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How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications? How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

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Unread 11-07-2003, 08:57 AM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

I was wondering, since, unfortunately, you all know too well how it feels to have complications, what ways do you find help you deal with the complications?
Yesterday I had to have the upper GI and small bowel series done, last week was the lower GI, and now I wait 2 weeks to see my doctor and hope he's got an answer for this pain. In the meantime I'm back to living a life IN PAIN! My life is altered, yet again, as it was before my hyster, except this time I can have days that are okay and yet I'm afraid to eat because I know, without warning, the pain will return. My friends sense I'm pulling do I go out to lunch with them without feeling terrified I might have a serious problem in the middle of lunch?

Emotionally this is taking it's toll on me. I'm grouchy, I feel like crying a lot, and I feel defeated. I don't want to feel this way, but I'm terrified I'll be stuck living this way for a long time, if not forever.

I have a history of difficult to diagnos health problems that were either dismissed or written off as chronic, UNTIL someone finally found the problem and fixed it. Having had that kind of history makes me afraid that I'm going to be stuck with this for a very long time. I'm also afraid of what would be done to fix whatever problem is going on now. After my hyster I've become afraid of hospitals. They upset me before, but now I am really scared to go back to one, especially the one where I had my hyster. I'm afraid I'll end up back on the floor where there's an abusive nurse (she withheld pain meds and was cruel to me during the night. I left the hospital the next morning, crying, and had to report her to the patient representative).

I'm sorry for rambling. I'm wondering how you all find ways to cope with this emotionally?

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Unread 11-07-2003, 09:28 AM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

Hi Rita!

I've been living in diapers for over 9 weeks physical pain, but mentally, this has been incredibly awful.

I'm facing more surgery and am indeed very scared. Hospitals are not my favourite place & I have a history of going in for 1 thing and coming out with another..9 years ago, went in for a tubal ligation..less than 6 mos later, ectopic pregnancy requiring emergency surgery..following that, return trip to castle for infection resulting from THAT surgery..Fast forward..TAH Aug 11/03..15 days waiting for surgery in these darn diapers.

Yep, if it ain't one thing, it's another. Note that all the above were 'very rare'..(sarcasm implied here). I just seem to pull the 'short straw'..I don't have a clue why, but I've stopped asking myself.

How I'm coping is to get up everyday & say 'I'm a little closer to a resolution here' & to try desperately to keep my sense of humour. Easier said than done though. 2 nights ago, I blubbered all over my nice new pillowcase. Then I realized that I was going to be very puffy the next day & had a plugged nose and thought..I'm not going to do this to myself!!!

People can be really insensitive about this too! I make jokes about my situation, sure..but to have my brother-in-law say 'How is the Diaper Lady?'..well, that's just a tad over the line. I wanted to slap him in the face, but for my sister's sake..I rolled with it.

I guess the best thing I've been doing for myself would have to be coming to this place. Just knowing there are other sisters who KNOW what it's like to suffer and can empathize with our situations is a true blessing!
Unread 11-07-2003, 01:05 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

Dear Rita & Melinda,

My heart goes out to both of you. Unfortunately I was one of the "rare" cases too. Well it's NOT rare when it's happening to YOU.

I sometimes had to live hour by hour. I was on 40mgs of Prozac....made me somewhat flat. Now I'm down to 20mgs.

It's a VERY hard thing to go through and all of us can relate to how you feel about hospitals, doctors, nurses....I too had a mean nurse who didn't let me know I could ask for more pain meds....

Just take it slow. It's OKAY to cry and feel sad. You have been through a lot.

I'm a year out from my hyst....but another 3 months to go from my fistula repair. Sometimes (as I said) I FEAR so badly that I'm going to rupture my bladder. Uro had to cut the entire bladder open to fix the hole as it was posterior....can't be good....

Just know that WE all support you woman and you can come here and vent/cry and we will understand.

Instead of diapers you can be catheterized.....That's the route I took with my fistula. It's kind of fun peeing like a man!

Anyway.....HUGS to you all,
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Unread 11-07-2003, 01:14 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

At this point..just about anything will be a welcome change from these darn diapers! And having the catheter means that I'm getting better, right? Gotta try to maintain...

Renee, you are one of the sisters I directed my comments in the above post to..without you being here to show your empathy, I'd be batty by now! Thanks so very much! You are a special person!!

What's the difference between an anterior or posterior fistula..sorry..kind of a dopey question but I honestly don't know.

Thanks again!!
Unread 11-07-2003, 02:02 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?


First WILL have a brighter your's so positive....

Secondly a cath will just make it so until you have the fistula repair you won't need diapers. AFTER the fistula repair you will most likely be cath'd (in two places) for a number of weeks depending on your doctor.

I got real use to a foley catheter....I was able to wear lose pants or overalls and empty my bad IF I went out. It's not the most comfortable thing but I HATED (repeat HATED) wearing foley fell out a few times and going to the ER I had to wear diapers....I was mortified.

There may be a reason that your uro didn't cath you. Did you ask why he/s wants you to stay in diapers. I have had problems with UTI's and have been on a low dose antibiotic now for nearly 3 soon as I'm done with the 3 months of antibiotics I'll do a urinealysis and maybe IF not UTI free go back on for another 3 months....sometimes it's not good to stay cath'd for as long as I was....over 4 months!!!!

Have you heard about the suprapubic (SB) cathether....I had that as well as the foley after my bladder didn't want ANY pressure on my bladder at all so it could that (IMHO) HURT....but it was ONLY for 4 weeks....only! YEAH right....

ANYway....please keep in touch as I so and we all know what your're going through....

HANG in there....

Unread 11-07-2003, 02:03 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

Oh sorry...posterior meant that the hole was underneath my bladder and my back side...and they went through abdominally so he had to cut my bladder to fix the hole...go figure.
Unread 11-07-2003, 05:10 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

Yeah, it's hard. I think it's important to find a way to feel empowered rather than victimized. I try to remember that whatever is done to me is my choice. I don't have to do anything. I choose to do something because I'm willing to take the risk and don't want things to remain as they are. I don't give up searching for an answer. And I always have a family member with me 24/7 when I'm in the hospital. ALWAYS.
Unread 11-07-2003, 07:57 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

Hi Rita ""

I have coped by trying to take one day at a time and try not to look to far down the road. I don't like hospitals either but within in a year have had three surgeries all unexpected.

It isn't easy but just try to focus on the day at hand. Attitude is important to me. My friend sent me a card with the saying in my signature during one of my down days. Now anytime I feel myself getting down I say it.

Hang in there sending you a ""
Unread 11-08-2003, 11:50 AM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

Rita -

Hello! I'm very sorry to hear about your complications. I was wondering what type of symptoms you have been having. I had a lot of intestinal trouble before my surgery and I had to have my gallbladder removed in May and then the hysterectomy in Sept. I still am having some intestinal troubles and I'm not sure if this is hormonal (seems to happen around my cycle time) or if something else was going on. From your posts, it looks like you've been having lots of tests done and I was hoping you are getting closer to finding some answers. Good luck with everything!
Unread 11-08-2003, 07:49 PM
How do you deal with the emotional toll caused by complications?

((((Rita)))) About a year ago I think I wrote a very similar post: there I was, 18 months post-op, having reached my goal weight and, instead of feeling great, I was dealing with arthritic pain... I felt it was so unfair... and I felt so cheated

The Road Dwellers, at the time, posted about just trudging on... because we have to.

It's all a matter of survival. We have to go on and we have to hope that somehow, someday, it's going to get better.

I figue I'm one of the lucky ones: this year, for the most part, my pain has been under control and minimal. The incontinence is still very, very bothersome.. but, I can live with... kind of... At least, it's not accompanied with pain. The IBS is always there, but, then again, it's been there for most of my life and I'm used ot it.

As you can see, we, somehow, develop coping mechanisms and learn to live with it.

And... when it's really bad, we come here and find the and the that we need.

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