Nothing we do is right by him, we can't even look at him without being yelled at. He's also starting to get in trouble at school. Any advice would be wonderful. Thank's all. Kay



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  #2  
Unread 10-28-2003, 05:05 PM
dealing with teenage boy's

Hi Kay you have my sincere sympathy! I have two boys, and my older one is almost 14 now and in high school; the younger one is 10.

My older one is starting to come out the other side of a really nasty phase.... sullen, disagreeable, disrespectful, all ugly emotions. I made a big (very very tiring!) effort to keep involved in his life. I didn't give in. When he was being nasty to me I made him do push-ups (he has very strong arms now!).

JMHO but I think the key is not to let them win. They are on the verge of being big enough that you can't force your will on them anymore. I view the preteen years as a time when they test the boundaries, and if you let them win, they keep pushing and pushing till there's nothing left.

Then... try to transition to where you are putting the burden on them, make them responsible for the consequences of their own actions. If they forget something they need for school, don't bring it to them. If they say something that offends someone, don't make excuses for them. If they break something that belongs to someone else, make them pay for it (I take it out of his allowance). They learn real fast, provided you don't make exceptions, that they better be good citizens.

Finally, the biggest thing I think has helped my boys is their involvement in martial arts. They are both black belts and my older one is a teacher now and loves it. Having to deal with ornery younger kids has given him a whole new appreciation of what I go through like I never could have. I don't know if there is a karate school near you, but it's something I highly recommend for kids who are having trouble with focusing or with their attitude.

Hope this helps!
s,
-Linda
  #3  
Unread 10-28-2003, 06:22 PM
dealing with teenage boy's

It's a joy isn't it? LOL My son is going to be 14 in less than 2 weeks, and I have a daughter almost 10. I have found that this age is very similiar to the terrible two's. I ask him to do something, he says "NO". If I remember to react the way I did when he was 2 and just ignore the no, and not go balistic, for the most part he does what I ask. I think the no, is just like when they are 2 and trying to show some independance. The hardest thing for me is to pick my battles.
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  #4  
Unread 10-28-2003, 10:25 PM
dealing with teenage boy's

Thanks Linda,
I'll take it all on board what you said. I suppose that there are heaps of kids out there worse then Zach. About the karate, all my boys use to do it but due to insurance cost there teacher had to close down and they are not interested in anybody else teaching them. They will once again be taking up another sport next year. I'm just hoping that now he is in high school the teachers will pull him up when he needs it. He spent most of yesterday in trouble at school. So fingers crossed. Talk to you soon. Kay



  #5  
Unread 10-28-2003, 10:28 PM
dealing with teenage boy's

Hi Texannie,
Funny thing this morning I WAS THINKING IT'S JUST LIKE DEALING WITH A TWO YEAR OLD. LOL. Talk to you soon. Kay



  #6  
Unread 10-29-2003, 12:41 AM
dealing with teenage boy's

I have survived two teenage boys so far and I also teach secondary school. And oh yes they are like 2 year olds only bigger bodies! Surferbabe had some great suggestions. Make them responsible for themselves. Insist they show respect. I tell them all it is okay to be angry and think bad thoughts but it must all stay in their heads. This is the next set of steps on the way to becoming an adult that other people want to be around. They are going through a lot of physical changes that they don't understand also. You may find they are incredibly hungry and extra food (plus water and healthy choices!) will settle some of the crankiness. They are often very tired but can catch up on weekends with 14 hour sleeps, unlike older adults. My oldest and I took turns for mood swings - I was in early perimenopause. And some type of physical activity might be essential, depending on the child. One of mine needed 5 days a week of soccer to keep the family sane - he just could not sit still. The other boy did not need this at all. Try to keep your sense of humour as this too shall pass!
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