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Questions from a rare perspective Questions from a rare perspective

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Unread 11-08-2003, 09:48 PM
Questions from a rare perspective

Hello,I first want to say that this site is wonderful and I really enjoy reading these posts.My questions deal with the fact that I am 45 years old,single,no children,and have had a very limited sexual life until the last two years. No regular boyfriends,trying to date...Question..I am really afraid to have sex again.I am only 3 weeks post op,but I am frightful about all of it,now.I have a stand by lover that wants to be with me,for cuddling and care,but I am even afraid to be that intimate,before the end of the year.Any help out there from woman out there dating,how do you tell a new date..Oh by the way I don't have a uterus any more!!!!
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Unread 11-08-2003, 09:57 PM
Questions from a rare perspective

Hi RosRyan,

I'm single and currently not dating, I've been avoiding men ever since my problems began this Summer. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle things once I do put myself back out there, but I think I'll probably keep my personal business private until I'm sure someone is deserving of knowing. I look at it this way, if someone cares about me they will still care about me once they know I've had a hyst.

Mary Ellen
Unread 11-08-2003, 10:01 PM
Questions from a rare perspective

Hi There!!

I'm going into my 5th week post op. My best advice to you is to talk to your doc. He sjould be able to give you his guidelines on when you are able to do certain things. In my case I was cleared for "outercourse" (read: external foolin' around) at 4 weeks post op. Really was worried about being able to acheive the BIG O. Well I am happy and pleased as punch to say all went well...even better than before surgery!! No problem with dryness, no bleeding and goodness me it was acheived quicker than ever before! Hmmm, I'm hoping I'm not being too awfully graphic for anyone here...but we tried oral last night and once again WHOOOPPPPEEEE! A success! I only had a slight amount of swelly belly in the morning and a teeny bit of soreness.

My doc said we have to wait until he has checked me at my 6 week checkup to get cleared for intercourse. Depending on how well I am healing we will either get the go ahead or have to wait a week or so more.

I think it's great that your sweety wants to be there for you. As long as he understands the rules it would probably be great for you to get a little TLC. The most important thing is to make certain you heal correctly. You only get one chance at that. Speak frankly and openly with your doctor...he will be able tgo give you the right answers for you and it won't be the first time someone has asked those type questions.

On the dating thing. Unless the question of childbirth is posed it is really up to you. If you are close enough to someone to be considering intimacy the subject should come easily. This is how I handled my seizure disorder (now inactive) when I was dating.

Lastly, I am so glad you found this site! It is both informative and entertaining and everyone here is just so sweet and helpful. Just remember that everyone heals and recovers differently as we all are unique and have had different procedures done amongst the group.

Rest and heal!!

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Unread 11-08-2003, 10:59 PM
Questions from a rare perspective

Ros Lyn

This is not a rare prospective. Not everyone is married with children or in a "Brady Bunch" arrangement. I am not.

Its tough on your own. You will know when the time is right for intamacy of any degree because you will feel comfortable about your body and who you are to share it with. ( We know Its a blessed Jungle out there and you have to pick the right Lion)

You have to be up front and say at least that you have had surgery and request things progress on the slow side.

The details of what surgery etc. is personal ...and like the last post on here... thats up to you if you want to share it.

Hope this helps
Unread 11-09-2003, 07:45 AM
Questions from a rare perspective


I really can't give you any advice, because I'm in the same boat and don't know what to do either.

I'm divorced, and haven't dated in a couple of years. Needless to say, I haven't had sex since my TAH last year. I know the response is still there, but I'm not sure if the equipment still fully works. I keep wondering what will happen when I get to that situation, and also how to tell whoever I'm with about my surgery.

I met a wonderful guy back in May and went out a couple of times, though it didn't progress to a physical relationship. I couldn't figure out what to do about telling him about my hysterectomy, but never got a chance to anyway, due to some circumstances in his own life which caused our relationship to end.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this one.



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